Friday, February 25, 2011
The Last Heathen Standing
Of the first few blogs I saw, all were right in my face with Jesus, the Lord is my shepherd, and praise be it that God smiles on all of us.
I took a breather. Too much religion in too short a time. I walked away from the computer to collect my heathenistic soul and regroup. Many minutes later I plopped into my hard wooden chair and punched up "next blog" again. Again another blog touting the wonders of prayer and duty to our saviour. Punched it again. And yeah, once more I was told in no uncertain terms that Christianity was the path to true enlightenment. Even given chapter and verse.
Almost in a panic, I began punching the "next blog" button over and over again, hoping against hope that the whole blogosphere had not been born again while I slept. But no, every blog that came up had serious religion wrapped into every message or post.
Where were the obnoxious teen angst blogs? The Mommy blogs? The I hate Liberals blogs? Not even one blog that used squares and other wingy dingy font like images came up. I must have hit that button 50 times and God was all I got.
Like some biblical previous believer who had been beat down over the years and lost his faith but then was confronted by events that were supposed to bring him back into the fold, I was struck dumb and stupid because nowhere did I see anyone who was not all a twitter over their religion. Sacrilege had disappeared, replaced by pleasant faced bible thumpers urging me to see the light.
It is said there are no atheists in a foxhole. What do they say when one is in a foxhole hunkered down to miss the fire and brimstone being lobbed at them? What do I call that? I am not exactly an atheist. I am not exactly a believer. Something in between suits my fence straddling style, but I felt inundated and overwhelmed. What I wanted, no, make that needed to set the Blog World right for me was one blog that spouted the teachings of , oh I don't know, Satan or maybe at least Ozzie eatin a bat on stage. Something that reflected the reality I thought was really out there. Hell, I would have gladly accepted some brooding Goth or Emo blog.
Have I been hiding in Maine too long? Has the western world really gone over the edge? Am I alone, the last heathen standing?
Where's Randal when I need him?