Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Unrelated Points and Observations
In recent months , days, minutes I have had the joy of feeling guilty for no good reason. To me there is a huge difference between justified guilt and unjustified guilt even though both often illicit the same feeling. Thankfully my recent pangs of remorse are for stupid shit and mean nothing in the grand scheme. And this makes me happy. It is much better to feel guilty over nothing than living with guilt that has substance.
Yesterday's FFF story "Martha" was an interesting experience. Now that I have 19 of the FFF stories under my belt, I am beginning to understand when a story is right and when I am forcing one. I am also beginning to understand my best writing mood. I seem to do best when I just sit down and don't think too hard about it. Just relax and let it flow. Creating some rigid ritual as a prelude to writing like sharpening pencils, having that neat stack of foolscap at the ready and a coffee cup full of hot Joe steaming ready to keep the juices flowing is not my style. I have lived my life as a loose dog and I guess I need to write that way also.
And then there is this
In some ways related to both of the above paragraphs, I have to say I feel bad for not being as involved with all the bloggers I know in recent weeks. But it is a fact of my life that there are more important things going on around me that need my attention.
We all have lists, goals, etc. Live to be 57 and the lists can become overwhelming. Well, I made a small dent, call it a small step in the right direction and it feels good to see stuff on that list checked off. And though my head of steam is small in relation to the mountain I must move, I at least have a head of steam fired up. So bear with me here, but my primary focus from now until further notice will not be Blogging.
Gasp!!! What's That You say? Giving up Blogging?
Calm down. No. I'm still hooked on this wacky activity. I will just need to find ways to squeeze it in around my Life instead of finding ways to squeeze my Life in around the Blogging. Like right now. I got up at 4 AM. Instead of sitting around scratching myself while the coffee perked, I sat down here.