Sunday, November 13, 2011
She Punished the Hard Right Out of Him
Well stud, how'd it go anyway? You're lookin a tad worn out, used up, thrashed good and proper. Looks like you been ridden hard and put away wet.
What's that? Can't hear you. Stop mumbling ferchrisakes. Did you have your way with her or what?
Oh I see. She was a handful huh? Early on even..........what? Speak up man, you're mumbling again. Weren't expectin her to be so rough right out of the gate? Jeez dude, she's from Biddeford. Genteel ain't part of their culture. If you wanted romance first, you were in the wrong town. Shoulda stayed home.
But go on with your story once you've hacked up that second lung. I'll wait....................So you were hoping for some warm up lovin, ease into the rough stuff foolin around. And what happened, she came right at you, all up in your face twistin here rollin there, showing you dirty bits and naughty parts best left covered. And what's that about her holes? Holes you would have just as soon missed, but she insisted and well, you are a stud, so you tried to oblige. Notice I said tried bub. She's out there right now laughin at you and the puny equipment you brought with you.
Well fella, all I can say is when you go to Bid-fud, you gotta takes the brassy broad as she comes. Try to go with her flow, but for chrisakes, stay on top. She will bury you hard if you give her half a chance. And from the look on your sad sad what did I just do face, she had you down on your knees begging to be set free or at least have it be over..............Hope it was fun for a little while anyway.
I would tell you to get your mind out of the gutter, but I did take you there. These were my post ride impressions, dreamed up as I laid delirious trying to relocate my ability to move any muscle I could after being spanked hard on a trail ride today down on the coast. They may not have tall hills, but they know how to punish. It has been a long time, at least a couple of months, since I have felt this used and abused after a ride. But she left me grinning. Between cramp spasms that is.
Figured I would pull the classic stereotypical male crap and assign sexual overtones to the ride. Cuz, I gotta say sometimes there is no better way to describe a ride.
Later I hope to be present and accounted for in front of the tube to watch my Pats try to break out of their funk. I won't hold my breath. Passing out may be unavoidable.
The image of the woman with the Balitmore Doo is from "Female trouble", a movie by John Waters.
The image of the stunt rock is from the area I rode today, but not part of the trails we suffered on.