Thursday, March 19, 2009


Dangling from the branch upside down, gravity forcing blood to his head and his butt out of his britches, he continued to share his philosophy of an upside down existence, and how it was impossible. Only now he had moved to the notion of Gravity.

He rambled on about Life being just a perspective ruled by Gravity. There was nothing else but Gravity. Without gravity we would become shiftless and forever nomadic. Nothing, not even procreation could happen without Gravity. Without Gravity, we would not exist.

I stood watching and listening. I tossed the worn baseball up and caught it as it came down in that new mitt I got for my birthday.

"What about Space moron? Alan Shepard lived through it. There's no gravity in Space."

Ralph stopped swinging on the branch. He looked at me oddly. He blinked. Damn it was unnerving that he could hang like this for so long.

"How do ya know there's no Gravity in Space? How do you know Space even exists? I can prove Gravity exists. See." And he shot a loogie in my direction. It fell to the ground almost on my new sneakers. "Just cuz they said he went into Space doesn't mean it's there. Prove to me Space exists."

I ignored his dare and continued tossing my ball up and catching it as it came down. He had me there. I could not prove Space existed other than the lessons taught to us in school or what we saw on TV. I never could argue with Ralph. He just wasn't human.

So I asked him this. "Does Pain exist?" I grabbed his legs and tossed him off the branch. That five foot drop had to hurt.

"Yeah I guess it does. Especially when you throw some Gravity in", I said. "Now let's go play some ball".

Keep it 'tween the ditches............

(308 / 7890)


Chef Cthulhu said...

There is no gravity.

The earth sucks. :P

Great story. Been talking much about gravity and frame of reference. Yesterday I successfully explained why an object thrown straight up hits the ground with approximately the same velocity it left your hand with.

Chef Cthulhu said...

Oh...forgot to add...there IS gravity in space. It's just that orbital motion reduces its effects to what is termed "microgravity".

Gary ("Old Dude") said...

Yikes, I think I remember when that Issue of the Post was delivered!!-----it was a tuesday.

Kulkuri said...

Maybe there is no gravity, maybe everything sucks kinda like blackholes only different.

Utah Savage said...

Ask my breasts if gravity exists? Space does not exist inside my house, otherwise I'd have more space to mess up and clean. Thank god for less space.

BBC said...

Without gravity we would become shiftless and forever nomadic.

No, nomadic is what happens when we don't have, or forget our roots. Gravity is simply something that keeps us on the planet.

BBC said...

My dick can still overcome gravity most days, ha ha ha.

Randal Graves said...

There certainly IS gravity. I put it on my turkey as often as I can.