I had somewhere to go with this post earlier. But now bureaucratic layers, hippies, radicals, weasels, Betty Bowers and two sentences have become jumbled together and now fill my mind. Each one found on different blogs. Each one representing different takes on what many call the "human condition". Taken individually, each one offers promise of possible insight,humour, or introspective wandering through the tinted glasses I use to view my past.
But now a mob has formed, a rowdy crowd of over eager points to be made. All screaming louder with each minute to be heard over the other. It would be nice if they got along. Stood patiently in some cerebral row for me to take on in order of appearance. My mind unfortunately is not an orderly space. Dust grows thick in it's corners, beds lay unmade, and the pets in here rule while I stand outside and most often drool.
To make matters worse, in my effort to create calm out of chaos, I punched up some Beethoven to hopefully find that happy place where everything makes sense and my mind is able to sort some of the chaff from what little wheat still exists in this rodent infested place.
Beethoven's Ninth is not helping. All I see is poor Alex as he sits strapped into some dental type chair with his eyes clamped open. In front of him is a movie screen with five second images of violence and destruction flashing hate and discontent as his adored Beethoven comes over speakers six feet tall. Damn music and the memories it conjures up. Another "Clockwork Orange" Morning I guess.
Instead of calming down the rowdy crowd assembled inside my brain, Beethoven has only created a bigger fire under them. Without hesitation they all scream louder and prouder, "Write about me you asshole!" Their individual ravings become one wall of insanity and so I sit numb and dumb in front of this screen.
I do enjoy writing just to write. Witness this post as a perfect and prime example. Wasting bandwidth with wild abandon is one of my guilty pleasures. I often think I would just as soon waste your time as much as I waste mine. But as this blog thing, writing and reading, is most often a completely volunteer effort, I guess if you are here, your time is up for being wasted. So enjoy another useless post. Have fun finding no substance, not even fluff here. For today I will dedicate to wasting that which cannot really be wasted, just used poorly.
In that you can often judge people by the clothes they wear, one only need to look at mine and know my blog is more likely decked out by shopping at Goodwill. I wear my life as comfortably as possible. I wear my life by recycling the efforts of those who have been here before. I have no illusions of being a trend setter, a man who does great and wondrous things. I am alive and that is enough I guess. Let others set the pace. Let others break the trail. I will follow in my own good time. But bear with me as I just love looking under the rocks we pass by.