The other part of my existence commonly known as "My Life" is such a damn nuisance. It just won't leave me alone. I whisper to myself, "Ignore it, it'll get tired and go home." But no, everywhere I turn, there it is in my face.
Nagging me, yanking on my pants leg and in a whiny voice, "Mister.....mister? MISTER?........The roof needs fixin ya know." Or Life might simply tell me to find that g-d'ed list this morning and this time put a dent in it.
The saying goes, "Celebrate Life". As a rule, I do not consider mowing the lawn, painting the barn, or slopping the hogs as any type of celebration. And I definitely do not feel that doing Roof Work of any type could be considered close to Celebrating Life. Roof Work is the antithesis of celebrating. On a scale of jobs I hate the most, Roof Work just barely nips out Septic Work in my personal guide of chores to avoid. Both are absolutely necessary when one backs up or the other one leaks in. Like hemorrhoids, both are a pain in the ass and will not be ignored.
So I have two choices here. I can hope to win Power Ball in the next week or so so I can afford to hire a crew of guys to take care of the roof for me. So far that hope has been dashed. Week after week of hoping Power Ball will set me free. You would think at some point the odds would tilt in my favor. Jeezum.
With empty pockets and a lack of will, it was easy to avoid the inevitable for quite some time. No longer. The roof has pushed any and all other handyman responsibilities to the back burner. There will be no leaks this winter. Well, that's the goal anyway.
To make sure this is the last roof I put on my house by myself, I am pulling out all the stops. I will strip the metal roof I put on 25 years ago. I will strip off the wooden runners. I will then strip off the two layers of shingles under the wooden runners and the metal roof. I will replace any sheathing deemed not up to the task of another 30 years duty. Then I will put foam insulation down. Followed quickly by some plywood sheathing. And then I am going to cover it all in Ice Shield. Not just the first 6 feet, but the whole G'd'ed mess. Every square foot right up to the ridge. And finally some 30 year architectural shingles as my finishing touch.
As I wrote the previous paragraph, I began a mental tally of the hours needed for one man to accomplish it. Not sure why I punished myself that way, but I did. My calculating brain almost overloaded and blew a fuse when I got to 120 man hours and I had not even added in the final shingle laying. Better to avoid this part. It might just make me roll over and go back to sleep instead of pulling out a ladder.
It has to be a solo operation. Two reasons. Money would be one. But the more important one is I want to do it by myself. I don't argue with myself as much as I do when someone else is on the roof. I don't have to explain my madness to myself. I am already kinda on the same page there. Of course, at some point, this pre-emptive bravado will most likely degenerate into hopeless self pity and some of my friends will get a phone call.
Anyway, this post is a heads up that I may be missing in action from the Blog world for awhile. I will be around and post when I can, but the next month is going to be focused on celebrating "My Other Life". The one I step out into everyday.
But then maybe not. Maybe I will be able to post and roof at the same time. There have been rare occaisions in my life that I was able to handle two things at once.