Friday, September 12, 2008

And I Thought Meme was French for Grandma

Well, maybe it never meant mom or grandma. I needed a title okay? Years of living next to and among Mainers of French Canadian rootage had me sure they were saying "Meme" when they were really saying "maman" or "mere". Just cuz that is how it came out of their mouths. Or that is how my ears translated it after it filtered through the hedges growing in said ears. Why folks can't speak like Muricans is beyond me. But hey, I go with the flow before I go against it. What with all the odd dashes and x's that don't make it into the actual utterance, I just smile and nod my head and do my best imitation of a language challenged dumass American with no rootage other than some guys and gals came here from over there and did some stuff here while fornicating here and now I am here.

So another Meme. Another game of tag. Another human is relying on me to come through in the clutch. This is important in the scheme of how the World turns. I know this. Bloggers everywhere are hanging on every word I write. Their daily lives would be sad and empty if I refused this request. A call to duty so to speak. To reach for lofty goals and smite mighty enemies down with word and keypad. To be silly and crazed if I want. As a blogger I take my silliness and definitely my craziness very seriously. So just because you called me a sucker Mr. Randall Graves , this meme's for you.

1. Where was I ten years ago?
Not sure. Well kinda sure. Yeah, almost sure I was right here. You see, I toked up my short term memory back 35 years or so ago. Ask me where I was on Oct 1, 1970 and I might have a shot of getting it in the ballpark. As to ten years ago, well, I am sure I was as you see me now. A timeless entity, a noble soul, watching the rest of the World Rock n Roll.

2. What was on my To Do list today?
As if I pay attention to lists. Especially to do lists. "To Do List" infers action on my part. Action that would require motion and thought. As this falls outside the parameters of my "To Do Nothing List", I cannot in good conscience satisfy the whim of one without contradicting the other. So I have to pick one. To do nothing seems the safer and saner choice. An idea many in Congress would be well advised to consider when the urge to jerk a knee visits.

3. What would I do if I were a billionaire?
Well duh. Spend it. What the Hell do you think I would do with it? I'm an American ferchrisakes.

Oh, I get it now. You want to know what I would do, if I were a billionaire. Hmm. Most likely work on becoming a Millionaire as fast as possible. I hear they get all the chicks.

4. Five places I've lived:
My early years were spent as a camp follower trudging through muck and mire while my dad slayed the dragons the US Air Force created for him. It might be easier to list 5 places I haven't lived. You should be grateful I have not lived in your house. My wife regrets my presence at least once a week.

But for those who might care - Colorado, Japan, Hawaii, Maryland, and Florida. And that was by age 8. It got even whackier after that.

5. Bad habits:
There are no bad habits. Just some good ones you shouldn't do. I'm still working on determining which ones those are.

It is now my turn to drop the ax on 5 other poor souls. While I would love to avoid the responsibility by asking for volunteers, it is not part of the equation. I understand there are rules about this. Rules taken seriously by folks much more blog savvy than I. If tagged, one must tag others. So no volunteers. Unless of course you choose to, then the rule there is I cannot stop you. I regret to inform the following they have been chosen to fall on their sword:

Gary - or "Old Dude" - It is time I got my nose back into joint and paid him back. A kind of kiss and make up with a kick in the ass. Also to remind Old Dude that I more often than not just write what's on my mind with reckless abandon, but do sink to using spellcheck before sending it out there. Besides, he loves this stuff.

El Cerdo Ignatius - a man's man. But don't tell him I said that. I have enough stalkers, thank you very much. Consider this nomination or assignment as pay back for being a reasonable voice from the other dark side. I am still looking for a way to piss him off. Because his words always make sense and that pisses me off. I really like him. So why am I doing this to him? I'm an evil person. Some folks consider me a liberal. Does not get much more evil than that I guess.

Demeur - Self proclaimed "remover of nasty things". If I let my imagination go, I see him as a bouncer at the RNC removing fake feminists because their lipstick is smudged and they left their Maidenforms back at the hotel. But something tells me his real job is way less fun than that.

Missy - Just because we need a kinder gentler touch only a nice woman like Missy would bring to the table. Her blog reminds me everytime about what we should be really concerned about. Family. I often do not get it. And I should. Besides, she has issued me a blog thing/award to put up. Which I haven't because, well, I just don't know why.

dawn from MDI - another cantankerous Mainer who says what's on her mind and you better take it or leave it. I like that. I like Dawn. I have learned much from her.

There they are. Some from the right, some from the left. And at least one from God know's where.

Keep it 'tween the ditches.............


Dawn on MDI said...

I have never been more proud of a description of myself. Thank you. Now to answer these damn fool questions...

El Cerdo Ignatius said...

Thanks for the kind words, Crum. Do you have stalkers too? I do so understand. One of the reasons my present location is faked and I usually refer to my home as the largest in a group of islands off the coast of Tanzania. Which it actually isn't. My home, I mean. Not the island.

I'm working (*gasp*) under a bit of a deadline this morning, but I shall get to your meme (does it rhyme with beam?) A.S.A.P. The delay will also permit me to think of a few souls to whom to pass the game along.

Middle Ditch said...

I get them, all sorts. It's nice.

The problem is that my blog is not like other blogs and I can never return the favor.

Randal Graves said...

Oh. You're one of those filthy hippies that lost Vietnam and Iraq.

"You're suppose to say we're winning, Senator."

That won Iraq. I mean, the troops, not you hippies.

Hey, didn't you used to live in our basement in the late 70s? I have to stop tagging people with stuff. You've all traveled far more than I have. Bastards.

BBC said...

Cute ducks, I like ducks, when they're not shitting on my stuff, ha, ha, ha.

Ah, ten years ago I was in the process of moving here after a powerful dream.

It took me all summer long, and has been one strange journey since.

BBC said...

I don't hide, it's no secret where I live. I've even posted my address and phone number at times.

Demeur said...

You're right. It would be bouncer making sure all who entered were pedophiles necrophiles or at least hipocrites. Let us not forget bat sh*t crazy women. Bring a dead moose and you win the door prize.

Missy's Blog said...

I am so honored to be tagged by you ... and thank you for such a kind description.

I will do this next week on my blog ... secretly, I've already blogged for the weekend because I do not think I will be online much.

I visit your blog almost everyday ... but I do not leave a comment every time I visit. I truly enjoy reading your comments, outlooks, adventures and opinions.

JM said...

Bwahaha! That's the most well-answered meme I have ever read, I believe. Nicely done. I love your sense of humor.

MRMacrum said...

It felt good to create that post. I needed to step away from the depressing bullshit that has become our sad excuse for an election. This post did that for me.

Dawn - I think we knew each other in another life or dimension. Might of been another time continuum. Or maybe we just brushed by each other in Portland once. And you are welcome. I meant it.

Pig Man - A clever man could find you. Be grateful I am but only a man, and not very clever.

middle ditch - Yes, your blog seems to have some built in glitches when it comes to the accroutements the rest of us take for granted. That is okay though. What it lacks in sparkli-distractions, it more than makes it up with a very clever approach and delivery. And it gets your talent out there.

randall graves - Well somebody had to lose it. It certainly wasn't going to be President John Lyndon Nixon. It had had it's run. So I stepped in.

I am ashamed to say it was I who stole that 8x10 black & white photo of Richard Milhous Nixon so carefully protected by glass and wood. Neither the elements nor the occaisional spray of spittle could sully the face of the great man. I did try my best to return the photograph to the Towson, Maryland Draft Office. But they said it was no longer blessed. It had been touched and forever despoiled by traitorous hands. They did make me pick up the garbage. I think I got a lid for it a couple of years later.

bbc - Something tells me you don't have too many secrets you are concerned about keeping. The least of your concerns is where you live.

demeur - The evil me would like to have been in charge of making their signs. I can see it now - "Change Now" in big block letters over the image of a set of red bloomers. Or maybe some subtle humor and just hand out those vertical signs that simply spell the states but leave out a letter here or there. See if anyone notices.

Missy - Kind maybe, but true also. You are the Heartland, not some bogus made up ideal of it. It is you and the millions like you who raise their children with love and attention no matter where they are. City, country, or ghetto. Mothers keep us almost sane.

jm - Thank you. But I have to say it is randall's fault. He made me get up on the right side of the bed for a change.