The Decade of the Mullet

The 1980's was the first decade I experienced as a nose to the grindstone un-hip white dude. My slip from hip-ness was due to several factors I guess. I got married, stopped hammering the drugs and alcohol, and started a family. Life was suddenly serious now. I couldn't laugh it off anymore.

I was too busy to try to understand the social and cultural fads of the 1980's and 1990's. By the time I did notice many of them, they had been well entrenched for awhile and were way beyond my control. I honestly feel that if I had been paying attention, we would never had to deal with the mullet as a hairstyle for longer than a year or two. But because I was too busy with a family, a job, blah, blah, blah, my inattention allowed the scourge of the mullet to take hold in  America's heartland. And then it was but a hop, skip and a jump until the hairdo pestilence of all time spread coast to coast.

Suddenly it looked like all of us lived next door to Meth cooks, wannabe Glam Rockers, aged out hockey players with bad knees, or recent emigres from Australia. Someone told me it was not my fault. They might be right. But then, they might be wrong. so just in case and in an effort to keep my healthy sense of self loathing alive and well, I will take the blame. 

I won't take the blame however for is its recent resurgence as an acceptable coiffure. That blame definitely lies squarely on someone else; somewhere south and west of here where it used to be known as the "Kentucky Waterfall".

 Apparently it's popularity never completely faded in the sports world like WWE wrestling and Double A baseball. We are destined to be punished with the mullet topped Kiss Army reenactors, Hulk Hogan impersonators and aging Billy Ray Cyrus fans crooning offkey versions of "Achy Breaky Heart" at the local watering holes on Karaoke night. 

I am sure the only reason someone somewhere insisted on resurrecting the mullet was to piss me off. If I was a hardcore law and order guy, I'd lobby Augusta to make them illegal in the the state of Maine. But I am too lazy. All I can do now is shake my head and try not to look at them. 

............  Yeah right. It's like trying to not look at an accident as I pass by. 

Please join the MFA( Mullet Free America) and stop this bad idea from raising its ugly head again.

Keep it 'tween the ditches ......................................

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Billy Ray Cyrus, and his undeserved hit, "Achy Breaky Heart", was to be my pick to go with this post today. There were two insurmountable problems though. One is the tune did not come out during the 1980s. It hit the charts in 1992. Second and probably the real reason the song won't work is, I cannot stand it. It is a deeply rooted visceral hate I have for the song. I might go insane if I have to listen to it all the way through ever again. 

So then I thought that since Billy Ray rocked one of the great mullets of his time, I figured his 2017 tune "I want my mullet back" would be an acceptable replacement. Sadly or maybe it's a relief  to say, "I want my mullet back" is even worse than "Achy Breaky Heart". 

And since there is not a tune by Kiss I feel should be played in public or private, I will have to expand my search beyond the original and logical choices.

So I found a suitable tune. Here is "Better than KISS", by Teenage Bottlerocket , skatepunk rockers from I assume the West Coast.