Yes, I have been a tad wound up of late. And yes, like a child of 6, I am prone to being easily distracted. I often have 5 things going at a time like my mom used to have 4 or 5 butts smoldering throughout the house at any given point of the day. Unfortunately I picked up her scatter brained habits and my dad's appetite for the demon rum. A combination that took it's toll on friendships, relationships, and chipped away at the health I once had.
I come by my foibles and faults honestly. Just as we all do. I worked hard to develop the idiosyncrasies and loose dog ways everyone has learned to put up with these last 56 years. No matter what I forget, miss, or show up late for, every one of my friends and a few relatives know I always mean well.
So sniff, sniff. I really had my feelings hurt today. The sensitive Mike took a hit. Mike's so called male ego and his manhood were abused and used like kids with brand new chalk and a sidewalk to fill up.
My so called friends really do think I am a whacko. I realized this as I was discussing bike stuff with Double Dave and Jim-Jim. The four of them were on me hard about misplacing tools a minute after I set them down. Comments flowed laying into me just because I like to save things most folks consider trash. Once they got on a roll, there was no stopping them. A classic roasting. Real friends these clowns are.
"You guys act as if I am some sort of whacko", I said in defense of my individuality and self image.
Four voices fell silent and 8 eyes just stared at me. Deadpan faces that just shouted "Well duh, you didn't know that?" And the light blinked on. The bell was rung. My synapses clicked and I realized yes, they thought I was a whacko. A strange man who is different in many ways from what I guess most folks would consider normal.
I never took stock or really considered how people perceived, received me. Oh sure, those sweaty palm moments when a first impression is on the table, or blue lights lighting up my rear view driving home can tend to make me self conscious. But generally I stumble through Life clueless and oblivious of my impression on the rest of the World.
My mom always claimed I tread where angels wouldn't. My older brothers seemed to roll their eyes quite a bit when I was around. Dad's favorite phrase when within earshot was, "Take a breath Mike". I noticed it all, but never followed A to B to find C.
Okay, I am a bit on the odd side. Deep down I guess I always knew this about myself. Didn't seem to make a difference though. Marching to another's tune without a paycheck never seemed to feel right. I had to stay in character. Sanity first. Everything else is just what happens around it.