Sunday, October 02, 2005

The Dark Side of Brotherly Love

I have begun the arduous and gut wrenching chore of re-establishing contact with my siblings. After 10 years of self-exile, a tragedy in the family has jogged my emotional need to touch base again. I am grudgingly fulfilling some sense of duty to the family clan. I would have been happy as if I had a brain if no emergency had popped up. I could continue to nurse this chip I have on my shoulder and get on with the rest of my life. Unfortunately, I must now face up to the anger I have savored these last 10 to 15 years.

Yesterday my lovely wife verbally slapped me out of my haze and into the here and now. "Can't you let it go for Chrisakes? You are being so petty." As usual, she was right and as usual it always pisses me off that she is. So I penned an unsent letter to one brother with condolences and an olive branch of sorts. And then I started another letter to my other brother venting my built up frustration and anger. I have also not sent it either. Just writng it all down seems to have helped. Now, I just need to use that 24 hour cooling off period, re-read both, edit as needed with a calmer hand, and then send them.

I have no idea where this will take our relationship. It certainly cannot make it worse.