Sunday, September 21, 2008
Manic Comfort Zone
I just returned from a relaxing trip to one of my favorite forums of the past. When the real world seems to have taken on the tone and image of Bizzaroville, the comfort of a forum with clearly marked and civilized for most part lines can be a breath of fresh air.
Did I just type what I think I now read above this? Did those words just pass my......lips? I went to a previous haven of hate and discontent and returned as if I had just spent three days on a sea cruise watching babes with not much on jiggle and bounce up and down the decks as I reclined in a comfortable deck chair caressing a cool drink with an umbrella in it. And of course I had my best Hawaiian shirt unbuttoned just enough to make them giggle and flash me that, "I'd throw you the key to my stateroom, but my boyfriend is on board" smile. A kind of rueful smile that told me they wished they were with me and not stuck with silly boys. I have that affect on women when I wear that shirt.
How can this be true? My world has definitely flipped upside down. I remember not long ago detailing and almost wanting to include pictures with arrows and explanations of why I had fled the knock down drag out trolling jungle of the political forum. Yet here I am flip flopping like John McCain and reversing the chaos in my mind to fit the insanity I see before me.
Is it that the new insanity of now is somehow less preferable than the idyllic lunacy of then? Or is it that I have finally realized that there is safety in becoming one of the mob and not the self-perceived target of the mob? Have I entered a new phase of my Life long pursuit of madness and will eventually see the light and it will be fluorescent? Leaving me devoid of the beneficial rays that should have shined in while overdosing me with beams that bend my will to the whims of another?
Important questions for sure. Questions that lay bare the essence of what it is all about. Unfortunately these questions cannot , no, should not be answered. To answer them would defeat their purpose. To satisfy unreasonable fears might bring peace to a troubled soul. And we cannot at any price delight ourselves with even considering it an option. To do so would throw the brain into unseemly fits of bliss and contentment. And we all know God is a vengeful God and would make us pay dearly if we even hinted at happiness.
We can pursue Happiness. It's covered by some law somewhere I have heard. But I think that if we find Happiness, we must give it back. That's usually covered on Sundays or Saturdays or maybe twice a day kneeling on mats. But go ahead and pursue it. Just don't get caught catching it. Someone will slap your little....Dude, they will smack you down.
Well alright! Mike is back. The mental junk, flotsam and jetsam has settled back into that comfortable place once again. I have re-located my Manic Comfort Zone. Damn, I missed it. Reality just does not live up to the hype. Nurturing a small bit of Mania is so much more fun. Though I do have to remember to blink once in awhile. Folks get nervous when I don't blink.
Hmm, I wondered what I would write once that dream I cannot remember woke me up.