Emily

What does one do when they wake up at dark thirty in the morning and cannot get back to sleep? When tossing and turning has worn out its welcome, I just get up and find something to do. There is always something useful to do at 2:30 AM. And there is always something less useful but more fun to do. Guess which way I went?

That's right. Being useful has its limits. I decided to scroll through the thousands of images I have saved in my computer these last 20 years. I came across this image.

Immediately, Emily came to mind.

Emily Johnson (not her real name BTW) lived a block away from me when I lived on Roosevelt Street in Bethesda, Maryland back in 1966. I was in ninth grade.

Emily was a full grown woman in her twenties. She lived with her parents. She had Down syndrome and was the most pleasant and friendly human I had ever known. What a sweetheart. Everyone in the neighborhood liked her and looked out for her. 

Her only issue I guess was when it was warm and her dad set out sprinklers, she would sneak out, strip, and dance in the sprinklers buck naked. All the neighbors handled it well. Most everyone had the Johnson's phone number handy and would call and say something like, "Emily's out in the sprinklers again." And that was the extent of it. Nobody got their panties in a bunch.

One Saturday morning while I was busy chained to tools of torture mistakenly known as garden tools, a fancy large automobile pulled up to the curb next to me while I was edging the sidewalk in front of our house. I hated that damn edger. Once my dad failed to secure the evil steel blade and it came off while I was using it. Scared the shit out of me. 

Anyway, the drivers window slid down and a well dressed lady wearing winged sunglasses leaned out and said, "Oh Boy?" She stuck out her well adorned hand with the perfect nails that precisely matched her come hither red lipstick liberally applied to the perimeter of her mouth. With a snobbish wave of her hand, she summoned me closer.

I felt the hairs on my neck rise up and the chip I always had handy at that age began to rise from its nook on my shoulder. 

I had been well trained though  and said, " How can I help you Maaaam?'

"I am a real estate agent with Shannon and Luchs ( they were real)."

Totally unimpressed, I just said, "Okay, so what?"

She took off her sunglasses with a flourish. Her eyes were slits as I assumed she was deciding how to deal with such insolence. Her face relaxed; her problem was more important than dressing down a surly teenager.

"Well sonny, I have to show a house over on Hempstead Avenue. You know, the next block over."

"Yeah, I know where Hempstead is. Again, so what?"

I could tell she was not getting from me what she expected. So I smiled.

From her pursed lips, "I would like to use your phone, if that would be possible."

"Why?"

"I want to call the police. There is a young woman frolicking in a sprinkler on the front lawn of the house next door to the one I am showing today. It's a disgrace. The Police need to be notified."

"Oh, that's Emily. She's not right in the head. She doesn't mean any harm. No need for the cops."

" Well she is scaring away my clients. She should be arrested for indecent exposure at the very least. Besides aren't there institutions for people like her?"

I can remember barely keeping myself under any kind of control. I still lashed out.

"Lady, fuck no, you can't use our phone and you are a heartless bitch. I will call the Johnson's and they will gather Emily up and hide her in the house for you."

Real Estate lady opened her mouth and closed it. She then slammed the car into drive and peeled out. 

I turned my back on her hasty retreat and headed into my house to call the Johnson's. But I took my sweet time. Emily deserved a few more minutes doing what she loved.

Keep it'tween the ditches ......................................

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It was tough to find a video about dancing in sprinklers. It took awhile, but I think the search was worth it. I hope you think so too. This "Twin Baby Moose in Sprinkler" - I do not recognize the tune but its a pleasant enough tune. Enjoy!