If you are Interested in the series - start with "Buddy and the Pastor" - Part 1
And without any more introduction, here is:
Buddy and the Pastor- Part 2 - "The Boys in the Door"( started 7/28/2022 - Finished but not published until today)
The raucous laughter of the local boys crowding the front door at the Tradin Post brought Pastor Angers back to his senses. He began walking back to the store and considered those unshaven toothless faces hanging out of the front door.
He was reminded why he had come here to the Tradin Post on a Friday evening in the first place. He never saw these clowns in church. He felt he needed to face these evil blaspheming heretics and agents of Satan on their own turf. What better way to do that than at the only beer store in town.
He stopped short of the roof overhanging the door. He again placed fists on his hip, took off his glasses and glared at the yokel crew crowding the door. The hard rain running off of him combined with a flickering outdoor light, set the scene with an appropriate amount of foreboding. Pastor Angers spoke in his best condemnation voice.
"You are all fornicators, men of low morals and ungodly ways. If you don't find God soon, you will be lost in the depths of Hell. You suck down the demon rum, shoot drugs into your arms. ........ And I assume some of you sleep with other men."
The boys in the door stopped laughing as if on cue. Their faces went blank. A moment passed. Finally Fred Jenkins spoke up.
"Preacher man, I ain't no fudge packer and I do not appreciate the insinuation. But if you have any sheep I might like to meet......................."
Again, as if on cue, the gang busted out laughing. Fred leaned out too far, tripped and fell out of the door and onto his back.
Even in the chilling rain, Pastor Angers' face heated up. The tips of his ears seemed to catch fire. Clenching his fists, he turned and began the mile hike back to his rectory. All the way home he conjured up possible repercussions God might engage to smite down these hedonist louts and slack jawed never faithful minions of Satan. He was sure they would suffer once God actually got around to firing up the Rapture.
He envisioned drawn and quartered headless bodies dangling from steeples coast to coast while all God's Children waited patiently for God to transport them away from this planet filled with evil doers, sodomites and fornicators.
Yes, by the time he threw open his front door, Pastor Angers had recharged his batteries and holstered enough fire and brimstone to satisfy a month's worth of Bible thumpin sermons. Rejuvenated and feeling frisky once again when he came into the kitchen, he slapped his wife on the butt a couple of times, kicked the dog and pinched his daughter so hard on her cheek, a classmate would ask tomorrow who had she pissed off. And then he gave his plump wife the horny eye.
"Hallelujah, Hallelujah ....... Hallelujah devoted family. Pass the biscuits and pour me some wine. If we love God, God will love us!"
His wife and daughter barely noticed his grand entrance. His wife Ruth placed some food in front of him.
She noted, " Well, you surely are in a good mood tonight Honey Bun. Been after them Blasphemers again?"
His daughter stopped rubbing her cheek. "Yeah Pa, did you do some righteous smiting today?"
His wife and daughter rolled their eyes at each other, grinned and sat down for supper. (568)
The raucous laughter of the local boys crowding the front door at the Tradin Post brought Pastor Angers back to his senses. He began walking back to the store and considered those unshaven toothless faces hanging out of the front door.
He was reminded why he had come here to the Tradin Post on a Friday evening in the first place. He never saw these clowns in church. He felt he needed to face these evil blaspheming heretics and agents of Satan on their own turf. What better way to do that than at the only beer store in town.
He stopped short of the roof overhanging the door. He again placed fists on his hip, took off his glasses and glared at the yokel crew crowding the door. The hard rain running off of him combined with a flickering outdoor light, set the scene with an appropriate amount of foreboding. Pastor Angers spoke in his best condemnation voice.
"You are all fornicators, men of low morals and ungodly ways. If you don't find God soon, you will be lost in the depths of Hell. You suck down the demon rum, shoot drugs into your arms. ........ And I assume some of you sleep with other men."
The boys in the door stopped laughing as if on cue. Their faces went blank. A moment passed. Finally Fred Jenkins spoke up.
Again, as if on cue, the gang busted out laughing. Fred leaned out too far, tripped and fell out of the door and onto his back.
Even in the chilling rain, Pastor Angers' face heated up. The tips of his ears seemed to catch fire. Clenching his fists, he turned and began the mile hike back to his rectory. All the way home he conjured up possible repercussions God might engage to smite down these hedonist louts and slack jawed never faithful minions of Satan. He was sure they would suffer once God actually got around to firing up the Rapture.
He envisioned drawn and quartered headless bodies dangling from steeples coast to coast while all God's Children waited patiently for God to transport them away from this planet filled with evil doers, sodomites and fornicators.
Yes, by the time he threw open his front door, Pastor Angers had recharged his batteries and holstered enough fire and brimstone to satisfy a month's worth of Bible thumpin sermons. Rejuvenated and feeling frisky once again when he came into the kitchen, he slapped his wife on the butt a couple of times, kicked the dog and pinched his daughter so hard on her cheek, a classmate would ask tomorrow who had she pissed off. And then he gave his plump wife the horny eye.
"Hallelujah, Hallelujah ....... Hallelujah devoted family. Pass the biscuits and pour me some wine. If we love God, God will love us!"
His wife and daughter barely noticed his grand entrance. His wife Ruth placed some food in front of him.
She noted, " Well, you surely are in a good mood tonight Honey Bun. Been after them Blasphemers again?"
His daughter stopped rubbing her cheek. "Yeah Pa, did you do some righteous smiting today?"
His wife and daughter rolled their eyes at each other, grinned and sat down for supper. (568)
( Part 3 - tomorrow)
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In an effort to retain some kind of connection to the sheep references, here is "Sheep", from Pink Floyd's 1977 album, "Animals".
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