Thursday, December 05, 2019

Cherished Christian Values

The Evangelical Right has been whining for years about how unfair the Secular World is to them.  Cry me a river.  They enthusiastically endorsed the most evil and amoral politician in years and then expect us to not notice the blatant hypocrisy of that move.  They deserve all the disrespect and derision they get.

Clueless soldiers of God wonder why they are losing faithful participants at such a high rate.  They did this to themselves with their inflexible and nonsensical views that somehow taking us back to the days of the Old Testament will save us, but just in case get ready for the End.  I have no pity nor any respect for them.

Instead of looking inward to the cause of their decline,  they hide behind tired excuses, religious mumbo jumbo and that favorite of favorites, religious persecution.  Bullshit.  Heathens are not to blame.  They, and they only are to blame.  Nothing but a bunch of sanctimonious jerkwads.

All the Secular World wants from them is to stop trying to turn our nation into a Theocracy and become no better than those countries they pretend to hate, because everyone knows the Christian god is the only true god.  Save the Fire and Brimstone for Sunday behind closed doors.  Stop trying to cram it down my throat.

But I guess it was only a matter of time before they were going to meet their new Messiah.  The God Fearing and the God Sneering united in a duality of purposes, both intent on the subjugation of the folks they pretend to care about.  You two deserve each other.

And to think I once considered the Episcopal priesthood as a career.  Damn, I sure dodged a bullet.

Later .................................................

Monday, December 02, 2019

You Can't Fix Evil

When flinging derogatory comments at the  Right Winging side of the political aisle, a favorite go to slogan was, "You can't fix Stupid".  It offered some small satisfaction and closure when dealing with the idiots of the opposition.  Logic certainly was useless as the Right existed and still does in a selfish intractable world devoid of logic and common sense.

I have moved on from the quaint notion, “You can't fix Stupid".  More than 30 years of bruises and blackened eyes trying to bring the Stupid back to the world of objectivity and facts has convinced me that the Stupid of the Right will always be stupid and there is nothing I can do about it.

It is obvious to me that the puppet masters pulling the Right Winging strings of their slack jawed minions know what they are doing.  They know that what they are doing is evil when looked at using universally accepted rules of ethics and moral behavior.  They just do not care as long as they can continue to manipulate the population in the direction that benefits them and those like them.  Using lies to build fear and divisiveness, they have been able to move the USA in any direction they want.

To be fair, there are those on the Left who also try to emulate the Right's evil ways.  Their efforts are Bush League when compared to the Right’s masterful ability to disseminate fantastical lies as facts

I realize I can't fix Stupid. More importantly, It is Evil I cannot fix. I can only oppose it and try to minimize its impact.

Later ..................................................

Saturday, November 30, 2019


So Ray, of that wonderful Yooper couple, Ray and Nan, informed me he is currently trying out Linux instead of his old computer's original operating system.  I am jealous.   The first time I heard of Linux, I was enthralled.  Just figured it would be too tough for a lazy dumass like me to deal with.  And it may be.  We'll see.

It is not that Linux is free.  It is that rumor I have read that it is less likely to suck up viruses, malware, and streaming monsters.  Cheap and reliable in my opinion is the mark of a great tool.

So here I am on Day 1.  I have signed up.  I have read my first tutorial.  And now like I have actually accomplished something, I am bragging about having done nothing more than what amounts to stepping onto the treadmill and admired it without turning it on.

I will keep you posted ....................

Thursday, November 28, 2019


Google has begun to offer up answers to what I assume are the questions asked the most about the specific thing we wanted an answer about.  Four questions that often appear to have been picked out of the internet fog without thyme or reason.  I googled "Thanksgiving".  The first answered question was "What Thanksgiving really means?"  I was not interested in their answer.  I did not open the answer.  Each of us have to answer that for ourselves.

Have a sumptious gathering this day Y'all.

Wednesday, November 27, 2019

Dung Beetles

I guess it was when Moscow Meetch was the hot topic a few months back when I decided that he and Senator Lindsey reminded me of Dung Beetles.

An Ass like Trump needs a few guys with shovels and brooms to stay close to his backside to keep the streets free of the mountain of shit he spreads like so much confetti at a Johnny comes marching home parade.

I was reminded of this by Ray, my online Yooper buddy when he posted something on Facebook about Senator Lindsey and spirit animals.  Suddenly it all clicked.  The Right has become a population enthralled with anything related to shit.

 Some of the shit is old shit brought back to use in false narratives and false comparisons.  And when the old shit is not doing it for them, they make up new shit.  Some of the shit they scoop up as it falls from Trump's butt.  And some, like Senators Lindsey and McConnell, roll Trump's shit into little balls to be savored later when they are alone.  Or maybe they are rolling it up to sell at a future date.  One can count on that I suppose, what with money and its possession being ahead of Country, God and the American Way on the Right side of the aisle.  And to be fair, the Left has its share of money first assholes also.

Sadly, my comparison to the noble Dung Beetle seems unfair.  No, it is unfair.  But there it is.  Life is not fair.  And from what I can tell, Dung Beetles do not care.  They only care how big a pile of shit they can roll into their Dung Beetle lairs.  Trump is a lucky man to have these two covering his backside.  Without them, if he turned around to walk back from where he came, he'd trip and possibly hurt himself as he fell face first into his own shit.

Keep up the good work.  Mitch and Graham, you guys rock.  Just take off your overalls and shoes before you come into my house.

Later ..................................................

Tuesday, November 26, 2019

The 1956 Green Pontiac

The green 1956 Pontiac station wagon was a beast. My mom insisted on a big V-8 and a three speed manual transmission on the column . She had to wait an extra 8 weeks to get it. In 1956, every car out of Detroit it seemed came with automatics. My mom would often take me with her to run errands, visit a friend, or just go for a ride. At age four and five, I didn't care why, I just wanted to ride in that car. It was big and it was the first car I remember.

I do not remember ever sitting in the front seat. The reason escapes me now sixty some years later. Was my back seat status voluntary or some parental rule laid down for my safety or their sanity? Whatever the reason, the back seat it seems is where all memories in that car come from.

Mom always made plans for our local trips. Dire warnings to come home clean so we could go here or there always preceded our journeys.  By age four I had definitely developed a keen ability to find and wear any dirt, grease or grass stains within a 10 yard radius of wherever I was at the time.  It is habit I have yet to break. Some trips were canceled in what I assume was retribution for failing to live up to the clean clothes directive. More than once I can remember watching sadly as the green Pontiac disappeared down the driveway going on some grand adventure without me. This never went over well with my brothers either. Me home but without a parent in the house meant I had to be cared for and any stupidity they had planned was ruined and it was my fault. They were after all, aging teenagers who had no interest in caring for a kid brother whose only use in Life was to complicate theirs.

In that station wagon I would sit on my knees so I could look out the side window, the front window, any window I wanted. Back then, seat belts were not on anyone's radar, least of all mine.  But threats of bodily harm from the front seat kept my most rabid activities to a minimum.   And yeah, I can remember well what it felt like to crash face first into the back of the front seat as  Mom avoided a variety of collision catastrophes.

Watching the world zip by at fifty miles an hour just seemed so cool. When it was warm, I would hang my arm out with my hand flat and pretend to be a jet airplane. I would move my arm like a snake and feel the wind pressure change against my hand and arm. I would gaze into the woods and fields daydreaming about being a cowboy on the trail herding cattle, fighting rustlers, or being the Lone Ranger and saving Ole Lady Grigsby's  ranch from the evil land agent and his gang of pony ridin cut throats.

At age four through age eight or nine, the world beyond my house and yard was a wonderful mystery to me.  In the Green Pontiac, some of those mysteries were resolved, while many more teased me from around the next corner or over that horizon.  That 1956 green Pontiac station wagon was my first grand introduction to the wide world waiting for me to make a mess of.

Yeah, I loved that car.

Monday, November 25, 2019

Smokin Joe Biden on Smokin Roaches Monday

I have been awake since 2:30 AM.   Not whinin nor braggin, just letting anyone interested know that I enjoyed a good wake n bake just as the Sun poked its lil head up in the East. I had 3 1/2 hours to think about the pros and cons.  I decided the pros outranked the cons.  Attitude adjustments should always be on the table.  Retirement definitely has its perks.

I have been waffling of late over which stellar Democratic candidate I would like to see in the White House instead of Putin's Bitch.  There are so many choices, it is hard for me to nail down one contender who makes me wet like Obama did.   In 2016, Hillary certainly did not make me swoon. But I voted for her because, well, I knew we would be in a world of hurt should The Donald take the helm.  As it turns out he is actually worse than any nightmare scenario I came up with prior to his election.  But I am getting off track ..........

So here I am trying to whittle the Democratic field of candidates down to a more manageable number, say down to two or three with Good ole Joe Biden as the default.  The prime objective for the 2020 election for me is to replace Trump and as many Republicans as possible.  They are nothing now but a gang of chimpanzees hatefully flinging their shit around.  Any notion of legislating and leading from the Right has disappeared completely.  In its place is the new-ish GOP doctrine of just say No, while whining like spoiled little brats.

I decided Mayor Pete was my current favorite after earmarking him six or so months ago as someone to watch..  There was and is no second place yet, but there is always Joe.  Good Ole Reliable Joe Biden had my back.  He would bring some class and ethics back to the Executive Branch.

Hmm........... A couple of months ago I noticed Joe didn't seem to have much spark.  Sure he was and is reliable and way more capable than the current POTUS.  But I was not as enthralled as I had been.  And then just, what, last week or so ago, he said in a speech that he would not support legalizing Pot because he was pretty sure it was a gateway drug.  Just "Pretty Sure Joe?

Good Ole reliable Joe Biden is now not even on my list.  He finally blew it for me.  Never mind that the whole "gateway drug" scenario is Bullshit anyway, his behind the times stance on almost anything keeps him from even entertaining the least progressive currents now gaining momentum on the Left.  It is time for Democrats to stop being afraid of the Right.

As the Right careens headlong towards its lunatic fringes, the Left should step off the fence and counter the Right by embracing more of the basic liberalism the Left used to stand for.

Remember ............. Let's work hard to Dump the Right in 2020.  They deserve a good spanking ...... No, they need a good spanking.

Keep it 'tween the ditches ......................................................

Sunday, November 24, 2019

OK Boomer

So, I just finished stomping on some Millennial's sensitive parts.  Didn't mean to, just voicing my opinion.  Matter of fact, I just now received a Facebook icon in the corner of my computer screen telling me he replied again.  Damn kid is wearing me out.

So anyway, today's encounter with the harsh judgement of another combined with my post yesterday on FB regarding my White Privilege and suddenly I found something to blog about.

It is very rare for me to even take note of pissing anyone off on the intertubes.  But the total breakdown of communication between myself and this young man brought the differences between generations into stark contrast.  It was when he started out one comment, "OK Boomer', that I realized what we had here was someone with a generational ax to grind.

I tried not to get sucked into the generational thing.  And upon reviewing my responses, other than calling him "Junior" once, I did a fair job of staying with my point.  In fairness, he did also.  But he had laid the foundation of a Boomer facing that which they had a part in creating.  And he exuded an attitude of resenting me for it.

What it appears we both did was steadfastly decide to not understand each other.  And that's okay, its what generations do to each other.

Later ...................................................

Wednesday, August 07, 2019

Unintentional Fake News

I was reading the Google news feed on my phone this morning and a story about the 30-50 pro assault gun meme popped up.  Apparently a fellow from the South who owns some property asked how was he supposed to shoot 30 -50 feral hogs that run into his yard in 3 to 5 minutes without an assault weapon.  He was inferring the danger to his children.  The article from "Slate" went on to agree he had a point.

Now this is where I do the predictable thing and talk about how his argument is stupid, great, or something in between.  No, I won't do that.  It is the background of this story handed to us as factually based I have a problem with.

Once the purpose of the article was solidly in place, a brief history of feral hogs unfolded, giving us their past and their present and the doom and gloom if their populations are not put in check.

One claim in particular caused me to check its accuracy.  "Now, 48 states have reported the animals’ presence..........." 

I had not heard of any feral hog sightings in Maine, and having actually followed the rise of the feral hog problem in previous years, I understood the problem to be one mostly located in the Sun Belt and not up in the frozen outback states nestled next to Canada.

 I jumped all over it and googled faster than you could say "Google It".  The first article that popped up was from a local paper, "The Portland Press Herald".  They claimed Maine has no feral hog issue as there are no feral hogs that have encroached into Maine. According to the article feral hogs only inhabit 39 states.

Fast forward now to my second Google.  An article in the "Central Maine Sentinel" told the story of a Russian boar killed in Somerset County in the yard of a very surprised farmer.  Officials were sure it was not born in Maine and it did not travel this far from another state.  It was most likely one that had escaped a state licensed game preserve.

So what is my conclusion in all this?  The people who write and deliver the news need to be especially careful now days to frame their stories in a way that does not give the wrong impressions.  In other words, report the facts that are not up for interpretation.  And if the facts are up for interpretation, say that.

Fake news is fake news even when it is unintentional.

Later ..............................................

Monday, August 05, 2019

Smoking Roaches Monday - Maggie and Sammie

Its been a beautiful morning here on Sam Page Road.  Sun's out, 60 degrees or so and the humidity feels almost non-existent.  I took my dynamic duo, Maggie and Sammie, for some leg stretching over to Mary's Woods across from my place.  Sammie is on loan from my daughter and her SO while they are off gallivanting who knows where.  I don't remember gallivanting so much as they are at their age.  But that is to be expected.  There is a lot I don't remember from 35 years ago.

Once safely cross Sam Page Road, I released both.  Maggie took off into the pucker and Sammie waited patiently for me to throw the Chuckit.  When I Chuckit, Sammie will fetch it at full tilt boogie until he can't run anymore.  His chest heaving hard, he finally collapses at my feet.  The ball from the last Chuckit firmly clamped between intimidating teeth that refuse release until , well, its been 30 minutes since we came back, and that damn ball is still in his mouth. A single minded mutt for sure. He loves his Chuckit.

Like me, Maggie does not understand the concept of Chuckit.  She watches Sammie run himself to exhaustion chasing a stupid ball.

"What a brain dead dog he is", she mutters to herself.  Maggie knows real fun.  She runs and runs, just to run until her eyes cross and her tongue is hanging out with her dog spit tricklin hard off the tip.

Sammie looks at her and thinks, "What a dumb mutt.  She runs and runs and gets nothin done.  Me, I at least bring the ball back every time, never fail, you can depend on me yes-sir-ree-Bob's your uncle."

Anyway, have a great Monday.  Just don't burn your fingers.

Sunday, August 04, 2019

The Right is to Blame

Two mass shootings in less than 24 hours.  Think about that for moment. ....................

According to Mother Jones, there have been 113 mass shootings or killing sprees in the States since 1982.  We can now add another two incidents and 29 more fatalities to the 1035 people killed since the early 1980s.

Some folks may try to minimize the effect of 1064 people killed in 37 years as a price of a free and armed society.  .......... Bullshit.    Others might counter that mass killings only happen a few times a year.  Again Bullshit.

The pace of mass shooting incidents has definitely picked up since 2016. In the 34 years prior to 2016, 78 incidents left 749 people dead.  That is about 2.3 incidents a year.  Since 2016 we have had 37 incidents with 325 people dead.  That works out to in an almost 4 year period, about 9.2 incidents a year.  And the pace is actually higher in the last two years.

What is the one common denominator that might explain this outrageous increase in mass shootings over the last four years?  I would conclude it was the poisonous political and social atmosphere Donald Trump pumped up to a boil when he disrespected the country with his presence.

And instead of helping to rein in this pitiful excuse for a national leader, his party, the GOP, sit on their hands, look down at their feet, or actually root this asshole on.  And the Right claims to know a patriot when they see one.  They haven't had that ability since the Rich took over the party in the late 1800s.

Later ...................................

Friday, August 02, 2019

Comrade Meetch and Vlad's Bitch

When Moscow Mitch  blocked the two recent election bills, the Donald came to his defense, telling reporters last Tuesday (7/30/19), 

“Mitch McConnell is a man that knows less about Russia and Russian influence than even Donald Trump. And I know nothing!”

Again Trump lays a whopper on us and we don't even blink.  Not anymore anyway.  It is impossible for anyone to "know less" about anything than Donald, I'm Vlad's Bitch, Trump.  I believe the man takes pride on how empty his cranial void is.  Nobody is this stupid unless its on purpose.  Trump had to and continues to work overtime on keeping his stupidity sharp and ready for any issue he might be needed to not have a clue about.

And it appears the GOP proletariat has embraced the clueless-ness and the stupidity of their chosen leader.  Together they wallow in ever deepening pools of nincompoopery.  They have been offered life jackets, yet they still refuse.  They would rather tread water waiting to drown than accept the help of those awful Socialist loving Democrats.  

A sign of the GOP's intractable course of stupidity, is their record of marketing that stupidity through retail sales of racist hats and Russian Love tee shirts. Their their drooling minions eat it up.

No better example of the brain dead nature of the Right is the "I'd rather be Russian than a Democrat" tee shirts and the uninformed reasoning of the two guys made famous when they were photographed  wearing the Tees at a Trump rally.

Of the shirts, one of the two, Tim Alicie said,

"We're not traitors by any means. And we're not Russian spies or cult leaders, ....."

"........ We've been working with Russia with the [International] Space Station, and doing a lot of things with Russia, not just that," Alicie added that critics of the Russia shirts "need to be a lot better informed."

Now there's some irony for ya.

Later ...............................................

Wednesday, July 31, 2019

The Deaf Jesuits - Revisited

The Deaf Jesuits - Revisited
For Turn Back The Clock Tuesdays
First posted - 11/25/05

I was involved in an interesting discussion the other day. Apparently I have been missing out on the evolution of Christian Music. No longer is it a musical backwater. Several billions of dollars are spent each year on every genre. There's everything from Bible thumping Metal to Country without the crying in my beer, my dog died and she's a two bit whore lyrics. Instead, the lyrics bring the Lord's message to us through music more hip to the times. The tunes that were sure to put us to sleep before we warmed the pews on Sunday are dead in the water. Never to be resurrected.

Anyway, some fellow who killed his girlfriend or wife recently had just finished listening to some Christian Metal band when he decided to do the deed. Now that's interesting. I would like to think this guy was too close to the edge to begin with. Primed and loaded. What he listened to was not relevant.

The person I was discussing this with had a different idea. He wondered if the recent religious pop was but a sign Satan had indeed breached the Christian wall. He wondered what the tunes sounded like played backwards. He was sure too much Christian indoctrination had made this guy go homicidal. He wondered if that much redemption, resurrection, we are all sinners destined for the pit and other holier than thou messaging is very healthy to the spiritual side of ourselves. He went on about how it seems the religiously endowed are precariously balanced on the tipping point between sanity and insanity and anything could push them over the edge.

I said, "Well Duh! The tipping point is there for all of us. Most of us are just lucky enough to miss finding it.  If it ain't music, it's a dog that talks to us, aliens in our head or the color green.  That guy was working hard to go crazy anyway.  His music just reinforced the urge. But he was crazy first and foremost."

We ended our conversation sure the other was clueless and went our way.

Later I checked into the Christian music phenomenon and noticed something odd. It appears the most growth in any religion has been in the Evangelical side of Christianity. Baptists ( the dancing kind), Fundamentalists, Methodists, and of course those wacky anti Catholics, the Episcopalians are all hip to the new wave Jesus save me Alternative music. Noticed by their absence was the lack of any attempt to brighten up the music of Catholics. Are Catholics just too stuffy and rigid to embrace the new rage? Or is it just that the Pope has not decreed a decree allowing all good Catholics the right to listen to previously sinful beats.

Let's face it, some music is hedonistic and evokes thoughts that run counter to keeping everything in it's place and safe from self gratification. All no-nos to the boys in Rome. But just think how much ground the Pope would re-gain if he dumped the stale and dusty hymnals of old for a newer and hipper set of tunes to draw em back into the Lord's fold.

I think Catholics need to jump on board with some new twists on admittedly some of the worst church music ever devised by Man. I even have some catchy band names to get em started.

~The Flagellating Monks - probably work best as a quartet. The lead singer can whip himself into a frenzy as he croons. A papal nod in the direction of the S & M crowd. After all, we's all God's chilluns.

~ Archie Bishop and the Pope Pushers - Focus on light pop with an emphasis on the show. Lyrics don't have to be audible, just sound inspiring and heartfelt. Typical audience - the Blue hair set.

~ Immaculate Conception - This trio will astound all who come to hear them. With no instruments or singing, music will just happen.

~ The Deaf Jesuits - The hook for this group is signing the lyrics. In order to appreciate them, you have to be able to sign along.

~ Hail Mary and the Mothers of God - Basic run of the mill light pop, pre-teen messaging. Emphasis on keeping your hands off yourself.

~ The Rhythm Methods - A capella group for the mature Catholic. This group proves you don't need instruments to make music.

~The Celibates - An edgier sound from this group proves a winner with the Pope and his crew. Probably won't catch on with the mainstream Catholic however. Rated PGB-15 ( Parental Guidance for Boys under 15)

~The Nattering Nun - Sister Delmonica wails her gold record hits, "Don't touch yourself there" and "Stick your hand out, I want to Smack it". She keeps the faith, keeps the message simple, but most of all she keeps it clean and entertaining.

~Father Blues and the Soul Redemption - Blues band doing Jelly Roll Morton covers with only most of the lyrics changed. Hard hittin guitar riffs with a brass section of Dominican monks second to none.

~Jesus, Mary and Joseph - A trio who owe much of their style and delivery to the folk group from the 50s and 60s with almost the same name. Real Hootenanny delivery.  Joseph played by transgender Sister Dan.

~Christ on a Crutch - A group whose goal is to reach the physically and mentally challenged. Their hit, "Your legs may be missing, but your heart belongs to God" will bring a tear to almost any eye.

~Confession - A techno remix group who will only admit who they ripped their latest tune off of from behind the closed curtain. Their niche tunes evoke deja vu all over again.


I have just re-read this after some small tuck and stitch done on it.  I don't care if it is good or bad, funny or not funny.  I will say that if I had written this in some countries say like Iran for instance, I would probably be sitting in some jail cooling my heels because I had offended some asshole's notion of what Allah would be offended by.  And regardless of  the poor choice we put in charge here in the US, I can still write stuff like this and not fear any repercussions from the government.  Its called counting blessings and no matter what else, we still have more than most.

Keep it "tween the ditches ...............................................

Tuesday, July 30, 2019

Dominion of Vegetables

“They want to create a race of soulless creatures on this planet.”

“They” are the supporters of the Luciferian plot to change Human DNA by making us eat meatless hamburgers at our favorite fast food joint.  The man speaking in his radio voice from God is none other than the good Rightwinged Reverend Rick Wiles of the Armageddon Gonna Ged Us Church and owner of the End Times Bistro, where the meat is red and made by God’s own hand.

Rick, it appears, is convinced Satan has incorporated and assimilated cooperative minions within the food industries to move Humanity away from eating God’s creatures and toss them to the evil mercies of the Dominion of Vegetables, which we all know is owned and operated by Lucifer himself.

I say Rick might just have latched onto something big here.  Something trying to fly below our radar.  But now that Rick has pushed this devilish plan to destroy our souls out into the light of day, we have no excuse to ignore it any longer. The ramifications of its potential success are just too dire for the Human Race.

It’s about our survival people! 

Monday, July 29, 2019

Smokin Roaches Monday - Honest Memories

"Two minds processed through chemical blenders attempt to find clarity or even vague translucence to their weak grip on whatever reality is left after dropping three hits of Sunshine acid each."

That was the first line I wrote today for my Smokin Roaches  Monday post for July 29.  I had planned to recount some dumbass drug moment from my past.  But 300 or so words into it, I stopped and read what I had written.  It was garbage.  Not worth the effort to post and maybe not even worthy of being the subject of  a conversation.  Yet here we are.

I constantly have to remind myself as the years stack up, that nothing but reruns of fond memories will often cloud the reality of what comprised my past.  No better example exists than my life under the influence of the many substances I dabbled in.

During the period I was deeply involved in substance abuse, I was sure I was having the time of my life.  What a wonderful world this was to stagger through and hardly remember much of.  Yeah, those were surely good times.  Times not to be forgotten nor remembered either.

What I do remember is performing a self appraisal the summer of 1972 just before sayin fuck this shit and hitch hiking home to Maine to get away from the lifestyle and the idiots I shared it with.  I was into hitting up pharmaceutical Methedrine and back alley Heroin.  I had become weary of the constant drag the drugs had on me and my life.  Every day was an evil cycle of looking for drugs, scoring drugs, doing drugs and coming down off drugs.

I have some regrets in my life.  My time with hard drugs is not one of them.  I did what I did and regretting it now is just wasting some of the time I am running out of.  All I try to do now is remember to not put on my rose colored glasses so often and remember my past with some balance and some honesty.

Keep it 'tween the ditches ..............................................................

Saturday, July 27, 2019

Secret Progeny

Sometimes, while watching a movie or reading a book, I will stop a moment and wonder how close to reality is this story of fiction I am currently enjoying?  While some tales seem to knock out any hint of being realistic, other stories make you wonder if this could happen in real life.

Well, I have proof now that a good piece of fiction can envision the future in uncanny ways.

I point you to the image in the upper right.  Just what are the odds that twin poster boy Aryan assholes, Donald Trump and Boris Johnson, could become world leaders at the same time?  And that they came with similar messages and identical monkey cage antics?  

The answer is, there are no coincidences.  Their appearance on the world stage was foretold in the novel, "The Boys from Brazil", by Ira Levin.  It was made into a movie two years later that starred Laurence Olivier and Gregory Peck.  

"The Boys From Brazil" was about a Nazi hunter (Olivier) chasing down the notorious Dr. Josef Mengele, well played by Gregory Peck.  Apparently Mengele had, through in vitro fertilization, impregnated 12 women with eggs containing Hilter's sperm.  And in his sick mind, he did what he could to make sure their lives followed exactly Hitler's childhood years.  It was a good movie.  Not great, but I would watch it again.

I believe we are looking at two of the twelve secret progeny of Hitler.  Don't let their goofy bullshit fool you.  These two are dangerous with a big D.

Keep it 'tween the ditches ..........................................................

Friday, July 26, 2019

Moscow Mitch

 Moscow Mitch McConnell blocked Democrat sponsored election meddling bills yesterday.  His claimed partisan politics by Democrats rings hollow given that he had been key to lifting sanctions on a Russian mafia/business oligarch so he could get a piece of the $200 million aluminum plant to be constructed in his home state of Kentucky.

Folks may wonder why I hate the Right so much.  The over abundance of sleaze bags like Moscow Mitch found in the GOP is a good place to start.  Sure, the Democrats have their share, but, hands down, no one can do sleaze like a Republican can. 

Later ....................................................

Monday, July 22, 2019

Smokin Roaches Monday - Mon, July 22, 2019

When I was an unmarried man of around 22, livin and partying paycheck to paycheck, I decided I would save my roaches and only smoke them on Mondays.  Mondays were the suckiest day of the week and roaches were the suckiest part of a joint.  Maybe dealing with the both of them at the same time made some kind of early 1970s sense.

It was not difficult to justify such actions.  My only responsibilities, showing up at work on time or close and paying my share of the rent, groceries and power.  The rest of my time and energy was generally spent on useless mind numbing endeavors satisfying my self indulgent urges.  Back in the day, no one could numb a mind like I could.

Along came the 1980s.  I woke up one morning and I was a married homeowner with a little shitwiggle scooting around on her bum, pulling cat hair and beating the dog.  Life conspired against me and forced my nose to the grindstone.  Just like that, a fine tradition a decade old disappeared faster than a nickel bag at a keg party, anywhere USA.

It appears I once again have few if any real responsibilities. I can reinstate Roach Monday.  Unless there are any objections, I will officially note that "Smokin Roaches Mondays are now back in business.

Don't burn your fingers ...................................................

Anaxyrus americanus

Ran into this little guy on the trail across Sam Page in Mary's woods this morning.  He or she hopped into my leg as Maggie ran by us hurrying to whatever smell came next to the stupid canine.  So, I had my Kodak moment for the day without looking for one.  I like it when the image of the day just appears without any thought or planning on my part.

According to The Frog Lady, This little guy or gal is an American Toad, the only species of toad we have here in Maine.  I had one that lived in my basement and garage for over a decade.  He got so big, he could only manage a couple of inches when he hopped.  Eventually he could not make it up the three steps to the garage and I found him all shriveled up at the end of a winter.  Miss that little guy.

It would seem I only have a talent for snapping pictures of critters or plants too slow or stupid to beat feet when I am near.  I really like plants, they sit still for the most part.

So, its the slow, numb, and dumb I am able to chronicle.  And  and that's just fine. 

Remember, Life may be better under a Sunsetter

On the other hand, Life is worse in a hearse.

Tuesday, July 16, 2019

At the Dentist

I did not get a cavity until I was in college.  And when I went to the dentist, he was awed by the fact it was a baby tooth with the cavity.  I still had several I had not lost yet.  Last one fell out when I was in my mid twenties.

So, knowing I had tough teeth, I spent these many years testing them with neglect, tortuous use, and generally poor stewardship.

In recent months I began a dental restoration project.  On a bimonthly schedule, each visit brings me closer to the teeth I used to know but are now but flitting memories. Nothing can be done to bring back that glittering Hollywood smile I had at some brief moment in time back when I was a punk.  Dr Sloan assures me though, another solid set of chompers is more than possible.

The punishment I have put my molars and company through the years has been sad.  But all of them hung in there and gave me very little trouble but for a crack here or there, a chip after too many bottle openings, manic ice chewing, and some wear due to night time teeth grinding.  Add in the spotty dental hygiene and the few and far between Dental visits, and its a wonder they are not all junk.

Another one of the unsung and unnoticed pluses in my life, my great teeth were taken for granted.  And while I have few regrets, the mistreatment of my dental buddies is certainly one of them.

Later ........................................

The Billy Graham Rule

Another Evangelical running for office has invoked "the Billy Graham rule".  Robert Foster, a Republican running for governor in Mississippi, has declined a female reporter's suggestion she go for a ride along with him as he campaigns across the state because of a promise to his wife that he would never be alone with another woman.  If the female reporter brings a male escort, he would cheerfully accommodate her.

Vice President Pence invoked the same rule a few years ago.  It was a bogus gesture then, and continues to be again.  Both Pence and this upstart Foster give the impression of piety in front of the flock.  And that is fine and may indeed play well in Mississippi.  But with the morality platform of the Christian Right now flushed down the toilet when they embraced Trump, well, Foster’s token gesture for the media comes off as laughable as anything Trump has done.

Piety it appears is something malleable and fluid when a Right Wing Thumper utilizes it.  They wear it when in public like Joseph wore his Amazing Technicolor Dream Coat. 

Keep it ‘tween the ditches ……………………………………..

And BTW - I hear the musical "Joseph and his Amazing Technicolor Dream Coat is quite popular among Christians of all shapes.  I wonder though how the "rainbow" motif used in some shows goes over with the stiff backed Old Testament types.

Monday, July 15, 2019

Self Absorption

It is true for me anyway.  I always miss something as soon as it is gone.  Missing, whether god or bad, the pessimistic contrary retro grouch part of me worries that any change in my life, even a temporary pain the ass moment, will be hard to deal with.

My five year old computer has never given me any trouble.  Finally last week, an evil electronic trespasser entered without permission and messed with my stuff.  Well entrenched, they started partying like there was no tomorrow. Pop-up ad festivals combined with arbitrary illogical Malware notifications from outfits I did not know began clogging the gulliwots of my computer.

I had reached the limit of my computing knowledge.  Running defrag operations, rifling helplessly through the help files and unplugging were not going to work this time.  My sorry quiver of band aids,cold compresses, and aspirin let me down.

A specialist was called.  I disconnected the tower and set it on the front porch.  Tteddo came by and picked it up.  Tteddo always set me straight.

As I waited impatiently for my computer, I was reduced to suffer the agony of writing this on my phone.  All the while pissin and moaning about how my Life sucks right now.


Actually, after that first effort to wallow in self pity, I smiled and thought about how I had become that which I ridiculed and laughed at 24/7, a self absorbed American.  Which of course is what I am. At least I know one when I see one.

So, while the computer underwent some serious cleansing, I shifted my self absorption to other modes of self aggrandizement.  No umbrella needed.  I calmed myself with a scotch on the rocks, a couple of pulls of Maine's finest doob and wait for Tteddo to deliver.  Soon it did not not matter.  Nothing did.

Later ...................

Sunday, July 14, 2019

The Book of Trump

I thought all we had to worry about on the religion front was some evangelical Christians wanting to anoint Trump as their savior from the clutches of Satan.

But then along comes Miriam Adelson, a billionaire Jewish philanthropist, who wants to add "The Book of Trump" to the Bible.  I assume she would like it added to "The Old Testament", in that the Christians co-opted that book from the Jewish "Tankh".  She and her casino owning husband are all about Jewish this and Jewish that.  They do not understand why the average Jew hates Trump.

Trump has definitely made the Adelsons happy.  He gave Miriam a Presidential Medal of Freedom. And just to add the final cherry, a few weeks later he moved the US embassy in Israel for them and then topped it off by recognizing Jerusalem as Israel's capitol.  The reasons were standard Trump globity gook.  I suspect the real reason was the Adelsons gave him $25 million for his campaign in 2016.

Miriam's husband is Sheldon Adelson, the billionaire owner of the The Sands casino in Las Vegas.  He and his wife have donated more than any other Republican donor over the last two elections.  They gave Trump $25 million for his campaign ion 2016.

The Adelsons are the perfect owners for Trump.  A match made in Heaven. .......... UH, well, maybe not in Heaven.  Probably some smoky backroom in Vegas.

Keep it 'tween the ditches ......................................................

Cutting the Cord

Pipe Tobacco, a blogging buddy of more than a few years, asked me to write about my experience "cutting the cord".  That is, what has it been like to drop Cable?

I cut our monthly media bill from $230 / month with Direct TV down to just under $100 / month using a mish-mash of streaming channels, Sling TV, Neflix, Amazon Prime, and whatever stuff comes with Roku.  I picked Roku because, well, it was supposed to be easy to hook up.  And indeed, it was.  It seems to work fine as long as we are using Wi-Fi units that are in good working order.  Changing out that last one made the kitchen TV perk right up.

I am now trying to come up with the best antenna system for local TV reception.   I placed puny single TV antennas on each TV.  Depending on location, we pull in from 8 to 19 channels. I want to bring them all under one antenna so they all pull the same.  A central antenna in the attic is what I am going to try next.  But that's for later.

The package we had with Direct TV was somewhere near the top packages offered;  260 plus channels or some nonsense like that.  Problem was, a good 25% of them were infomercial channels and another 10% were religious or political in nature. And the unwanted channels were sprinkled in among the rest so we had to constantly skip all the dead weight to find the channels we wanted.  Cable cutting has definitely made surfing easier. Well, channel surfing being easier might be overstating some.  It is different and I don't have to deal with channels I know offer me nothing.

The learning curves apparently are not over yet even after having been cable free for a month now.

Each streaming service has its own idiosyncrasies that make navigating, saving, and watching enough different that some irritating rules can frustrate in minor ways.  I am still smoothing out my awkward remote use.

Streaming can be sometimes frustrating when right as the climax of that awesome murder mystery goes into full bore shoot everyone dead action, the evil circling the drain icon stops everything as the machine reboots the stream.  That problem led to my first lesson.  Have good Wi-Fi performance or hard wire each TV into the Internet.

Switching between offerings like from Antenna to SlingTV , then over to Netflix uses more remote muscles.  So if you are weak wristed or have a serious problem focusing, maybe cord cutting is not for you.  It does require more effort to use it. But it isn't like going from a riding mower to a push mower.  Still easy peasy, sit on your ass and switch those channels to your heart's delight.

Overall, I am not looking back and missing Cable.

Later ............................................................

Saturday, July 13, 2019

Don't Mow Til the Black Eyed Susans Come

I had written up an elaborate tale filled with near death escapes and being snatched and whisked away to another dimension.  All in an effort to get around the fact that what is really to blame is I had  become less than a slug, lower than a sponge clinging to a reef, but just above a comatose sloth.

It was just three or so days ago I took off the snowblower and attached the mower deck.

I know.  I know.  I have heard it all before.  I have rationalized it all before.  The fact is   I just hate mowing grass.

This year's excuse was,

"I don't want to mow until the Black Eyed Susans come."

My wife just rolled her eyes.  But you know what, I'm gonna go with it.  The picture tells me I'm right.  Besides, I want a new cover photo for FB.

Keep it 'Tween the Ditches ................................................

Sunday, July 07, 2019

Wi-Fi Mania

Okay, I stepped completely out of my comfort zone awhile ago. I entered this "no dimwits allowed" zone knowing I own an overall success rate that is mixed at best, with the big money usually betting  I will be leaving, tail tucked between my legs, sucking up what little machismo I have left and asking, yeah that's right, asking a girl to help me out. 

Girls have always been the bane of my existence.  From the first one who successfully made me eat dirt in grade school to the one I live with now.  All of them over time, have proven they are every bit as much of a man as I am and may actually be carting around a bigger set of maracas.  I learned early to respect their gender.  

Well, this time I was bound and determined to not let setting up a new Wi-Fi gizmo force me into a fetal position while crying for my mama.  It was close.  It was maddening.  It was not something I would want to do again tomorrow.  But I did it.  And I survived.  Best of all, I did not have to plead for help and suffer the look my wife has ever ready to throw in my direction when I act like a helpless male and whine like a little girl boy.

I never guessed Wi-Fi gizmos wore out, but apparently they do.  I did notice the one in my office was not as strong as the one in BA's office.  Seemed its range was only around 20-25 ft.  It really became an issue when we decided to cut the TV cable cord.  The TV in the kitchen was just not streaming steady.  We were getting the circle the drain icon way too often and then the streaming would cease.

I looked up solutions online and found some that needed the disk that came with the Wi-Fi to run a diagnostic.  Like I know where the disk is for this WiFi gadget.  We bought it 10 years ago.  That's two or three computers ago.

Anyway, I lost an hour I will never get back bulling my way to success.  And in my world, an hour lost to a computer snafu is chump change.

Later .................................................................

Saturday, July 06, 2019

Not Everyone Believes the Holocaust Happened

An email sent by the principal of Spanish River High in Florida told a mother who was asking about the curriculum for teaching the Holocaust, 

He followed up later with,  "I can’t say the Holocaust is a factual, historical event because I am not in a position to do so as a school district employee."  He also added that he felt the same about slavery.

He later claimed the emails (note the plural signifying multitiple emails) were hastily written and not very well thought out.  The local school district did not respond to further inquiries by Yahoo.

I am told by the Left that I am supposed to be sensitive and accommodating to those folks of different views on Life.  I am told by many on the Right that facts do not matter.  There are always alternative facts.

Have we gone mad?  Have we decided to collectively take a stupid pill and deny the parts of Reality we do not like?  Sure looks like it to me.

Accommodating stupidity is not something I am at all comfortable with.

Which brings me to my daily whine - Evangelical Christians.  Nobody knows how to warp the truth and re-wrap it into a newer and better Truth than Evangelicals.  Religious zealotry makes it easy.

In an article in The Atlantic titled "The Deepening Crisis in Evangelical Christianity" , Peter Wehner starts off with a quote from Ralph Reed, Faith and Freedom Coalition founder and chairman that reasserts what we heathens are still shaking our heads over. 

"There has never been anyone who has defended us and who has fought for us, who we have loved more than Donald J. Trump. No one!'

The article continues with some of the excuses the Evangelicals are using to cover up and justify their hypocrisy.  Jerry Falwell Jr, a well established Evangelical apple who never even left the Jesus tree said, 

"Conservatives & Christians need to stop electing ‘nice guys.’ They might make great Christian leaders but the United States needs street fighters like @realDonaldTrump at every level of government b/c the liberal fascists Dems are playing for keeps & many Repub leaders are a bunch of wimps!"

Never mind that his reference to Dems as fascists is wrong on so many levels and using commie or socialist would be a better fit, it is obvious that of all the enemies the Evangelicals have to pick from, they consider Liberalism to be the new scourge out to destroy Christianity and allow Satan to rule us as he will.  

Take a moment to consider what that means.  North Korea, Vladimir Putin, Muslim backed terrorism, and even those evil Canadians take a back seat to Liberals in the Christian quiver of things to be afraid of.  Again, Wow!

After a fine synopsis of the current political trend in Evangelical Christianity, Peter Wehner then opens up regarding his own heart felt Christian views and discusses how this trend is doing more damage than good for the Christian movement.  Sacrificing their ethical and moral base for short term political gain will only hurt them in the end.  He reaches out to Karel Coppock, a pastor in the state of Washington who was integral in his "Christian Pilgrimage".  Karel tells him this stunt the Evangelicals are pulling is driving away a whole generation of potential Christians.  

"We’re losing an entire generation. They’re just gone. It’s one of the worst things to happen to the Church."

His concern dovetails nicely with my notion that the leaders in the Christianity network here in the States are shooting themselves in the foot and causing harm to their movement for years to come.  And all because the movement has become a one trick pony concerned not with overall Christian values but centered only on Pro Life and the political power to defeat the evil abortionists.  Their notion that Life is only important while it gestates in the womb really negates all the possibility of good they could be doing by not inserting themselves into the world of politics.  Just look to the Muslim world for how wrong it is for religion and politics to mix.

And people wonder why I hate organized religion.  Organized religion is where taking stupid pills on a weekly basis is not only not frowned upon, but advocated.  

Keep it 'tween the ditches ................................................................

Friday, July 05, 2019

Who Cares About History?

Don't laugh, but I caught a small part of Trump's teleprompted in his best monotone 4th of July speech a few minutes ago.  Now we all know the Donald is not a student of history.  And I guess it was too much to expect that he had at least one history buff on his staff of idiots.  Somehow missing the final edit was a series of monumental and grade school "oops my bad's" in less than 100 words.

He starts off okay I guess with some jumbled background on the Revolution.  It quickly goes sideways when he tells us the Continental Army took over the airports and they stormed the ramparts of Ft. McHenry and under the rockets red glare, were victorious over the British.

Never mind the "airport" remark.  After all, electricity had been recently discovered.  Could airplanes be far behind? I am sure the speech writers thought is was not only possible but probable.  Who needs to fact check when you are part of the greatest Administration in history?  Right?

Airports aside, the big sticking point I have is this wrong war thing.  Fort McHenry was not built until the late 1790's, and the rocket's red glare Francis Scott Key wrote about as he lounged deckside on the HMS Minden and watched Fort McHenery take a shellacking all happened on September 3, 1814.

Ft. McHenry was the war of 1812, not the Revolution.  It was also a war we did not win.  The British handed us our asses in a hand basket.  Matter of fact, Francis Scott Key witnessed the bombarding from the deck of a British ship that was sailing under a flag of truce to meet with the British for an exchange of prisoners.  The British had already sacked and burned Washington and were enjoying crumpets and tea I assume while laughing at this upstart country who decided they could take on the Wanker Bullies.  At least they went back to England knowing they had been in a fight.

What bothers me the most about our leaders showing such disrespect for our history is that they are supposed to be the smartest of our populace.  The tip of the ice berg so to speak.  Pitiful, just pitiful.

Later .....................................................

An afterword

Blog Fodder has pointed out that the US did indeed win the War of 1812.  I disagree.  But I will agree that it may be considered a wash.  Life returned basically to where it was before the war.   The successful invasion and then withdrawal of British soldiers is my barometer for deciding this war was lost by the US.  Though I do agree, our ability to stand up again to the British instilled some pride and carried us forward for many years.

Thursday, July 04, 2019

Allowing the Right to Define Patriotism

Our local NBC TV affiliate asked a poll question regarding the level of patriotism I have for this country.  It was possible to answer one of 3 ways, extremely proud, moderately proud, and not proud at all.

First of all I don't do the patriotism gig.  Its a trap others use to relegate other folks into convenient pigeon holes of their own designs. 

Once placed into a convenient cubbyhole, we are then judged based not on how we feel about this country, but how others think we feel about this country.  Besides, I do not give a rat's ass about what others think of my patriotism. I am not on this planet to live up to anyone's notion of patriotism.

I did find it interesting that broken down to party, 76% of the Republicans polled indicated they were extremely proud of their country at the moment.  I find this disturbing on so many levels considering who we have squatting in the White House at the moment.

Keep it 'tween the ditches

Thursday, March 21, 2019

Looking Forward

Okay.  So I recently mentioned I was going to refrain from political posts as much as possible.  And I am planning on doing that.  Today's post is an indicator of what "as much as possible" means.  I made the rules here, I will manipulate them anyway I want.   So yeah, take that, Guilt Guy, who exists inside my brain cavity there in the back next to Mr Regret.

I long ago established that I am comfortable politically inhabiting the Left side of the aisle.  My range will change some, but I am more of a home body who likes to think of Home sitting next to the tracks on one side or the other.  And over the years I have consistently favored the Shack on the Left over the one on the Right.

I like knowing the Middle is usually where things end up.  Not getting sucked into the extreme claims of the folks who exist on either cliff side is a number one goal for myself.  I have learned to hear the wackos out, but never trust them.

Having been raised to be a Republican, my change of heart came after living through the 1950s, 1960s and 1970s.  America was finally realizing Life in the States was not some Leave it to Beaver TV script.  There was just too much wrong in the country and it seemed the Right was consistently on the wrong side of those wrongs.  Their politics were and still are to some degree an effort to resist the Future from taking over their perception of their Past.  The Left, on the other hand, seems destined to always be looking to take on the Future and screw the Past.  I liked that when I was 18 and I like it even more now.

The reason I feel looking forward and evolving is better than holding onto crumbs from the Past is, if we are constantly looking for ways to improve, there is a better chance of actually doing it than sitting on our hands and telling ourselves, "Life is Perfect".

We live in/on a world that has done only one thing consistently.  The one constant our world and we share is change.  Nothing stays static.  Nothing.  And it only makes sense we all work to meet and hopefully control that change as much as possible.  Looking to the Past as the Right seems determined to do only ensures we will get bushwhacked.

Later ..............................................................

Tuesday, March 19, 2019

Drunk and Disorderly

Many minutes ago my wife told me I had had enough whiskey, beer, and wine.  Not sure what gave me up.  I was not slurring my words, though I wanted to.  My eyes had not crossed yet, and my motor skills were still within acceptable limits.  Regardless, she knew more than I did and told me so.  So I stopped drinking with the exception of this last glass of wine to round out the evening's libations.

So she told me to stop drinking.  Okay dear, whatever you say.  I notice though you did not say anything about the doob, wondrous weed that has been part and parcel of my life since 1966, or was it 1964?  I cannot remember.

Regardless, I twisted up a couple of joints of Pineapple Kush like it was going to be possible to suck down both.  I sat back full of optimism but only managed two or three hits before I had to stop.  Damn good weed, that Kush is, Dude.  Especially on top of a couple of beers, six or seven shots of Scotch, and a couple glasses of very tasty red wine.  Feeling no pain comes to mind.

There is a good reason I decided to tie one on tonight.  Okay, yeah, so it may not be a good reason, but it is a reason.  Not like I needed a reason.  Been a couple of years since my last mini bender.

I had to put down Eyeleen earlier today.  She had her run. It was beyond sanity to try and keep her alive any longer. 

Eyeleen was one of a multitude of kittens born in our closets we had loaned out to the Kennebunk Animal Shelter roughly 16 years ago.  She was one of the losers.  She had a bad eye and a bad attitude.  So we kept her cuz that's what we do here at Acton Up.

So here I am, hammered, stoned and missing a damn cat that was a tough cat to love.  She had some real bad habits.  But I could always get her to purr no matter what madness she had just been involved in.  I guess when a life shares 16 years of my life, I oughta pay them enough respect to at least toss back a toast or two.  Of course, I never could just toss a toast or two without following up with more toast tosses, often ending up with me on the floor under the dining room table, or incarcerated for the night. 

Damn, its been 41 years since I last saw the inside of a jail.  Pretty good run considering the dark predictions of my future behavior back in the day. Yeah, I grew up as the neighborhood "Bad Influence", bent on wrecking the fragile hold my peers had on Christian Morality.  I never felt like the bad influence, but I sucked it up and let the weight fall on my shoulders.  I knew the truth and so did those who broke those rules with me. 

Someone had to be the chump.  I was perfect.  I wouldn't be around long anyway.  I never was.  A year here, a year there , growing up always the "New Kid".  The easy mark.  Its those new folks from away with their loose morals and Heathen ways.  That's right, I was born to be blamed for leading their good kids astray. 

That was so long ago I am surprised those memories cut through the fog with such sharp edges. Though, in the long run, the experience was not an insignificant ordeal.  It left its mark on me.  Any pain I felt then long gone, fashioned now with fond memories and rose colored glasses.  And that's fine.  Remembering with a grin beats reliving a moment long gone with a tear in the eye.

R.I.P. Eyeleen.  May the next world you pass through be kinder. ...................................

Friday, March 01, 2019


Recently I have been exposed to new and wonderful cover songs of the music I passed the last 66 years with.  So many covers, it is impossible for me to remember them all.  And here I thought Rock/Popmusic had turned to shit.  .........................  Okay, even back in the day, most of Rock/Pop Music was garbage.  No different than today I guess.

Regardless, the excellent cover tunes I have heard recently indicate the talent is out there, the bands just need the right tunes to shine.  The YouTube video below is by a Spanish Metal band - Ankor.  It is very good and does "Bohemian Rhapsody" Justice.


Bohemian Rhapsody Cover

Tuesday, February 26, 2019

Crum's Law of Following Dogs

So, this past weekend we baby sat Lis and Mike's pets while they did who knows what down in the Philly Area.  While the experience has many cute pet tales to tell, it was an observation I made concerning removing dogs from my path when there was more than one.

After exhaustive study for 4 days I have determined ..... "It is 3 times harder to move 2 dogs out of one's way than it is to move one dog out of one's way."

Often when asked to move, they will look confused, wag their tales and in a default move, sniff each other's butt.  It is like they are saying, "I see your lips flappin, but I don't know what you mean."

Though these loyal fur bearing friends mean well, they will often fail to complete requested removal and instead, take you out at the knees.   If they were cats, I would be sure they did it on purpose.  But being Dumb and Dumber canines, they just cannot help themselves.  Dogs are goofus doofuses.  And that is what makes them so endearing.

Keep it 'tween the ditches ................................................

Monday, February 25, 2019

A New Book Club

It appears our illustrious President has a more serious and reflective side.  He has decided to start a book club.  I have not seen what fine titles he would be advising us to check out.  I only have my imagination and his actions so far to predict what kind of books he would like us to delve into.

Being a busy President, who has little time to enjoy the finer things like Russian Literature, I am sure he would be pushing titles light on words and loaded with nice images for his faithful followers out there in Single Wide Land.

"The Little Engine That Could" would most assuredly enjoy a top billing as it reminds Donald of his own upbringing..  It tells the story of a little train engine that overcame insurmountable odds to become just like the big engines he envied as a child.

"Where the Wild Things Are" would certainly be included as it mirrors our President's struggles to tame the wild media animals that keep biting at his heels.

"The Phantom Tollbooth" would have to be included of course.  As the teaser states, "Complaining of boredom, Milo travels through a tollbooth to a ridiculous land where Rhyme and Reason are lost."

"Green Eggs and Ham" would finish off the first offerings as nothing tickles Trump's fancy more than something that reminds him of an Egg McMuffin.

Regardless, as I have not yet seen what books the Donald has on his list, I would hope that if these fine titles are not included, they should be.  Of course they might be a tad beyond Trump's intellectual ability.  We might have to wait for him to grow up some more before he can get his mind around the intricate plots and character studies included in these fine books.

Later ..................................................