Wednesday, November 30, 2011

A Great Man's Downfall

I think I have finally figured it out.  It had been bothering me for quite awhile.  But after stumbling upon the photo to the Right, the pieces began to fall into place.

First some background.............

He was raised to be a good Conservative in a family whose Conservative values stretched back through the years more than a few generations.  His family affluence provided him with the nurturing atmosphere of privilege and he wanted for nothing.  All that was expected of him was to go forth into the World and do his best to, as historian Gregory Schneider put it, "Defend Western civilization from the challenges of modernist culture and totalitarian governments".

He went to all the right schools, met all the right people (Conservatives of course), married, had children, and proceeded to find his place in the World.  It was determined fairly early on he had no nose for business.  What else was there for a good Conservative to put his mind to but politics.  After all, the way had been paved by his family and their years long involvement in National politics.

He started out small in a big state.  His success there impressed the movers and shakers entrusted with bringing America back to its roots of God fearing Conservatism.  They saw in him a chance to turn around 8 years of Liberal sabotage at the hands of a semi pink philanderer.  They pushed him, prodded him and through creative vote counting courtesy of his brother,  managed to place him at the helm of the USS America.  May God shed his light on thee.

So what happened?  Why, with all the pedigree, all the support, all the connections, did this once fine Conservative become a pariah in his own movement?   Instead of decreasing the size of government, he allowed it to grow.  Instead of pinching pennies and keeping the deficit under control, he invaded other countries and spent money like a good Democrat.  Oh he tried to keep up appearances by appearing somewhat dim and disconnected like many of his peers seem to love.  But something had happened behind the scenes.  Some insidious moment, some Left Wing influence, some evil from the progressive side had infiltrated his soul.

When I came upon the above photo, I figured it out.  He was seduced by one of the darker evils from the Left.   He became an avid cyclist.   He didn't just ride a bike for the positive polling a kodak moment on a bike might bring.  The man fell in love with riding a bike.  And to make matters worse, he did not stop at the almost okay anal retentive roadie stage, like so many of his peers seemed to think was acceptable.  He became a mountain biker.  A type of cycling whose roots go directly to the hippie dippy pot smoking whackoes of Marin County in California.  It is a known fact that all mountain bikers either smoke pot and think war is stupid, or they have smoked pot in the past and don't mind if others do.  Even if they support war now, at one time, they did not.  In other words, mountain bikers embody the worse kind of Liberalism - Live and let live.  They have been known to get drunk or stoned and ride naked.  They will often pull off the trail to share a doob and a clif bar.  They use terms right out of the 1960s and 70s - Dude, Stoked, Gnarly - all words of subversion, every one.

So folks and whoever else might catch this,  please find in your hearts some compassion for this man.  What he thought was but an innocent diversion and healthy activity was actually a commie conspiracy to undermine his efforts to turn back the clock to when America was greater than even it thought it was.  Forgive him his fall from grace and understand now how sneaky those Liberals really are.

Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Another Grey Morning in Maine

With so many bummer categories and incidents of human stupidity fighting for my attention, I just could not choose a single one to get pissed about this morning.  I decided I would not get pissed.  Instead I ripped and burned some music from my daughters old computer which I am using while my steroid infused electronic personal assistant is in rehab. 

My daughter used this computer during her Grad school days at UNC.   Once out of UNC, she delegated it to the parental warehouse here in Acton.  Her laptop and Ipod became her conduit to the World.  So I sit here occasionally looking out into the grey morning and listen to music I am not familar with.  I gave up trying to weed through the music for music I might like.  I just picked something, ripped it, burned it, and put off any decision regarding quality for a later date.   I have always operated on the idea that there is no such thing as bad music.  Music is either music I like or music I don't.  And even if I don't like it, I respect it enough to include it in my collection.  I never know when the urge to listen to Tammy Wynette or maybe Guy Lombardo might swing by.

Right now I am listening to Incubus.  Specifically the album "Morning View".  Very nice.  Seems to fit the greyness that has enveloped Acton, Maine this day.  But then a grey morning is always a good music day.  The right tune can make the grey go away or turn it black.  All depends what one might be looking for. 

Bright sunny days on the other hand place more specific demands on the music I pick.  I have to be in a very shitty mood to punch up Morrisey or some of his Life sucks musical brethren on a bright sunny day.  My favorite bright sunny tune ever is Delibes' ballet, "Sylvia".  Unfortuinately I do not have it on disc.  All I have are the memories of what the overture did to the hairs on my neck, to the guts inside me, to the energy source that makes me me.  It has been at least a couple of years since I placed it on the old turntable and played it.  I will have to score a good orchestral rendition on CD.

So this is my day so far.  Sitting here tuned in to music I do not know and trying to put off facing the rest of the day.  To that end, I have searched out the Overture on the Internet.  Once more, Good can still be found out there when one takes the time to look for it.


And then this..................

Sunday, November 27, 2011

The 4:00 AM Rube

I blame not really being awake yet..............Yeah that's it, I was not quite awake when the free offer of a $250 gift card floated across the Boston Herald web page.  Geez, I had not even finished my first cup of coffee.  Anyone who knows me and even those who don't, should at least assume I am less than useless without at least 2 cups of Joe in my system first thing in the morning.

When I am coherent and my brain has all two cylinders churning their normal 200 RPM's, I don't fall for those gotcha moments that lurk behind every website waiting to pounce on naive and stupid Internet travelers.  But half awake, my guard was down and when the flashing large font "You have been chosen to receive a $250 gift card from Walmart - Just fill out our short survey" page opened, almost on automatic or maybe seduced by the flashing lights and weakened financial situation I find myself in most days of the week, I punched it up.

So I just lost 30 minutes of my life answering questions and refusing to take part in the "special offers".  For a buck or less, I could lose weight, whiten my teeth, get my credit score sent to me daily, join any number of shopping clubs, get repair insurance, car insurance, life insurance, and pet insurance.  There were offers for free pet vitamins, human vitamins, and pills to keep me hard now that Life was getting soft.  For free I could sign up to replace hair where it no longer grew, remove hair where it grew now and never did before, or just get some chemical stripper that would remove hair with some kind of hygenic "scorched earth" process. 

Like a stroll down the midway of a second rate carnival, I had hawkers and snake oil salesmen assaulting me from every side.  All of them promised me a life free from drudgery, toil, and shame.  I assume the ladies would once again find me attractive, the men would stand in awe, and animals of all kinds would heel and obey once I had paid for the secret commands.

That first cup of coffee finally settled into my system.  I woke up enough to understand what was going on.  All of these free offers were only free for a short "time trial" and please give us your credit card number so that in 30 days, we can charge you umpteen dollars a month for something you didn't want or need but because you were a bonehead at 4:00 AM, we now own your sorry ass.

I quickly closed all windows and hunkered down behind the desk..................Let me know when they're gone.

Saturday, November 26, 2011

The Unsympathetic Hero

All it took was one small cough.  I felt the twinge and knew immediately I was going to.................drop to my knees.  You see I have been there, done that so many times in the last 25 years, I know better than to resist.  My only problem was I had organized the trip and marketed it to enough people that I felt obligated to go.  Besides, I had not been to a "Turkey Burner Ride" in years and I wanted to ride with my kid again.  Screw my back.  I would be okay once we started riding, right?   Riiiiight.  Sure, anything you say.

Of course, before I could ride, I had to drive for an hour and a half.  That meant an hour and a half of extreme discomfort, my legs were gonna be in pain, the knot in my back would grow to the point that once I hit the parking lot at Massabesic Lake, I would be a crumpled and twisted old fart who probably should have stayed home.  Yeah right.  The number of rides I have left is growing shorter.  So screw my back, I'm going for a ride.

This was the 17th Annual Turkey Burner Ride sponsored by a tight knit cycling group called FOMBA (Friends Of Massabesic Bicycling Association).  For 17 years they have had this event the day after Thanksgiving.  I have seen as many as 700 people there and as few as a couple of hundred.  But rain or shine, they still show up.  It is a pay to play event with the money going to a local Rescue Squad.  

The first eight or so miles was rolling flat double track with some connecting pavement.  I was doing fine.  Then the group of four I was with landed at the Hot Chocolate Stop.Two hundred yards down the road was the  split where the Heroes went right to taste 15 miles of single track and the regular folk went left to finish back at the parking lot.  Sadly, I had brought heroes with me.  They went right.  Having ridden the single track there before when I used to be heroic, I knew I was in for it.  I was not disappointed.

My situation was not helped by the fact that on the day previous, Thanksgiving, I imbibed in more beer than I am used to, ate more sweets than I am used to, and stuffed food of the Thanksgiving kind down my throat like there was no tomorrow.  So with an extremely sour stomach, achie head, and a back that was in a constant state of spasm, I entered the single track.

It got interesting right out of the gate.  The trail was called the Long Trail.  I assumed that it was so named because it never did end.   Okay, yeah it ended, but it seemed like it took a life time to unfold.  And while it was unfolding, I managed to use body english to my dis-advantage.  Every technical spot I would un-weight one wheel or the other, twist this way and, ouch dammit, twist that way until finally back close to where we began this torture I was ready to have someone dig a hole, kick me into it, and maybe cover me with dirt.  It wouldn't matter, I would not have noticed either way.

We had our pants full about 17 miles into the total of 27 miles available that day.  I hung in and managed to finish with a smile on my face.  As I was wolfing down an excellent roast beef sub at some deli somewhere close to our departure point, I realized a painful day in the woods on my bike beat a painful day on the couch, hands down.  And I had the opportunity to spin my wheels along side of my daughter's wheels.  That alone made whatever discomfort I endured well worth the trip.

Keep it 'tween the ditches.................................................

Friday, November 25, 2011

Send in the Clowns

Seems I missed some excitement.  My NewsMax feed filled me in on what has been happening during the last 24 hour news cycle.

~Obama Man "forgot" to thank God in his weekly radio address devoted this week to Thanksgiving.  The conservative tweeters are all a flutter.   More proof he really is a Muslim born in Kenya.  Everyone knows those Muslims are Godless losers who really worship at Satan's feet.

~ Michelle Bachmann demanded and received an apology from NBC for being insulted as she stepped onto the stage of the Jimmy Fallon Show.  Apparently the Godless band played a few bars of Fishbone's "Lyin Ass Bitch" as she walked on stage......................Hmm..................Yeah it was tasteless and all, but if anyone owes anyone an apology, the people of Minnesota owe this nation an apology for electing her in the first place.   Her public record however does indicate the song was more of a tribute than a slight.

~The most recent dimwit from Texas, Gov. Perry, is insisting Leon Panetta should resign as Sec/Def in protest over the automatic 500 billion dollar cut in Defense that will go down because the Congressional Stupid Super Committee failed to do it's job and suddenly the cuts that Congress set up will go on automatic.  But according to Perry it is Obama's fault.  Perry's light burns brighter everyday as the vacuum in his head increases. 

Actually, I guess I did not miss much in the last 24 hour news cycle.  Just more of the same clowns doing what they do to entertain us. 


Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Thanksgiving Eve

It is the day before Thanksgiving.  I would call it Thanksgiving Eve, but for some reason we only allow ourselves two Eves, Christmas and New Years.  Regardless, it is the day before Thanksgiving and I sit here in front of  a replacemnet computer we had in a box.  My recently beefed up, tweaked and highly tuned monster computer pulled a hamstring and is on the inactive list until the team doctor looks it over.  So much for more power.

It is 4:20 AM.  Snow is beginning to stack up some outside.  They were calling for 4 to 8 inches in our area and well, after the last fiasco of getting 20 inches when only 8 inches were predicted, I am not going to be optimistic they got it right this time either.  Any hope this very odd warm Fall is going to continue much longer fades with each new inch on the ground.

My daughter came home for Thanksgiving.  Instead of our usual 3 person quiet family get together, we will be walking down Sam Page to Brendan and Susan's place.  Along with 15 other people, we will sample dishes from all over the neighborhood.  We were told to bring appetizer and dessert.  I voted for cheesy bars.  Bobbi shot me a look.  She had other plans.  As I am not expected to help make anything, I was not expected to even voice an opinion.  I scooted back to my man cave and let her alone.

It is now 10:30 or so AM.  I have successfully removed my second snow pile of the season from the driveway.  Thankfully the repairs I made to the snow blower at the end of last year seem to be working out.  The machine is a beast once again.  Only 7 inches this time.  So I guess for the 2011/2012 snow season the local meteoroligists are batting 500.

If nothing else, try to forget the madness going on out there and have a gut busting pleasant Turkey Day.

Keep it 'tween the ditches........................................................

Monday, November 21, 2011

United in Disgust

I have been attempting to keep my mouth shut about the OWS phenomenon.  As many people are, I am somewhat confused about their specific objectives.  I am guessing they have some, but apparently with the "movement" scattered all over the nation with no clear leader at the head, objectives can be regional gripes that have nothing to do with Wall Street, but more about the final straw closing of the last Widget factory that packed up it's stuff and moved to Asia.

I am a strong supporter of civil unrest when it is warranted.  Rioting just to riot like after your favorite team won or lost is stupid and I have no sympathy for some drunk who gets his head bashed in after torching someone's Dodge Pick up.  But activities like OWS intrigue me.  Along with the recent rise of the Tea Party, we now have two political populations who have decided that this country is not the place they either remember or they do not like the direction it is headed.  In that respect, the two, the Tea Party and OWS, are untied by a shared disgust with the status quo.

The age old boys club that has ruled as one but pretended to be from two different neighborhoods is extremely nervous.  This makes me smile.  This makes me grin.  To use a tired word coined and almost ruined, the Establishment is being assaulted.  This time not from the just the Left, but from the Right as well.  Both sides have legitimate gripes once one takes the time to weed out the bullshit slogans, soundbites, and fictions fabricated and pushed as truth.  The Power structure made up of government and the private sector should be on everyone's shit list.  Between the two of them they tossed leadership out in favor of pocket lining or securing a stranglehold on the reins of government.  Instead of leading us, they have been bleeding us and now they are being shoved into the light of day from both sides...............About time.


Saturday, November 19, 2011

Dave's House

So I was checking some pictures I snapped of my friend Dave B's dooryard.  Every hunting season, his barn is the barn all the cool locals use to hang their kills prior to hitting the butcher shop to be turned into edible chunks of this or that.   This year so far I have counted at least 6 deer, one huge moose, and Water District Dave told me he saw a bear hanging there for a day.  Everyone wants to hang their game at Dave B's.

I like Dave.  He lets my circle of riding friends use his property to access the trails off the railroad bed out behind his place.  Off and on I have tried to get him into riding bikes, but well, it ain't happening.  Dave likes to putz around his yard making sure it is well kept, planting huge gardens and of course hanging as many deer as possible during hunting season.  Once in awhile I see him strolling up or down Main Street with his significant other.  Nice folks, just not into cycling.

I took a few quick shots of the couple of small bucks hanging from the trapeze contraption he has hanging from his hay bale lift.  They all came out my usual a tad out of focus, but good enough to make any point I wanted to about Dave, the hip local hunters and life in my small parcel of Maine during November of any year you would care to check.

 While deciding which image to head my post about Dave and his deer hanging dooryard, I noticed in  the small window next to the barn door, this moose skull staring out towards Main St.  I copied the image, cropped it, and what you see at the top was the result.

I am never sure what draws me to some images over others.  This one grabbed me for several reasons.  The out plumb variety of lines, the rough texture of being slightly out of focus combined with the old barn wood and window.  Or maybe it was shape of the skull behind the grid which was wrapped in a contrasting border that interrupted out of plumb verticals.  Whatever.  I just liked how it turned out.  I am sure in the scheme of artistic effort, it rates somewhere between Ho and Hum.  I say this because  I showed it to Keith when he swung by the bike shop and he said something like, "Cool".  It was a lukewarm "Cool".

Once I decided I liked it I had to play with it.  Soon I had 5 or 6 copies of it in various shades, light treatment, shadowed hard, or saturated with colors to bring out whatever other cool looks I could drag out of it.  After all my dubbing around with it I think I like the original and the sepia one to the left best..

I most likely  have used up about all the interest you might have regarding this kodak moment.  I figure I ought to close by treating you to the original image I cropped it out of.  So enjoy or not.  If nothing else, it is a small piece of the reality I live with here in southern Maine.  Some things are timeless - Hunting Season in Maine is one of them.

Friday, November 18, 2011

Sugar Plum Fairies, Flags & the Last Commie

The Sugar Plum Fairy of St. Charles, Missouri has been fired.  It's comical on one hand and a sad statement on the other about how tight folks' butts are getting in some parts of this nation.  Add in the recent refusal of a bakery to bake a wedding cake for a lesbian couple tying the knot and I  wonder if we are not slipping back into the "Good Ole Days" like so many folks seem to want.  The good ole days that also had hidden in the shadows, the bad ole days.  Apparently from the two stories, some want them included as well.

Then I read that viewing the US flag can cause one to vote Republican.  I have been wondering what the cause was.  I knew it had to be something simple and direct. So I stared at one for an hour.  Seems a change has come over me............................

I punched up a profile of Canada put together by the BBC.  Maybe it was my computer, but all I got was a blank page.  I don't think it was my computer.  BBC obviously has nothing to say about Canada.  Even after reinstalling the Queen as the head of their country, Canada still can't get any respect from the Brits.  It's understandable they get no respect from the US.  They're our next door neighbors.  At least they ain't rowdy and out of control like our neighbors to south are.  But man are they boring.  Booooooooring.  No riots.  No drug killings.  Just a bunch of ice drivin, tree choppin oil drillin hockey watchin fools who like better beer than we do.

I did not punch up the BBC profile of the US.  Now that I have stared the flag down and become a good American and all, I knew anything some wannabe Euro trash media outfit might come up with would be a pack of lies and innuendos.  After all, their own history books tell the story of the revolution all wrong.  We kicked their wanker butts and some clown with a Sir in front of his name tries to tell me King George lll had other fish to fry and finally just got tired of us "Colonists".  Yeah right.  Then he goes on to compare England's handling of "the Colonies" to our commie ass kickin crusade in Viet Nam.   Shoot.  Where does he come up with this crap?  We kicked butt in 1776 and again in 1966.  As long as more of them die than us, then we win.  Right?

I noticed the last Munchkin died.  Though I finally grew up to be a burly bad ass American male who had to fight the chicks off with a stick, when I was wee small the Munchkins gave me nightmares.  Maybe it was their outfits, their smaller than normal stature, but I think it was their swarming ways and funny voices.  Like some surrealistic minature lynch mob all dressed the same, they would surround me and ..........anyway, I figured out why they made me nervous.  I think they were all actually commie plants.  As evidence, the last Munchkin was not born here.  He was from Ucrania, Slavickastan, one of those hammer and sickle countries over there on one side of Europe or the other. Pink as the day he was born.

Maybe now I can sleep at night.

Not sure where this came from.  But stare at the Stars & Stripes for an hour without blinking and see what it does to you.

Thursday, November 17, 2011


I have recently attempted to re-immerse myself into the Blogging World.  Now that winter is closing in and my shop has slowed to a crawl, I find my mind has dumped much of the business related concerns and stress.  This has left a hole.  Left an opportunity to work what's left of my mind on other pursuits.

So I have begun to reacquaint myself with many of my old blogging friends  and locate a few new blogs I will visit again in the future.  One thing I have noticed after being MIA most of this year is how much slicker and hip many of the blogs I visit have become.  The contrast is stark when I always come back to this humble and dusty place I call "Lost in the BoZone".  Well with the exception of Randal's blog.  His is as dusty and retro grouch as mine is.

As I stated in my last post "Retro-Grouching", I hate change as a rule.  I have learned to almost accept change I have no control over.  But where I dig my heels in is change where I can have an impact in keeping it at bay.  My life is riddled with events and phases where I carried the "Fight Change" banner to levels of useless, just being contrary to be contrary heights of stupidity.   My dad always contended that calling someone "hardheaded" was just a nice way of calling them a moron.  He refused to call me hardheaded.  It was moron or nothing.

So I recognize the issue of being out of the current blog fashion loop.  And yeah, my blog could use some gusseying up.  But if I am gonna change anything here, I will have to go through a period of agony first.  What ifs, what mights, and is it even worth the trouble type anguishing.    When I have satisfactorily worn out  all the what might be's, I will enter the phase of "forget it and hope the urge goes away".  Or maybe it should be called the "if I don't think about it, it doesn't exist" phase.

If the issue or supposed improvement is important enough for a variety of or even a single reason, it will refuse to let me forget it.  It will nibble at my coattails, rub back and forth between my legs, or maybe toss a claw filled paw at some dainty body part.  Even ole dogs and hard headed fools will take notice if it's painful.

Knowing my tendency to fight change just for shits and giggles and also knowing that eventually I will cave once I have absorbed enough self loathing and critical self recrimination, why don't I save myself and the World at large a lot of trouble by just jumping on board right out of the gate?

I have thought about this and well, altering a life long habit would entail ....yeah that's right, it would mean change.  Hmmm.  Think I'll forget about it and hope it goes away.

Keep it "tween the ditches....................................

If you got this far only after reading the above post, then you realize the image has nothing at all to do with the written words.  I thought I'd throw Randal a bone, er, or maybe create one for him.

Wednesday, November 16, 2011


So I don't like change. A lot of us don't like change. Even though we all know change happens, many of us still resist. Some even go so far as to wish the past back in our lives.  

Lacrosse Sticks - I am still pissed they got rid of the all wooden lacrosse stick. The transition happened back when I was playing the sport in college. All of a sudden the pain I was inflicting on opposing players was cut in half when they forced us to use the wimpy flexible plastic cradle. My favorite check was immediately rendered null and void.  

Bicycle Technology - There are entirely too many "innovations" for me to rant about. Suffice it to say I still contend many were useless lily gilders while a very few truly enhanced the cycling experience.  

The DH in Baseball - I don't care if it has made baseball more exciting for some, it rubs me the wrong way. I have no respect for players whose only claim to fame is being a DH.  

GPS devices in cars - If you are going on a trip, know in advance the route to take. And yeah, sometimes getting lost can be fun too. A friend loaned me his TomTom once for a trip south. I punched in my destination. The gizmo did what it did and planned my route. I then proceeded to go the way I had been for years anyway. I loved hearing it complain followed by, "Recalculating, recalculating" until it had figured out a new alternative route based on the turn I just missed or made that was not part of the original or new program. I even took one detour out of my way just to really piss it off.  

Electronic locking doors and windows - I know at some point I will have to own a vehicle with these devilish devices, but so far I have never owned a vehicle with them. There's a satisfaction I cannot describe when I manually lower or raise my own window, or use a real key to unlock the door to my pick up.

Which brings me to this Blog, computers in general, and the speed at which our culture is forced to embrace change before we got used to the last change.

Blogger has been in my face about trying out it's "new format".  Blogger is never really in your face, but they are quietly insistent.  So rather than grouse about it before the fact like I always do when being force fed change, I switched yesterday.  Besides the whole look changing, toolbars gone missing or moved, and way more choices than I will ever use, it is basically the same I guess.  Bottom line is I figured it out and will hopefully see this post successfully posted.  But I don't have to like it to use it.  So I won' it that is.  I hereby invoke the General Principles rule from my  retro-grouch bag of rules.

Why the Hell is our world in such a damn hurry?  We ain't going anywhere. 

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Post Ride Reflections - Part Deux - 200 words

Aging muscularity whines, cries, refuses to work as ordered. Minor waves of pain float in, float out, their focus on specific body parts come out of nowhere and last only long enough to leave a slight taste of their passing. Cursing the limitations age has imposed yet vehemently repudiating time and its supposed toll, he fooled himself one more time and set course for another trip down memory lane. Snubbing the soft caress of virtual travel, he just had to pound out the miles declining to admit he is not what he used to be.

Done now, he sits on a bumper, the ground, or maybe a nearby picnic table and reflects. Every physical piece and part screams at him in anger. Yet he notices that amidst their incessant complaining, his mind is crystal clear focused on this specific moment of Life and how delicious it tastes.

He looks up. Across the parking lot, across the street on the sidewalk, an old codger shuffles along with a walker. One step, two steps, stop. Push the walker forward - now repeat. The rider smiles. Being that guy may yet be in his future. But not today. Today he can still fly.

Sunday, November 13, 2011

She Punished the Hard Right Out of Him

You know the type. A bit worn around the edges from more than a few hard miles. Dresses on the trashy side and pops her gum between sentences. If you look too close early on, you might try to skip out on her. But you are a stud and you're horny. No last call wench is gonna throw you off your game. Her and her sharp curves and bony lookin spine. You've taken on tougher women than this. You showed em...........

Well stud, how'd it go anyway? You're lookin a tad worn out, used up, thrashed good and proper. Looks like you been ridden hard and put away wet.

What's that? Can't hear you. Stop mumbling ferchrisakes. Did you have your way with her or what?

Oh I see. She was a handful huh? Early on even..........what? Speak up man, you're mumbling again. Weren't expectin her to be so rough right out of the gate? Jeez dude, she's from Biddeford. Genteel ain't part of their culture. If you wanted romance first, you were in the wrong town. Shoulda stayed home.

But go on with your story once you've hacked up that second lung. I'll wait....................So you were hoping for some warm up lovin, ease into the rough stuff foolin around. And what happened, she came right at you, all up in your face twistin here rollin there, showing you dirty bits and naughty parts best left covered. And what's that about her holes? Holes you would have just as soon missed, but she insisted and well, you are a stud, so you tried to oblige. Notice I said tried bub. She's out there right now laughin at you and the puny equipment you brought with you.

Well fella, all I can say is when you go to Bid-fud, you gotta takes the brassy broad as she comes. Try to go with her flow, but for chrisakes, stay on top. She will bury you hard if you give her half a chance. And from the look on your sad sad what did I just do face, she had you down on your knees begging to be set free or at least have it be over..............Hope it was fun for a little while anyway.


I would tell you to get your mind out of the gutter, but I did take you there. These were my post ride impressions, dreamed up as I laid delirious trying to relocate my ability to move any muscle I could after being spanked hard on a trail ride today down on the coast. They may not have tall hills, but they know how to punish. It has been a long time, at least a couple of months, since I have felt this used and abused after a ride. But she left me grinning. Between cramp spasms that is.

Figured I would pull the classic stereotypical male crap and assign sexual overtones to the ride. Cuz, I gotta say sometimes there is no better way to describe a ride.

Later I hope to be present and accounted for in front of the tube to watch my Pats try to break out of their funk. I won't hold my breath. Passing out may be unavoidable.


The image of the woman with the Balitmore Doo is from "Female trouble", a movie by John Waters.

The image of the stunt rock is from the area I rode today, but not part of the trails we suffered on.

Thursday, November 10, 2011

The D Word

I was flitting around Right Wing News the other morning, trying my best to balance the objectivity or lack thereof in many of the different news sources I check on any given day. To their credit, Right Wing News is an equal opportunity basher of its a point. As long as it is a bonafide card carrying conservative type doing the bashing. I was somewhat surprised to see so much Romney bashing and not so much Cain bashing, even though there was some. The right wing is all huffy over using the politics of personal destruction with regards to the latest sensationalizing of Cain's alleged sexual misdeeds.

Their undeserved righteous indignation is one reason I have lost so much respect for the Right. After all, they are the ones who took what everyone agrees publicly is a low blow tactic and raised it to an art form back in the 1990s. Nobody uses the politics of personal destruction better than the Right. And these clowns expect me to take their shock seriously at having a newly anointed favorite son run through the same mill? Right.

Then I noticed an article written by I am guessing an in house writer for Right Wing News. "MSNBC Discusses North Carolina’s Forced Sterilization Program, Avoids mentioning The D Word". The "D" word in question is Democrat.

There was a shameful period in our history that seems to never see the light of day much. That period during the early part of the 20th century when Eugenics was all the rage. Eugenics was a popular theory that believed poverty, promiscuity, substance abuse and a host of other undesirable activities were inherited traits. And a great way to nip these bad habits in the bud was forced sterilization. 31 states dabbled in it back in the day. North Carolina was one of them.

Okay fine. Another chapter of our past we would just as soon forget. Lumped next to our treatment of Indians, Blacks, Asians during WWll, muslims now, and a host of other nasty things that come with being a country with history.

What I find amusing is the gist of William Teach's article is that he takes MSNBC to task for not including in their treatment of this, the role of the Democrats. He states, and I am guessing he is correct, that back in the early 20th century, most statehouses in the South were lead by Democrat majorities. He does his best to tie in blame to our current version of the Democratic party.

I can hear all the Winger faithful now, "Yeah, what about that you lily livered liberals. You castrated thousands, you and your better world idealists."

While Mr Teach calls MSNBC on the carpet for not including Democrats in their treatment of a bad period in our history, he himself is guilty of the same thing. If he is going to be completely fair, he should mention that the southern Democrat of yesteryear is the southern Republican of today. I know, I watched the South switch sides starting right after the Civil Rights laws were enacted, picking up steam in the 1970s and finally turning red in the 1980s. I have found mindsets tend to remain the same even when labels change. So Mr. William Teach, I would be cautious of trying to tie the modern Democrat to shit that happened decades ago when many of the people responsible most likely spawned many of the people who make up your core audience.......eugenically speaking of course.


Wednesday, November 09, 2011

The Aftermath - Vote 2011

I timed myself from the time I got out of my truck to when I returned to my pick up to continue my morning commute. It took me exactly 2 minutes, 48 seconds to vote. That included the 75 feet of walking to and from the Town Hall. I love it when I have the whole thing figured out. I don't stand in the booth with my figurative thumb up my butt wondering what the Hell, or who the Hell to vote for. Of course the list of check marks I had to make was only four, so that kept my in booth time at a minimum. But this time I went in reciting my vote for the four, "Yes, No, No, Yes." I did not even close the curtain. That might have taken a second.

Well I was pleasantly surprised that Mainers even showed up to vote in this truly off year election. And that 35% of the registered voters did show up made me proud. After all, it could have been a typical ho hummer vote. Not many people to vote for, just referendums.

We also made national news. So I guess there's that also. Seems the state GOP was accused of slipping out there for public view an attack ad that insinuated that if we voted to retain voting day registration, it would somehow allow Gay Marriage to sneak in the back door. Rachel Maddow highlighted this egregious and sleazy effort to taint the vote on an issue totally unrelated, voting rights.

I found the ad funny actually. What the Hell were they thinking? What a stupid ad to take out a few days before an election. Anyone who was scared of gays was already scared and the ad was only preaching to the choir. And anyone who was not scared of gays and might actually consider them no different from anyone else, was either going to be offended, or like me laugh their ass off. But then in recent years I have really enjoyed watching the Right or the Left shoot itself in the foot. Based on that, I thought the ad was great fun.

Both Casino questions were shot down. This surprised me. I was positive Mainers were in a weakened state and ready to grasp at the stop gap economic stimulus that gambling brings. What with so many states already pushing gambling, any that we put in place would just be diluting the available dollars. Who is going to travel 400 miles to gamble in Maine when they can take a short ride and do it in their own back yard.

The redistricting schedule referendum narrowly passed. This puzzled me. It seemed to me to be the one question with the least controversy. So once more in my life I enjoyed voting with the majority. Makes me wonder a little where I went wrong.


Tuesday, November 08, 2011

Election Day - 2011

It is election day. Not one of the important election days they try to tell me. We are not "electing" anyone other than some local yokel positions. The state wide part of the election are four questions. The first one is a referendum on a change in election law passed by the Republican majority earlier this year. Two are regarding the establishment of more casino type operations in a few locations in the state. The fourth question deals with the schedule of redistricting of our two Congressional Districts. Apparently the elected officials can change the map but they cannot change the schedule without voter approval. Seems kind of bass ackwards to me. But then most laws seem that way to me.

I am ambivalent about gambling. If people want to gamble, go for it. I just think it is a stupid activity that produces nothing but often shifts money from pockets not very deep into pockets already so deep they have no bottom. At least it is in your face money changing and not sneaky bullshit like what goes down with Wall Street type money changing.

The voting question is the one I am interested in. Seems the Republican majority in Maine's capital decided to jump on board with the national GOP and they jammed some election reform down our throats. Whining that the same day registration Maine has had for at least 4 decades was open to be taken advantage of by voter fraud. Even after the local GOP tried to dig up fraud from our past, they could only find two cases in 38 years. Of course this was enough to raise a major alarm and the result was they changed the law to force any unregistered Mainers to register at least two days before election.

Sound familiar? Of course it does. It is one of the many policies being fed through the national GOP system to their underlings at the local levels. The stated reasons are up for debate as I am convinced it is just another way to limit the vote. Republicans always do better when the turnout is lower. To support my contention, the money flowing in to defeat this recall question is coming from several of the Koch Bros favorite shell PACs.

It was floods of outside money that shot down Gay marriage in Maine. It was outside money that helped our current idiot governor to be elected. It seems that no one wants to leave us Mainers alone to decide things on our own. I am sure the same thing is happening elsewhere. Wisconsin comes to mind. Ohio, jeez, the deep pockets have their fingers in every state election. And we allow it to happen.

Whatever the result of this "not so important" election, Maine will deserve what it gets. If for no other reason than we were not paying attention.........or we were. Wonder what the turnout will be?


Sunday, November 06, 2011

Free Range Time

It is a sure thing I did it to myself. Let it eat at me and build until my destiny was fulfilled by my own dire predictions, my own negative waves.

The Time Change. Forward, back, it makes no difference. Both mess with my mind. It takes me three maybe four weeks to get my biorhythms dialed into the change. I hate the time changes so much, I bet I have some other posts about it already. Some things a man never gets tired of whining about.

My big jewel store clock on the office wall tells me it is 4:34 AM. About my normal waking time in recent months. The clock on the computer, which apparently never forgets to move the hours around when scheduled, well that damn clock is telling me it is 3:34 AM and I should still be in bed sawing Zs and catching flies. Once again, the damn government is not considering my individual needs, making excuses like it's for "the greater good". Yeah right. I know what it is. One more back door way to subjugate us and make us bend to their will. Evil bastards.

And people ask why I make such a big deal about the time change. "Suck it up dude, it's happening whether you like it or not." Oh yeah? Well, I'm not going to put up with this blatant form of torture, which I might add is just shy of waterboarding on the scale of what torture is worse than another. No I am damn well going to be like Indiana and create my own time zone based on any capricious needs I may have at any given moment. Call it Free Range time keeping. Screw the government goons and their arm twisting ways to make us conform.

From now on when someone asks what time is it, "Well now just what time would you like it to be?...........Uh, you say you hope it is around ten o'clock. Well this is your lucky day, it is indeed around ten o'clock. Hell it might even be exactly ten o'clock if that is what you want it to be. Or four o'clock, maybe even seven-thirty.....whatever blows your dress up. Because you see if you are within eye shot of me and I am within eye shot of you then you are in the CRUM Time Zone. Time does not rule the CRUM Time Zone. The people in the CRUM Time Zone push the buttons and make Time bend to their will. The time is whatever you want it to be."

If pressed for further details, as if this was not enough information, but well, some people have to be led by their noses before they get the gist of a something, - anyway if pressured to expand on what exactly CRUM Time means, I would say, "CRUM Time means you can never be late. You can never be early. You are always on time because time is decided by you for you."

I know what you are thinking. Wouldn't it cause major havoc and mayhem if everyone was on CRUM Time? Okay so there are some bugs to work out. No great idea was ever hammered out overnight. I will say this. If everyone was on CRUM Time, this world would slow down to a pace I might be able to keep up with.


Saturday, November 05, 2011

My Blog is Not a Dog - But It Somtimes Smells Like One

Just when I think I am a fairly intelligent adult male who has at least a smidgeon of a clue, I run into ideas, treatments, explanations and descriptions of the Universe and its contents that lose me after about the first five words. And once again humbled, I am crushed under the reality that there is always someone faster than me and there are definitely many people smarter than me. Boatloads of people. Cruise ship size boats in flotillas of people smarter than me. Their talent, their way with words, their charisma if you will, prove that I hover somewhere just above imbecile and well under, not even in the same ball park with Einstein.

So do I hang with the metaphorical "ugly chicks" just to make myself look better? I would like to think I don't. But then that conclusion is not one I am apparently intelligent enough to make. I am constantly reminded of my unintelligence by the right wingers who swing by my Dana Perino post "Wingers with Woodies". Everyone who visits these days has nothing complimentary to say about me.

I have been at this blogging thing a long time, closing in on 7 years now. If my blog was a dog, that would make my blog 49 years old in blogger time. Often my blog smells like a dog, but it is no dog. In the historical lifespans of blogs created, lived and died, my blog is ancient, older than old, like that ancient tree found out west that was alive before Jesus wore short pants. I found some information based on opinions, loosely wrapped around facts that if a blog makes it one year, it is ready for medicare.

In an effort to raise up my image in my own eyes at least, I floundered around the saved blogs in the back of the saved blog box I keep in this computer. I wanted to find blogs that made mine look good. Sadly, I only seemed to save blogs that are at worst my equal, with most of them at least several steps up the blog ladder.

One odd blog I found had me momentarily stunned. It was written as if written by a seriously deranged college professor for some high brow magazine that only the 50 people in that field could even slightly understand. It is called Communications from Elsewhere. The lead in description just below the title reads and I quote - "Deconstructing Surrealism: Neostructural theory and predialectic desublimation".

My first thought was, "How did this get in here?" My second thought was, well, I really had no second thought as I was still reeling from the complete state of clueless-ness I found myself in. Then I remembered. This was a great site. The blog owner is poking fun by creating Text Generators that will through computer magic create essays and other word related fun by punching a button. The result is nonsense that reads initailly like seriously high minded stuff but is more like the answers I used to come up with in blue books come finals week. Gotcha!

Check it out, it is great. The text generators are in the sidebar near the bottom on the right.

Anyway, back to looking after the dog.............................................

Friday, November 04, 2011

The Clown Complex

I just got wind of a new tax being proposed. The Tax Wall Street tax. A tax rate of 3/100ths of one percent of any trading done by Wall Street. That works out to a paltry 3 pennies on every $100 worth of trading. Seems like chump change except the article insists the tax will stuff between $700 billion and $1.2 trillion bucks into the National Treasury over the next 10 years. The article goes on to claim it will amount to about a dollar a year more for anyone who has a 401K retirement type fund that uses investments to grow the fund. The real pockets picked will be the traders who use computers to flash money back and forth to each other.

I say go for it. Smarter people than I are for it. Warren Buffet, one of my favorite rich guys, is for it. So are several economic heavy weights. The problem as I see it is that it is a tax and worst of all it comes from the evil Democrats. Those two things will surely cause it to fail as Republicans are unable/unwilling to consider any form of governance that is initiated as a tax or comes from their hated opponents from across the aisle. All they want to do is pass useless empty gestures like re-affirming our national motto - "In God We trust". Apparently it is more important to make sure Obama knows what our motto is than to actually govern.

In the meantime, Morning Joe just stated that he has been hearing more and more from his conservative connections that many would rather lose to Obama than support Mitt Romney. I was wondering why the less than zero candidate Herman Cain was doing so well. Now I know. They are staying on their side of the ideological line come Hell or high water. In the meantime, the country limps down the drain.

So to you, the leaders of the Republican and Tea Party clown complex, I bestow on all of you, my bonehead award for this week and retroactively every previous week for the last 100 or or so. And just to save myself some trouble, consider the bonehead award yours for the foreseeable future. You are doing way more damage than good to this country.

When you stop acting like pouting children and act like adults, maybe I will re-visit my decision. But you have a long way to go before I will think kindly of you again.


Thursday, November 03, 2011

Black & White

And yet another ghost from Herman Cain's past rises up to haunt his so very busy present.

Where have I seen this, experienced this, noticed this same scenario playing out on the national political scene? Just what is so familiar about a black conservative trying to land a job at the top of the national political heap who is also suddenly embroiled hard into allegations of sexual misconduct in their past?
Like a broken record, or maybe just a recurring theme, I remember the first black conservative who was up to his ass in controversy involving alleged sexual misdeeds. His name was Clarence. And he somehow managed to skirt the damage and now sits large and in charge on the bench of the highest court in the land.

Sadly, Herman Cain, well, let's call him a Thomas protege of sorts, anyway, Herman's fate is not in the hands of a political majority, his fate rests on the tide of public opinion. Herman has no legal safeguards, no loopholes for lawyers to come up with. He can only say he did not do it and it is up to us whether we believe him.

The pundits on the Right immediately cried foul, using the "R" word and laying blame on the sleaze bags on the Left. As it turns out, Herman's recent troubles were actually stirred up by a fellow member from inside the elephant brigade. One of his opponents within his own ranks was to blame. Desperation has caused the normally loyal Republican field to go after each other like they were Democrats. Beating Obama has become that important. Sad really.

I tried to look at these two without any focus on their shared racial background. I tried to ignore the idiots on both sides who blatantly are playing this up with racial overtones. Yes, I tried to shit can the race card.

But I couldn't. Is it because I am an almost 60 year old white man? Hmmm.......... Personally I do not think so. I don't like either man, but not because of their race. They both start off in my negative column just based on how far to the right both claim to be. Thomas is inherently an unlikable person based on his public persona. And Herman, well, he's a politically clueless neophyte. And I have no interest in placing a politically clueless anyone in the White House. Add all this together and race does not even come into my equation.

Those on either side who would try to heap white guilt on me for even bringing this up should be more concerned about how their blatant exploitation of the race card will be viewed.

But this is about race and what both sides are trying to do. Many Republicans are desperate to show their party as being non racist. Backing Herman Cain is an obvious way. The Left is trying hard to make aware to the public that this is but a ploy to get their vote and in the heart of the republican doctrine racism stews and brews and tarnishes everything the Republicans try to put forward.

If there is one thing I have found after 59 years on the planet is that racism knows no political, religious, or geographical boundary. Racists exist everywhere. And if we are honest with ourselves, no matter our color, we all have had some unkind thoughts, or painted with broad brushes our opinion based on racial stereotypes. What differentiates a hard core racist from the occasional racial generalization is what we say and do publicly. If I think like that, then any white guilt anyone wishes to heap on me is a waste of time. I hold my head up and know that once I figured things out about the time I turned 16, I have treated anyone I met as MLK would have me treat them. Character not color.


Tuesday, November 01, 2011

New fences

I forget what these people are called. They have a name and a specific description of what they do to deserve the name. I am sure I have the note somewhere handy near the top of all the useless information I store haphazardly within the confines of what pretends to be my mind.

Futurists? ........... Maybe.

Regardless, I am fascinated by the interaction of random events and socio/political/economic evolutions and revolutions that combine to create whatever present we are living at any given time. I have the deepest respect for the people who can pick out the under the radar current events and affairs that will matter at some point in the future.

Yeah, it's easy to say that everything matters. There is no one thing or several things that create by themselves the flow of the future. But there are turning points, tipping points, and points of no return. There have to be. We decided they existed, so there it is.

What brought this up for me was when I read an article on California sex offenders. Not the settled down sex offenders, but the ones who are homeless. Apparently because of "Jessica's Law", no sex offender can live within 1/2 mile of a school, park, or playground. I guess limiting their living choices has caused a sharp increase in the numbers of homeless sex offenders.

It seems that the state of California decided that in order to make Halloween safe for the kiddies, they would round up all homeless sex offenders in a central location during those prime trick or treating hours.

I won't get into the ethical aspects of this round up. Lord knows, "Law & Order - SUV" has beaten the subject to death. What I wondered was how the cops were going to do it. I mean if they are homeless, does that not mean their whereabouts is unknown?

Apparently not. All convicted sex offenders in California are required to wear GPS tracking devices. Corralling them was easy-peasy.

Again, though the subject screams for it, I refrain from commenting on the ethical aspect of this. What my mind thought of first was George Orwell. And then Anthony Burgess. Both Brits who saw this coming many years ago.

I then thought of our planet's population recently hitting 7 billion.

And naturally the first thing that popped into my mind was the notion of smaller government and how stupid is that notion. By necessity, government intervention in our lives has to increase along with the increase in population. More people means the various governments will do what they feel is necessary to organize and direct their individual populations. If they don't, then regime change is inevitable, whether instigated internally or externally. And what is a government's first priority? No, it is not its people. It is its own survival.

In order to keep the teeming masses in line, various agencies will try different methods. Slavery, the Inquisition, and death camps during WWll are but a few of the methods thought up by governments to control their people. Fences, walls, and incarceration all are devices a government will pull out if it feels its survival depends on it.

Now that humanity has evolved to the point where we are not collectively as dumb as we look, governments are being forced to come up with more subtle ways to keep us in line. It seems we are now hard into a period of history where the focus will be to subjugate us without most of us noticing until it is too late. And even for those of us who do notice, the efforts will be understated, misstated, and appear on the surface a good idea at the time.

The Patriot Act stands out as the perfect example. The dry running of obligatory GPS devices for a small segment of the population is another.

So the next time one of the snake oil sales men from DC claim they are for "smaller government", do not believe them. It will not happen. Anyone who claims it is possible is either lying or an idiot. You cannot corral a growing population with smaller government. But you can possibly do it with "different government". And that is I am afraid where we are headed.