ARRGH, I CAN"T DEAL WITH IT ANYMORE. HELP ME. I AM HAVING A PC EMOTIONAL BREAKDOWN!!!!!!! SMOKE IS COMING FROM MY EARS. FOAM IS BEGINNING TO FORM IN THE CORNERS OF MY MOUTH. THAT VEIN IN MY FOREHEAD FEELS LIKE IT WANTS TO EXPLODE!!
Okay now. Calm Down. Take a deep breath. Whew.
The two hours I just spent creating a spiffy new email list of important and infuential folks in my little world just went down the cybernet toilet. Locked up. Nothing stirred. Not even my fucking mouse. Over 100 addresses entered by hand lost. Gone! See ya later alligator. SHIT!!!!
Easy there big fella. Think happy thoughts. Punch in a favorite CD. Walk the dog. Breathe some fresh air. Look at the stars. See that big Universe out there. That's where your foolish email addresses are now. Deal with it dude. Trashing your computer won't help. Might feel good for a minute, but when the wife finds it, there will be Hell to pay.
15 minutes later.
I am back now. Somewhat drained, but the bowels, they feel a lot better. And Stubb sure appreciated the attention and the late night pee.
Does the sage advice of my savvier wife help now? No. But now that everything is lost and the damage done, I remember the lesson well.
Back up frequently. Back up often.
That's just great. A little late wouldn't you say? Wish I had reminded myself of that little tidbit before I started this project I put off the last 3 months.
I did want to take the monitor and throw it through the office window. I actually laid hands on. I almost did it. It has been a long time since I have felt anger this intense and useless. It kinda felt good once I calmed down. Like something was purged, forced out. I feel better now. And I did not break anything. Cool. Must be finally growing up.
This latest lock up is but another in a recurring series of lock ups. Yeah, yeah, I have been Defragging, scanning disks, and emptying the useless and unwanted. But it would appear my machine has an affliction deep within it's soul. Outlaw bytes are running amok. Dancing around inside the guts throwing monkey wrenches here and there. Having a Helluva time. They wait until just that special moment when I have forgotten all precautions and dropped my guard. And then they pounce. Little bastards.
And man, aren't they quick and hard to find. I have had several computer gurus check it all out. All for naught. Like at my bike shop, the bikes never make that noise when I am hangin over them. The puter just hums along like it is supposed to when one of my geek friends is exploring the inner world of my PC.
"Sorry Dude. I've done a DOS diagnostic and everything checks out. Tell you what though. This puter is a dinosaur. You'd do yourself and me a favor if you did toss it out the window. Just dump everything on the hard drive to some disks before you do."
Yeah, like I don't know that. The chip fan wails for a few minutes evrytime I boot up. Some of the keys are semi stuck, and the speakers crackle if I don't mess with the wires leading into them. The screen saver's been stuck on some stupid logo, half in and half out for several years now. None of the games work. The printer only works right when certain stars line up just right. It's a tired machine.
Yeah, a new computer with all the bells and whistles and real balls would sure be a pleasant change. CD burner. No games, Great speakers and an awesome soundcard. It would be nice to have gigabytes instead of megabytes. A spiffy optical mouse with a nice red glow when it moves. Top it all off with a liquid screen 27 inches huge. Yeah, that would be special.
Yeah, I could enjoy a new one, that's fer sure. Hope springs eternal.
Blatant Self Indulgence
