Thankless tasks wait. Mundane drudgery is forestalled. I avoid the rut that is my life at the moment. Wanting so very much to say what is in me, all I ever do is dance around the dream. Toiling at being different than I am, I look for something special to hold onto. Never finding the one answer that will bring this maddness that is my life into focus. Some say it is the pursuit that counts. I say they are full of shit. All of us want to know what we are about, but few ever find out. So here I sit on yet another late night excursion. Digging for answers . Exploring for Gold. As usual, I find just another compost heap.
Maybe I should take up drugs or alcohol again.
Numb my brain, bring it all into a fuzzy focus.
I gave that life up. I cannot return.
My body now wasted and my mind a bit burned.
So what I am left with is all I have left.
A whisper of once was, the promises of youth.
Wasted and plundered by the lust to escape.
And why do we do this?
Destroy the potential we once had?
Chasing physical pleasures,
we raced away from Life just as it begins.
30 years pass, settled into a life they call simple.
It's odd they should call it that.
As confusion now runs rampant.
I wonder where I have been
that accounts for where I am.