Tuesday, March 29, 2016

Musings From the Throne

The magazine rack next to the throne had a new rag sticking out of it this AM.  Almost notebook sized and it looked substantial.    As I am prone to do when conducting the kingly business that happens when on the throne, I will choose from the variety of periodicals and read to distract myself from the necessary but boring duties I must deal with while on that throne.  A king's work is never done and well, I take my entertainment where I find it.

I pick up this new addition stuffed in the magazine rack.  It is a Reader's Digest.  It is at least 2 times bigger than the Reader's Digests I remember hanging around doctor offices everywhere when I was younger.   The cover has the classic Reader's Digest logo in huge letters.  Nearby the words, "Large Print" tells me this Reader's Digest focused readership are old farts.

I immediately forget wondering why there is a Reader's Digest  even mixed in with the normal rags found in the throne side rack.  I shift to a feeling of being insulted.  I am sure my lovely wife is the culprit who placed this reminder of old age at my fingertips.  She's sneaky that way.  Always leaving little tokens around that tell me I screwed up somewhere.  Dirty dishes piled up at my place on the kitchen table.  Bags of trash piled in the living room I neglected to remove in timely manner.

But  a copy of a large print Reader's Digest?  What could this mean?  Her point seemed way more subtle than my pitiful excuse of a mind could handle.  I could still read fine.  Did not need large print anything yet.  Although it does seem the miserly bastards in charge of the print world now are  using smaller print.  If she had left a hearing aid next to the TV remote, I would immediately get the point.  But a large print Reader's Digest?  Her possible motive was beyond me.

I lost interest as to her motivation once I opened the mag.  Immediately, memories of waiting rooms form my youth came flooding back.  I remembered one doctor I visited while we lived in Tallahassee, Florida.  I had a recurring appointment schedule with him after a collapsible wooden chair tried to cut one of my fingers off.  Over the course of a two to three month period, he had the same two magazines in his waiting room.  Both were dogeared and almost unreadable.  One was a Time from several years before and the other a five year old Reader's Digest.   I read both enough, I almost had them memorized.

As I thumbed through this modern day version of Reader Digest's effort to fight the digital tide, my wife's possible motives faded.  The larger type threw me off at first.  As each page turned, I saw one familiar feature after another.  "Humor in Uniform", the obligatory crossword puzzle, word power quiz, "Points to Ponder", all the old go to features were there.  This was Reader's Digest alright.  Bigger maybe and on cheaper paper, but it was the same as I remembered from years ago.

Oddly, this brought me some comfort.  No matter how much things change, tokens from the past hang in there, reminding us that the past is never very far behind us.

Keep it 'tween the ditches ...........................................


Nasreen Iqbal said...

Reader's Digest is the same, huh?

I saw a copy of Rolling Stone at a friend's house the other day, and it was smaller than they used to be and also skinnier. Inside, they were still pretty much interviewing the same people as in the old days, though. (I thought a rolling stone gathered no moss?)

The poor magazine industry.


reminiscing in the 'loo..

BBC said...

Getting to where I prefer a large print.

Tom Harper said...

I found a stack of old Readers Digests one day when I was helping somebody move. They were from the 1950s and early '60s. What a trip into the past. Come to think of it, that was about ten years ago. Time flies faster and faster the older you get.

Gotta agree about print getting smaller and smaller. The worst example is the tiny letters/numbers on electronic gadgets -- dark print embossed on a dark plastic surface. We're supposed to be able to read that?

The Blog Fodder said...

I quit reading the Digest years ago, except for the jokes now and then. Too many articles "How I was a Communist for the FBI and found God"

Ol'Buzzard said...

The toilet is a place for meditation. Focus on the moment. Put politics and Readers Digest aside, Live in the now.
the Ol'Buzzard

Anonymous said...

what the Buzzard said! ha ha ha