I am suffering a type of penis envy. I should have known better, but I checked again, and yes, I am feeling inadequate. Less than most and inferior to many. What gets me is what they are usually packin is no better or more impressive than mine, yet they get all the attenion. Must be the clothes.
When I began to strut around showing everyone what I had, the girls were all supposed to fall over in a dead faint and the guys go "Duuuude!". When they didn't, I looked in the mirror. Naked and exposed, what I saw was an aging and pudging middle ager with some tough miles behind him. Just another flounder with more self-importance than he was entitled to. Basically a regular guy.
And that is the problem I guess. A regular guy with regular problems, regular desires and regular deviations. Nothing about me or what I have done with my life is grist for more than a good yawn I guess.
To attempt to fix this lost in the crowd problem I have, I surfed the cyber waves and lurked hither and yon. For the most part I decided my efforts were as good as most and better than many. Then I would stumble upon a star. A shining example of what all this is meant to be. Prose so well put together, it does not matter what the subject is. Dialog so clean and tidy, you know exactly what is meant without having to think. Immediate recognition of writng superior to anything you have read in a long time. Immediate recognition of talent grander than yours.
And even though I am jealous and wish I could lay down words like them, I am also thrilled to have met them. Their words lift my spiirts, blow me away, and sometimes leave me breathless.
