Well, I missed dreaming. Or rather, I missed my ability to recall a dream. I found myself waking up and immediately wondering if I dreamed this time. Then about a decade ago, I began to remember pieces and parts of sleep time adventures again.
Okay. I had re-established the fact that I still dreamed and that the dreams were as odd as they ever were. Now I wanted to remember them enough to write them down.
So, this is my best recollection of what I dreamed last night between trips to the toilet to pee.
Suddenly I found myself in a van. Of course I was driving. After all this was my dream. With me are several unrecognizable people. Their faces were vague and blurred, basically just three voices talking at the same time. I couldn't tell what they were talking about. They seemed to be enjoying themselves, so I concentrated on the deteriorating rural dirt road we were traveling on. It quickly became a road set at a steep angle to the side.When I looked out the right window I looked directly into the ditch.
No one seemed concerned other than me. The blurry faces were too busy talking and laughing. I decelerated because of the embankment and we began to crawl along at a couple of miles per hour. Up ahead I saw a tortoise in the ditch huffing it the same direction as we were going. As we slowly passed him, I could not take my eyes off him. Only a last second yank on the steeering wheel kept the van from going into the ditch.
All the while I pointed to the tortoise and shouted multiple times, "Did you see that? Did you see that? "
The Blurry faces in the car stopped talking. As if on cue, eyes appeared on the blurry faces. They glared at me for a second and immediately turned back and fired up their conversation again.
I said, "Hey, calm down assholes. You just missed something you won't see again any time soon."
I wanted to stop and check out the tortoise. But there was no safe place to do so. The road had become a goat path, leaning this way and that. I was now faced with a real possibility of rolling the van. Magically, or because I am such an awesome driver in my dreams, I lifted my legs and the van kind of jumped and landed tires first on a road of asphalt with proper ditches on both sides.
Before I could get back up to speed, a house appeared on the left that had not been part of the upcoming landscape before I saw it. Suddenly it was there with a proper driveway, a huge two car garage and many gabled windows built into the roof of slate shingles.
I pulled up the driveway and right into the garage like I lived there. Leaving the chatting trio in the van I got out and went into the house by the front door.
Entering a huge foyer, I stopped and considered where to go first. I heard voices straight ahead. Down a hall and into a den or family room filled with worn out furniture. An older couple was sitting on a couch watching TV.
Without any introduction, I started right in. "Do you know you have a tortoise walking this way. It can't be more than 100 yards away. It's huge. Big as a spare tire. Must be 100 years old I bet."
The old man turns in my direction and waves me off with an insolent and smug shake of his hand. He points at the TV screen and turned back to watch it. I stood mute for a few seconds considering how no one was interested in the huge tortoise outside. It pissed me off. I moved in front of the couple and blocked their view of the TV. In unison, they looked up at me. Again I stood mute.
The old lady finally says, "Well, what is it? You're blocking our TV."
I did not move. Just as I am about to speak, something wet and cold hit my face..............
My eyes opened and Maggie's nose was about three inches from my face.
Damn! But I smiled, scratched Maggie behind her ears and immediately set to remembering the dream. And now here I am having successfully retold as complete of a dream as I ever have. Total accuracy is a bit sketchy, but its close.
Good morning everyone. Getting off to a great start.