Monday, January 31, 2011
How Much Time
How Much Time - I considered these words as they related to my bike shop. Worries over the bike shop bring these words to the forefront on a regular weekly, every other day, almost constant concern as I struggle to pay vendors, power companies, phone companies, and loan companies. "Payment due by........" and all that. The slacker income of winter always puts an emphasis on these words. But the emotion I felt when I woke up to these three words was not the emotion of a man overwhelmed by crushing debt. Oh I'm being crushed alright, but there was something else on my mind.
How Much Time - I briefly wondered if my recent diddlin and fiddlin around websites dedicated to the Mayan Calendar might be what I was worrying about. My conscious self really does not care about worrying whether the Mayan intelligentsia got it right or not. What happens or doesn't happen happens all the time. I deal with it as it happens or doesn't happen. But what about the guy I become in my dreams? Maybe that guy is really worried about it. Hey George Lucas is worried about it, maybe I ought to be also...................Nah, the Mike in my dreams is usually less concerned about the shit Life throws at us than the Mike who actually deals with it out here in the Real World.
HOW MUCH TIME - Now I'm getting angry. You can tell because I used all capitals there back a few words. What the Hell was I thinking about when I left these three words hanging in my sleep for me to pick up and run with when I woke up. Maybe it is the fact that I think more about what time I have left than the time I used to have ...........................Nope. Every time I try to project into my future, all I see is nothing. I treat the future the same way I did 40 years ago. It just does not exist until I get there.
Okay. After two cups of coffee and more head scratching than those three words deserve, I have decided to drop them from my list of daily concerns. If "how much time" is important, I will find out how important and how much time was left when it finally runs out.
Classic Monday I guess...................................................
Imaged copped from Gizmodo