Reflecting Pool

 There are some of us who have always stood up for others and some of us who have only stood up for ourselves.

Then there's the rest of us, never really sure which way to go

And that's just sad

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This is the variation of a thought that came to me for a comment on someone's Facebook post. I have expanded it to include myself. I would love to claim the high ground of standing up for others, but well, I have failed from time to time to be that guy. I can also remember a time when selfish interests ruled and I knew I should have been more considerate.

And now, after so many years of inconsistent support for those who needed it, I have begun to speak out more, donate more, and most important, try to recognize what personal actions I can change that would benefit others without being judgmental or attaching any debt to my help. 

I know now that help saturated in pity will often make the situation worse. People generally do not want to be pitied. They can become resentful. They may need help. They may even want it. But when it is waved in their face, often it causes them to draw back from it.

It would be easy for me to sit back at 72 years old and not give a shit about anything or anyone. It would be a logical step after becoming a card carrying Old Fart. But It makes less sense now to not care than it did when I was in the middle of the busy productive part of my life.

Whether it is a good idea or not, I have been doing a lot of reflecting these days. I have the time now to reflect on years past; the triumphs, the failures, the moments of pleasure and pain.  And though it has been my position that I have no regrets, well, that is probably just some Bullshit I tried to fool myself with.

I used to passively deny regrets with, "There are things I would have done differently." Who am I fooling? That means regret; no getting around it. Thankfully, any regrets I harbor are shoved aside by the overwhelming wave of the things I did that I did not regret. I am pretty much happy with my performance as a human so far. Now, I want to see if I can clean up the rough edges I developed as I wore myself out making it paycheck to paycheck over the years.

I need to stop now. The Reflecting Pool is beginning to ripple. Besides, Maggie needs to go out to pee.

Keep it 'tween the ditches .............................................

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I spent more time finding a tune for this post than I usually spend I guess. Or I just became frustrated and impatient sooner than usual. Regardless, I chose a Nickelback tune, "When We Stand Together" for the music to listen to when reading this post. Hope you like it. I did.

Surviving the No Write Zone

If I want to write more often, I need to find a solution when nothing to write about comes to mind ...... my mind can become a crippled blank and no amount of doob, alcohol, or other stimulants will bring me out of my funk.

It it pisses me off that when neither pen, paper, nor computer are nearby, I can think of a hundreds topics as I move through my day. Then I sit down determined to write, I stare at the blank screen, which I guess is akin to contemplating one's navel, sitting pool side in a lounge chair. A mushy void develops between the ears and numbness clogs the synapses.

The other time I think of topics is in the middle of writing the topic I came to write at the moment. I used to shine them on. I would often remember them, but only after I had left the computer and was doing something else.

Now when I sit down to write, if another topic or twist on the topic comes to mind, I write a few hints on another page to re-inspire me when nothing seems all I have. I just started the new page a week ago and there are already 20 -30 prompts saved to it. I may never expand on all of them, but it's nice to know they are there when I find myself stranded in the black hole I call, the "No Write Zone".

Later .............................

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I chose Soundgarden's " Black Hole Sun", not because its lyrics are relevant, but because they are not. When I am stuck reving my engines and going nowhere, nothing I think of seems relevant. I often feel I have fallen into an empty black hole.

Enjoy.