Tuesday, November 28, 2023

The Hornet - Another Dream Sequence

I opened the door to the half bathroom in the front hallway. Stuffed into a bucket and wrapped in some kind of mesh was a branch with a hornet's nest attached. ..... A big hornet's nest. Not a realistically sized hornet's nest, but an over sized nest that one could understand finding only in a dream.

Upon opening the door, huge hornets began to rush out of the hive and collect in defense postures on its surface. Their wings fluttered and twisted. One of them found a hole in the mesh that surrounded them. Another hornet followed by another and another until all of them escaped into the bathroom and the rest of the house. A hornet landed on my hand and stung me. 

Oddly, I was not afraid. But I knew I had to warn my house full of guests they would have to evacuate until I took care of these party pooping pests. 

As people flooded out of my house, I began to check for hornets. On their way out, one of my guests said:

" Will we still get to meet your dad?"

"Of course, he's just running late."

I continued my search of the house. 

Someone tapped me on the shoulder and I turned around. It was my father. He wanted to help me deal with the hornets. We scoured the house until I looked under the hand carved table crafted by my ship's carver great grandfather in the late 19th century. Hanging upside down to the underside of the table was a hornet the size of a small turkey. Again, I was not scared.

My father said, "It's the Queen." 

He pushed me out of the way and with two hands grabbed the queen hornet and presented it to me:

The queen began to squirm and fight to escape.

"Quick, do you have a knife?"

I pulled out my green "Old Timer" knife with it's 3" blade and tried to hand it to him.

"No, You do it......... I have my pants full holding it."

"But dad, how .......?"

"Cut its head off."

I used the knife to decapitate the hornet. Looking inside the decapitated head, I saw nothing. The head was empty.

That is when I woke up.


I wanted to share this dream as it is not often I am able to remember dreams anymore, especially with this kind of detail. Not sure what it means. Don't care what it means. I just thought it was a great dream.

I am guessing that some people might consider this a nightmare or maybe a bad dream. I don't. I cannot remember having a nightmare since the night when I was eight and I went to sleep after having seen the original "King Kong" on "The Late Show". 

That was the last time I asked to sleep in my parents bed as far as I can remember. Ever since, I have categorized dreams as Great, Good, or Not so Good. But never have I ever been scared of a dream like I was that night after watching King Kong run amok in New York City. 

As always, please keep it 'tween the ditches ........................


First I googled "Songs about King Kong". There were quite a few. But I was not impressed with my first searches. So I googled "Songs about dreams". ..... Jack Pot!

Metallica's 1991 tune, "Enter Sandman'' was staring me in the face. It was Black Sabbath who tickled my interest in Metal music and it was Metallica twenty years later, who made me admit to myself, I was part head banger after all.

There's an unwritten rule about Metal music. Listen to it with the volume turned below WOW and it means you're a pussy. Metal music is meant to be felt, not just heard.

Monday, November 27, 2023

Shit on My New Shoes Blues

I was listening to a Molly Tuttle cover of Neil Young's "Helpless". My eyes were closed and the body rushes from the hairs standing up on the back of my neck made me tear up a tad. In the midst of this silent revelry, memories of my days at Towson College and the basement of West Hall flooded in.

There was no specific connection by just listening to a song that caused me to remember an otherwise forgettable college mixer. It was just another random moment of pure unadulterated happiness from my past. Not sure why, but I think of this moment quite often and quite often it makes me shed a tear or two.  And now, as I try to write about it this Monday morning, I am again shedding a tear with no explanation. 

The moment that has visited me so many times over the past 50 plus years was at the time, just another mixer on the campus with nothing special going on except drinking beer in plastic cups. Two friends of mine performed that night. They only had one song, but that is all they needed to cement this night into my memory. 

Toole played guitar and Bean sang the lyrics. It was a simple Blues tune performed by two friends who were obviously very nervous. Toole looked like he was going to pass out and Bean almost whispered the first few lines. The song was called "Shit on My New Shoes Blues". It was hilarious and it brought down the house. 

That this moment from my past continues to crop up on the re-run channel in my mind used to puzzle me. As I said, it was just mixer with drunken college students. I went to many of them back then. I think I have finally figured out why I keep dragging out this pin prick of  a time gone by, while other more personal headline moments languish on the dusty back shelves of my brain pan.

In the 50 plus years since that party in the basement of West Hall, Life has had its way with me. Over all, I have been a very lucky man when considering what can go wrong in a life. I have dodged many bullets. But like everyone I think, I have not made it to age 71 without accumulating some scars. 

This memory is not one of them.

Keep it 'tween the ditches ..........................................


Today's musical choice is a two-fer.  Neil Young's,  "Helpless", first released on CSN&Y's 1970 Deja Vue album. Then, please enjoy Molly Tuttle's cover of the same song.

Thursday, November 23, 2023

The Turkey From Hell

Some months ago, a client of my wife's dropped off a couple of frozen turkeys as a thank you for having her taxes done . One went to the woman BA works with and unfortunately, as it turned out, one came home with my wife.

It was a sizable turkey I pulled out of that bag. Not a monster, but big enough to tell me this bird was destined for the coffin freezer in the basement. One look at its immensity and I knew it was going to disrupt the organized calm in the freezer I had finally attained after years of effort. Irregular shapes of a large turkey size did not lend themselves well to fitting into a tightly packed and efficient square cubic freezing medium. I hated this bird as soon as  I stuffed it in that coffin freezer. 

I entertained no notion of processing the gobbler into some kind of foodstuff anytime soon. Secretly, I hoped to find a home for it at the dump someday when it had become a freeze dried turkey carcass with really cool freezer burns on its previously pale skin. But no. BA mentioned one day last week we needed to do something with the turkey. 

She suggested we ought to turn it into soup and not bake it. She said her assistant had cooked hers months ago and it was a disappointment; tougher than a boiled owl I imagined. 

A few days ago, I began the process of turning the ole bird into turkey soup. Having little or really no domestic kitchen skills under my belt, I have made the process much harder and anguish filled than I needed to. I realized that later as I relaxed for a moment and considered the absolute agony of clueless cooking I had just brought to a close.

My wife, with her decades of domestic bliss in the kitchen, (I'll pay for this comment should she read it), ........ My wife, who spent many years in support of our family at home, while I chased wages to keep the supplies of living consistently coming in; well, she acted like making soup was no big thing. She was right of course as she often tells me. But I still had my doubts every time I cussed that frozen carcass as I moved it out of the way or had trouble finding room for new freezer items because it hogged so much cubic footage.

As it turned out, not including de-frosting, the process of bird to soup took me three and a half days. The amount of soup is north of four gallons and we will feeding on this for the next eternity. It came out well, but then as BA assured me, there's nothing hard about making turkey soup.

Yeah, right.

Ya'll have a great Thanksgiving, ya hear .................................................


Music today is that all time hit, "Turkey Hokey Pokey"......... Enjoy!

Sunday, November 19, 2023

That Time of the Month

I sat down at the kitchen table this morning around 5:30-6:00 AM. I was not awake yet and that first sip of coffee had yet to pass my lips. I clicked on the small TV. Because we are in the smart ages now, the algorithm that often supersedes my entertainment choices, decided to open up CNBC like it knows that on Sunday we always watch CNBC or NBC with our coffee. It kind of pisses me off that they assume anything about me even if they are more often right than not.

I mumbled and grumbled some, but it was an empty mumbled grumble. I grumbled just to hear myself mumble a grumble because it was early on a morning I used to sometimes sleep through and now I can't. A few moments in with the mumbled grumbling, I managed to focus on the TV. The female host and an informed female guest were gleefully, with smiles on their faces, discussing women's menstruation issues.

I would have mumbled some more grumbles and switched channels had it not been for some words that passed between these two younger women. It was regarding a favorite female go to proof of female toughness that most women are convinced, proves women are tougher than men.

One of the two women asked, "What would Men do if they had to deal with a menstrual cycle?"

Without a blink of her eye, the other lady said:

"They'd probably High Five each other and brag about how many pads they bled through."

I didn't blow coffee out of my nose, but I did spill it as I was bringing it to sip mode when I snorted instead and it dribbled down the front of my shirt. .......... Damn, that was funny.  I know funny and yeah, I am still laughing about it. Guys would definitely do that.

These two women had my attention now. I focused on the rest of the segment and came away with a tad more information I should have had to begin with, but because of the eon's old taboos on mentioning this subject in public, I have had to educate myself through bits and pieces.

Women's periods in my life began as clueless titters and chuckles between groups of children speaking in low voices about something they all knew they shouldn't be discussing. They did not know why, but they damn well knew not to mention it at home. It was a shameful thing that women were afflicted with. Talking about Menstrual cycles was worse than using cuss words.

Cultural pressures and my willful ignorance on the subject managed to keep me in the dark regarding "That Time of the Month". It wasn't until college and my first serious relationship with a girl that I had my first real experience with how bad menstrual cycles could be. K suffered hard during her period. Heavy bleeding accompanied by cramps that often made her double over. All the while, I stood by clueless and helpless because that is what we guys did. Guys acted like menstruation did not exist. And when confronted with it, did their best to ignore it.

Because of ages old conditioning by our various cultures, women had also become convinced menstruation was something to be ashamed of, something that was evil, something their chosen god looked down on. Women had been indoctrinated through religion and constant day to day bullshit that they should be ashamed of bleeding every month or so. Women were less than men. Women needed men, for without them, the ladies would quickly become helpless and would self destruct.

Hmm ........

Don't believe the hype. Women are way tougher than Men. ........... Believe it. 

Later ......................................


By the Way :

If you want to learn more about the entrenched issues associated with menstruation on a national and international scale, a place to possibly start might be an NBC documentary on at 10 PM tonight - Sunday, Nov. 19 -2023 this evening on NBC called -  "Periodical" 

I'm setting the tube up to record in case I pass out before the show begins.


Music for this post - Hmm ........ I googled - "Music about Menstruation". Many tunes popped up. Who knew? Apparently I didn't, but that's on me. I checked more than a few songs and settled on a new-ish song by an artist called "Peach". Here is her take on that time of the month. Here is  "Period Song".

Big Note ( roll eyes ) A warning comes with this tune describing it as having "explicit material". Just what the Hell is wrong with humans anyway? Buncha  Close Minded Tight Ass Dumb Fucks.

Friday, November 17, 2023

My Non-Apology Apology to Taylor Swift

Right out of the gate and before I get started on this post, I would like to extend a pre-apology for anything I end up writing that might disturb, bother, or somehow insult anyone who happens to read what I write here today. ............ Of course I don't mean it, but maybe someone somewhere will think more kindly of me because I made a gratuitous attempt to garner their favor. Call it a non-apology apology.

I am an old fart who actually has some Internet game, having been active here in the byte filled internet ether for coming up on 30 years. 

( Question- is it "on the Internet" or 'in the Internet"? For some reason today, I don't like either version, ...Uh, well never mind; in the scheme of what is important, nothing I post or questions I may ask amount to anything more than adding to the infinite amount of wasted bandwidth that is Humanity circle-jerking each other on the Internet. )

Newsgroups of the 1990's got me involved in the emerging world of Social Media. It was the barrage of insults that were traded back and forth that hooked me. I just loved swapping "Yo Momma" barbs with strangers I did not know. 

As the World Wide Web expanded its influence, social media pressures from outside our protected little bubbles began to seep in and disturb our lives. Before we could say "What the Fuck", some clown, or group of clowns on the other side of the planet were forcing their ideas and thoughts into our own. 

Some folks claim it is good to have our world views challenged. That is probably true. But today, many of the interactions end up being just some asshole or group of assholes venting their bitter, hateful judgments of folks they don't know and will never ever care to know. It's much easier to be mean to a stranger.

Now 25 years later, I am supposed to worry about what people outside my own circle jerk think about how I conduct my life. I am supposed to be concerned about the feelings I hurt, the criticisms I make, and the lack of respect of the Human Race my time on the Internet has taught me. I tried to care, show some concern or at least some empathy. When there was no reciprocation in kind, I shrugged it off and stopped trying to always be civil.  

Individually, almost every person I have met face to face has shown me they are most days, decent and caring human beings. But give someone a smart phone, a PC, or "gasp", an iPad and the game of interacting can become ugly in a heartbeat. The ability to hide behind the anonymity of a computer keyboard allows even nice folks from down the street to become ugly, hateful personas who never have to face the repercussions of their previously buried acrimonious hostile feelings.

Allow people to hide their identities and the result can and often is an Internet cauldron of ugly, nasty, and false accusations that are always simmering and not so occasionally, will boil over and fire up large numbers of idiots for no good reason other than their feelings were hurt or their dignity was compromised, their manhood questioned, or maybe worst of all, they perceive someone has disrespected their favorite celebrity. 

Nothing brings down a barrage of vitriolic condemnation faster than when someone writes something like,"Taylor Swift music is nothing special Pop Music dribble." ( stay tuned to see if I get shit about this joke, not joke I just made)

Out here in the real world I used to just laugh at the over the top activities of people who cannot go with the flow when interacting with others. But now, with the Internet, the sad, the  angry, and the insane have found a louder voice and formed larger groups of like minded losers who preach their venal hatred or condemnations to each other so much, it becomes an orgy of judgmental hate and discontent; the result being about hating and condemning without rhyme or reason. 

I refuse to be anonymous on the 'Net. Being open about who I am creates a check to my occasional desire to be an asshole to a stranger. I was taught better. I was taught to assume the best in people until they opened their mouths and threw "best" right out the window.

For me, being honest as I can about who I am and how I feel wipes out any guilt I may have if I hide behind a false identity. I wish more of us did that.

Keep it 'tween the ditches ............................


Music, Music, Music,............. This part of my posts sometimes is the hardest part of the post; finding a tune that fits the words, or at least has something in common like a vowel or color.

Well,, fuckin wow, wow, WOW!

I figured since I had voiced an uninformed opinion regarding Taylor Swift's music in the post, I owed her  at least a shot at redeeming herself and proving me wrong.

I googled "Taylor Swift song about how the Internet sucks." What popped up immediately in milli seconds was "You Need to Calm Down".  

I don't know enough about Taylor Swift to make any judgement regarding her music, yet that is exactly what I have done. This song tells me I will have to actually check her music out before I open my pie hole again. 

How's that for a non-apology apology?

Wednesday, November 15, 2023

Junior High Shenanigans

The GOP used to present a united front in public. They kept their internal differences mostly out of the light of day. Democrats on the other hand, could always be counted on to allow some of their internal party squabbles to spill out into the public arena. Yeah Democrats used to be the loose dogs who occasionally acted like children.

My, how times have changed. The GOP has become so dysfunctional over the last decade and a half, they cannot govern anymore, they can't agree with even themselves, and now, they have become junior high kids pissing on each other's feet. The GOP seems to be determined to implode.

When it became apparent in 2017, the GOP was in serious trouble, I welcomed their inability to legislate. They became the party of "No". I was sure if they continued down this road of  performative negative politics, it would mean the end of the Republican Party I grew up with. 

What I did not consider was the fact that watching the GOP self destruct, while bringing a smile to my lips on occasion,  has hurt our country deeply. The long term results of which, we will feel for years. 

As much as I wish the GOP all the ill will I can muster, I am beginning to hope they either blow up soon, or begin to find some sanity and become legislators again and not just whiny little bitches who only want to "own the Libs".

What a bunch of Buffoons.

Keep it 'tween the ditches ........................................


"Politician" by Cream from their "Wheels of Fire" album which came out in 1968. Still pertinent today because politics has always attracted the same kind of assholes.

Tuesday, November 14, 2023

Ship of Fools

The assault on Democracy here in the States is but one of many attacks on participatory government throughout the globe. Authoritarian conservative movements everywhere seem intent on turning our troubled rock into a world ruled by fear of a minority hierarchy who have only their own selfish goals in mind.

No matter that they are not what they claim to be, their efforts to create a Totalitarian world all seem to have one thing in common; kill any notion of self determination and create populations of slaves. Their power will come at the expense of the people they decided do not deserve full participation unless they have slurped the dogmatic Koolaid of those in power.

All  these oppressive and repressive  movements insist on lock step obedience of their slack jawed minions as they work to change this world of light and dark into a world where Dark is the only shade and Black is the only color. Their goal, to snuff out any any hope for the future unless one walks their walk and talks their talk. Diversity is the ugliest word in their lexicon.

I have tried to come up with a real world analogy for this kind of selfish mentality.  All I can think of is we are like a nature preserve where the alpha animals are in danger of self annihilation because they mindlessly overfed and are now beginning to fight over the scraps instead of working together to find a solution.

Common sense would indicate that working together has never been more important. Yet here we are allowing elites to waste time and human resources in an effort to selfishly hold on to as much of what is left for themselves. 

It is not longer "United We Stand, Divided We Fall". Now we are entering a time of "It's  Our Way or the Highway". 

And The Ship of Fools, mindlessly and gleefully,  continues to chug onward  toward its self-inflicted annihilation.

Later ....................................


Google came up with more than a few tunes wrapped up and around "music about the stupidity of humanity". I picked 2 tunes I had never heard before. 

  • "Ship of Fools" - World Party - This One is poignant and on target,
  •  "Human Stupidity" - Nihility. - This one thrashes the right vibes for how I sometimes feel.