Saturday, September 06, 2008

100 Words on Fusion


“No Sympathy”

“Fusion, Mr. Stiles. Not fission. Not fussing, and certainly not FISHING! Which is obviously what you are doing and tells me you are once again unprepared for class."

“But Cap, I…….”

“Mr Stiles, please sit down. The glow of your intellect is blinding the rest of us.”

Stinky Stiles sat. Red faced, sweat staining his drab khaki collar. He hung his head and stared at his desk until 0955 when class let out.

The bell rang. Cadets filled the halls. But Stinky still sat.

“Cap, someone put super glue on my seat.”

“Congratulations Mr. Stiles. You have finally discovered fusion.”

______________________________________________________________________

The above is my entry in the weekly Velvet Verbosity 100 word contest. It is fiction loosely based on truth and real life people. We actually called Stinky "Anteater". And contrary to the story he was really a brainiac. But he was a jerk. We punished that poor kid mercilessly. In Chem class, I once dripped acid on his overseas cap while he had it folded in his back pocket. The rules were very specific. When indoors, overseas caps were to be folded neatly in half and placed in right rear pocket. The acid worked it's wonders during the hour class. When Anteater put it on to go outside he did not notice the holes in his hat. He received 10 demerits for breaking the uniform code. I never owned up to it. I guess I should feel guilty now. But did I mention he was a jerk? It could not have happened to a more deserving live by the rules tight ass. I think those were the only demerits Anteater received the entire 4 years he attended Charlotte Hall.

To put it in perspective, while I graduated as a 2nd Lieutenant, I also had the dubious honor of graduating with what was called unlimited demerits. Too many to count. Or they stopped counting once I hit 200 or so. I can't remember. I got caught being stupid quite a bit. The only thing that saved me I guess was I was 4th or 5th in my class, I played sports well, and I marched well. I could fling around that M-1 rifle with the best of them.

I do remember the day before I graduated, the Skin (commandant) told me if I wanted to graduate with my rank, I would have to take some whacks. Whacking a senior was almost unheard of. But since I had become very familiar with his evil paddle my previous 3 years, I figured it would be worth it to not have to explain to friends and family why I was graduating as a buck private. Skin discounted the demerit to whack ratio tremendously. I only received 10. But he lifted me hard each time he laid into me. I deserved every one.

The picture at the top right is of some of my school mates marching to class back in 1969/70. I am not in that picture. But I am in this next one. I'm the bonehead flashing the peace sign on the right. Notice the spit shine on my shoes. Damn, I was a punk. BTW, this is a picture of the varsity soccer team.


Remember the times though. Vietnam was going full bore and I had discovered my affinity for the protest. Earlier that year I was beaten almost senseless by a DC cop during a protest while in full uniform. He thought I was in the Army and showing disrespect to the uniform by being one of the protesters screaming around the Capitol. In actuality I was there with my English teacher as part of a tour of the Library of Congress. Cap gave us a couple of hours free time before we headed back to school 50 miles away. Naturally being curious dumass boys, we gravitated to the protest just to see what was up. It got ugly a few moments after we arrived. That unwarranted beating was a turning point in my life. I attended every protest I could after that. And I protested.

12 comments:

Dawn Fortune said...

nice 100 words. Damn. Writing short is not one of my gifts. Congratulations that you can do it and do it well.
Nice vignette on the prep school experience as well. It captured the feel of the times without sounding hokey or "back in my day, we had to walk to school and we liked it." Very nice.

Gary ("Old Dude") said...

Loved the "fusion" story and also enjoyed the post about your youth at military school.

Anonymous said...

Flashing the peace sign, in uniform, at a military prep school photo op. If ever there was a personal preview of coming attractions, this has to be one of 'em. And one of the best.

Bike on, Crummy ... bike on.

1138 said...

Oh, no - that was a V, for victory - right ;)

Demeur said...

Well that freaked me out. Same era same situation only my school was about 100 miles to the west. I wasn't quite as wild but I never got caught with my antics. Also a 2nd Lt. wanting to tweek some noses.
Maybe that's why I find it comfy here.

Unknown said...

I snorted a little tea out my nose at the end there :)

BBC said...

I'm thankful that I missed any action the four years I was in the Navy, being as I was stupid enough to join and do others fighting for them. How stupid is that?

Now I encourage all men all over the planet to refuse to serve their leaders and stay home and care for their family's like they are supposed to be doing.

See if you can spot little Billy in the picture, ha, ha, ha. LITTLE BILLY

Carlita said...

Nice post. I liked the 100 words on fusion, but I liked the rest of the post even better, especially the photo. Classic.

Snave said...

The uniform cap practical joke is priceless. Not nice, really, but I laughed out loud!

I cannot imagine what military school would have been like. Regular school was mentally excruciating enough, and adding the physical aspect to it... whew. Kudos to you for getting through it and for serving too, you are a braver soul than me. I was about a year too young to have gotten drafted for Vietnam, but I think I would have been trying to hide in the mountains around here if it had come to that.

Too bad about the beating... scheise...

I didn't get into protesting until the early 80s when there was some fear of Reagan getting us into a war in Central America, and there was an uproar over his policies toward that area.

Then there are the local anti-war protests every Wednesday afternoon, and I need to get back into going to those again. This is a small town, so a person gets "noticed" at those protests, but whatever. People already know where I stand on most issues from my annual or bi-annual letters to the editor in our paper... so locals seeing me at the protests probably doesn't surprise them much.

Do you write letters to your local paper? You are a good writer, and I would imagine you would do well in making your points!

El Cerdo Ignatius said...

Brilliant writing, Crum. I am surprised that you aren't making gobs of money from your literary talent. (Oh, heck...maybe you are.)

I hope that DC cop has received his comeuppance.

Anonymous said...

-giggles- ..I'm sorry to say that'd probably have been me dousing the chair in super glue. and hopefully that poor kid was not you.

Anonymous said...

Ha! I love it. That was great. It reminded me of stories from my youth. I apologize for missing this, and thanks for bringing it to my attention! I would never intentionally leave anyone out without giving them an express reason why.

I've added you to the list.