Monday, June 02, 2008

Looking Good

Yesterday I allowed a post to get out of control. It was one of the few posts I actually started with a plan. I had the subject. I had what I considered a catchy lead. The whole thing played well in my head before I started. It should have been simple. Right.

I could not find just the right picture to go with my post. I spent far longer than I should have using the search engine on Photobucket to find that one image that would dovetail perfectly with what I originally had to say.

I lost interest in finding perfection and settled for distraction. Something like 141,000 possible choices popped up when I wrote "Las Vegas" in the little search box. So once again, Las Vegas made me pay attention to her and lose interest in why I was there in the first place. I don't even have to be in Vegas for the town to screw me up.

So today, I will attempt to get back on track. Regain some of that rigor and focus I have been working semi-hard to ingest into my blogging efforts. Working semi-hard? That may be an over statement. Let's just say, I am toying with the idea.

The 3 ladies tearing around my shop intent on getting fit so they would look good for their trip to Las Vegas pointed to one of the many differences between us guys and the girls.

Women will plan some trip somewhere. With the Family, with some friends, or by themselves. It does not matter with whom or where they are going. A top of the list goal is to look as good as possible while they mingle with strangers thousands of miles away from where their real lives pan out daily.

They will shop for new clothes. Sometimes clothes they hope will fit by the time the trip happens. I call it optimistic shopping. The women will sign up for some accelerated "make you slim, trim, and beautiful in 10 days" exercise program. They will crash diet. Facials, pedicures, new doos. Anything they can think of so that strangers take notice while they lounge under a Mexican sun. Women with deep pockets will often look to medical miracles from high priced boob adjusters to make that new swim suit look like it is a new kind of melon display case. For display purposes only, not for swimming. And do this because they are headed to the Bahamas in a few weeks.

Yet, when they get home, they will fall off the wagon. Immediately go back to their "I don't care what I look like in front of the people who see me everyday" shtick. They looked good in front of strangers in a strange land. That is what was important.

Guys on the other hand pretty much look the same no matter where they are. If they are fat and sloppy at home, it is a safe bet that image will travel with them on the plane. Maybe a haircut, and some new tighty whiteys, but how they look at Disney World is how they look in hometown, USA. If a guy has new duds for a trip, oftentimes it is because Mrs Guy handed him some to pack into the suitcase.

When a guy decides to gussy himself up, it is usually based on a new job, meeting the future Mrs Guy's parents, or he has had that 5th heart attack and losing 50 pounds finally seems like a good idea. Guys are less likely to try and squeeze into something only a wish and a pry bar would make happen. The girls will often go to insane measures to pour themselves into outfits that make me wince in pain just thinking of their bits and pieces mashed together in what has to be uncomfortable circumstances. Boys tend to gravitate to comfortable, girls tend to well, it is often obvious comfort was not their first goal.

This uniquely human tendency of males looking drab and inconsequential and the ladies flashing it up and shouting look at me certainly runs counter to 90% of the rest of the animal kingdom. The Male Lion has the cool mane and comes off looking real bad ass. Mama Lion looks like a big brown kitty cat but is the real bad ass. Mr Cardinal is the fashion plate at the local feeder. Hangs out looking good. Mama Cardinal swings in dressed in drabby feathers. But she is all business as she grabs a sunflower seed and then immediately heads back to the nest to regurgitate some good grub up for the young'uns. Seems the duties remain the same for Humans and critters, just the fashion plate part has changed hands.

I am happy with this arrangement. I resigned myself early in Life that I was not going to be a clothes horse or wow the women with my cool doo. I started Life wearing baggie comfortable clothes. I will most likely close it out the same way. But ladies, you keep doing what you are doing. The pleasure you give me in appreciation for how you look or the laughs when what you are attempting falls flat keeps me coming back. Frankly, your approach to the same life I experience fascinates me.


Carlita said...

I don't think I have ever shopped or had my hair done for a vacation. But then again, I'm not necessarily typical.

I am getting my hair cut before I leave for my sister's wedding at the end of the month, so maybe that will turn out to be a slippery slope.

Demeur said...

This is a classic post. You realize that women don't primp and spend so much time trying to find that just so look to impress men. They do it to impress each other.

Anonymous said...

A friend was just telling me the other week that in the bird world, we were discussing scarlet tanagers, it's the male who is colored so brightly 'n pretty. There being fewer females in birdland, the guys have to get themselves all prissy pretty hoping to get noticed 'n selected.

So think next time I go out alookin' hoping to get selected, I'll just stick a few brightly colored feathers in me hair. And whistle.

MRMacrum said...

demeur - Yeah,that's true. Impressing each other seems to rate an equal billing with impressing the men. Maybe it because men are such dunderheads, they only notice something if it's naked, has a beer in it's hand or 400 horses under the hood.