Friday, February 19, 2010

The Son I Never Had

I guess I was supposed to hope I had a son instead of a daughter. I always wondered why that was. Should I feel guilty because I was thrilled to have a daughter? I did not give a rat's ass what popped out. I was happy to just be a father.

Sons are a pain in the ass. I know. I was one. Since I had never had a sister that lived with us (have a half sister down in Texas, but we have only met a few times over the years), I figured a daughter would be a cake walk compared to raising a bonehead boy.

Turns out I was right but not for the reason I thought. As I found out from the child raising experiences of my peers, daughters can drive you mad also. They just use different techniques than boys. Lis(Liz) had her moments, but they were brief phases from which she always emerged more mature and ready for what came next. By age 12, she had surpassed me on the maturity scale. And once again I became the child of the family.

Seems the stereotype of the American Girl has changed. The girls of my youth for the most part did not participate in physical activities of the contact sport kind. All the girlie versions of the guy sports where physical contact might happen had special rules so the ladies wouldn't have to worry about those unsightly bruises or mussed doos. As a young lad who had suffered more than a few times from unwarranted physical abuse from some of these same "young ladies", I knew they were every bit as rugged as I was. Some, way more rugged. I always resented that rule, "never hit a girl". Especially when I was on the ground just after being knocked down by one of those delicate flowers.

Lis grew up a jock. She had her stint with dance class. We even have some very cute but probably embarrassing shots of her in her outfits. Apparently though she preferred the swimming pool and the soccer field. From about age 7, she seemed to always be involved in some sport or another. Naturally, my proudest moments were when she pedaled training wheel free and several years later sat on her first real mountain bike. And yes, she became an excellent rider who cruised downhills with no fear most days. Club sports, school sports right up to and including college, my daughter's life was all about athletic endeavor. That she decided to become an Athletic Trainer out of Grad school seemed the logical next step.

So she is now working at the University of Richmond babysitting D-1 prima donnas and liking it most days. But fixing up other athlete's sprains, tweaks, and bruises doesn't give her that fix she became used to growing up. So what does she do? She joins a Roller Derby club.

The Roller Derby of today is a far cry from the Roller Derby of my youth apparently. The brassy scary lookin women with "big hair" of yesteryear have been replaced by less scary lookin but more intense young women today. The young women of today are as serious about their recreational sports as the men are. And I think that is just so very cool. I always knew they were as good as us loser men. Ask any one of them. You better believe em too, or they might just knock you on your ass.

Right On Ladies. Kick some ass.

For more on this go to:

Mother State Facebook page



Randal Graves said...

One of my coworkers here does the roller derby gig and believe me, they could easily knock us Manly Men of Manliness on our collective ass.

BBC said...

I made two girls, it's easy when you have a pattern in front of you. The first one I haven't seen since she was about 2 or 3 years old. The second one is one of the things that is currently wrong with America so we no longer talk to each other and that's just fine with me.

My son was adopted cuz he came with my second wife. We don't talk to each other either because he is just another idiot that is wrong with America and I don't care to know if he is in jail again or not.

Maybe instead of roller derby stuff your daughter should put all that energy into saving humanity. How? I don't know, maybe by kicking it's ass.

BBC said...

Your daughter has a large collection of shoes? Well, so much for her caring about the planet.

Cormac Brown said...

You are a rightly proud poppa!

MRMacrum said...

Randal - Just goes to show just how far out of the loop I can be. I never even knew it still existed until my daughter called me last year asking me to get her some pads and a helmet.

BBC - You are truly one abrasive SOB.

Cormac - Guilty as charged.

BBC said...

BBC - You are truly one abrasive SOB.

Thank you, :-)

And you are slow witted about your women. :-)

sunshine said...

I can remember watching Roller Derby on tv when I was a kid.

I think it's pretty cool that she is on a team and enjoying it so.
My parents never let me join any sports growing up. I guess I was too delicate a flower. :P

She's such a cutie!!


BBC said...

She's such a cutie!!

I guess I missed that cuz she doesn't look like anything special to me.

SOB that I am.

MRMacrum said...

sunshine - Yes she is a cutie. I will pass on the good word. Thanks.

BBC - I have tolerated you when you went on one of your obnoxious tears in the past. I have even laughed off the moments when you brought it to my blog in the comment section.

I try to be open minded and allow folks to say what they will. You can rag on me, but you don't rag on my daughter. You don't know her. You have nothing to base an opinion on other than what I care to share with you. Your comments are bush league and often mean.

This is my blog and God Dammit, you should respect that. I have never conducted myself on your blog like you do wherever you go.

Be civil or stay the Fuck home.

BBC said...

You're correct, and you can always delete any of my comments that you don't like. Not that it will change anything in our evolution to higher beings, if we actually manage to evolve into higher beings.

Beach Bum said...

I figured a daughter would be a cake walk compared to raising a bonehead boy.

Just for me it’s the opposite, my son I can manage for the most part but my daughter ties me around her finger with unbelievable ease.

Kulkuri said...

You have every reason to be proud of your daughter. I know I'm proud of my daughter.
Judging by the bruises on her arms, roller derby is still a rough and tumble business. Some months back saw an article in the paper about roller derby here in Hot-Lanta. I too was surprised to see that it was still around.

Your latest post made a lot more sense after I read the comments on this post.

El Cerdo Ignatius said...

Crum, be proud. You and your wife obviously did a great job raising your daughter.

If I'm still living when my daughter #2 has completed her teenage years, I'll let you know.

Mauigirl said...

Cool! Your daughter sounds great.

susana said...

raised 3 boys... twasn't a cakewalk that's for sure! and they really aren't raised, they've just turned into 20 somethings thangs.

David Barber said...

I've been a bit busy of late so apologies for not dropping in. She's a looker your girl and you really seem like a top dad. I have two girls myself and I certainly wouldn't swap them for sons. My brother has three sons and they can be a royal pain in the ass!

Regards my friend, David.