Arguing With Myself

I have often referred to the thoughts that bounce around in my head as being generated by a group and not by the single, self administering entity I represent myself to the Public at large. Sadly or maybe not, there is a rowdy group inside who often end up driving the narrative. They are opinionated, loud, often unbending, and each one wants to be heard before any other. 

As it turns out, I am a classic example of what happens when a committee has some sway. I used to fight it, but my fate was sealed early in life when, after a rather long period of internal turmoil over whether to lie to my father or not to lie about some childhood crisis of no worth but I was sure it was the end of the world as I knew it kind of situation. I discovered there were more than the couple of voices offering their concerns, their predictions and following up with some future demands. 

I was overwhelmed. 

Instead of fighting the rabid pack, I caved. I am the boss pretty much in name only now. I'm the front man, the happy go lucky public face. It took some years and more than a few internal riots for me to finally embrace the group. I just have to give them some time to vent, point fingers and piss and moan. I then come in as a calming voice and usually I will settle it. Not everyone is happy, but, well, that's life for a bunch of alternate egos crammed into a small space. Ultimately, the buck stops with me.

The two most common and early voices that made themselves known to me were the shoulder voices who espouse the differences between good and evil as it relates to something we have a mind to do, something we have already done, or worse of all, when we are right in the middle of what we are doing at that moment in Time. Nothing worse than second guessing oneself while one's hand is actually in the cookie jar.

I have read that the shoulder angel and the shoulder devil represent the Superego and the Id. Portrayed cutely in cartoons, they boil down everything we think about or consider into two choices: Good and Evil. Well, I contend that when I consider something by rolling it about even a little in my mind, more than a couple of voices have an impact on the final decision. 

While simplicity and the idea of K.I.S.S.( Keep it simple stupid) has its place in most decisions, denying the existence of all the other voices found in the void between black and white can lead one into cult like traps of the political and religious kind. Life is not Black or White. We all know it I think. Just some of us prefer to put their faith in knee jerk decisions based the poorly considered notions of good & evil someone else has come up with.Internal debate I think is crucial in the path to critical thinking.

In the end, what it all comes down to is if you encounter me trail side somewhere and I am arguing with myself ...........  

Just tip your hat and pass on by.

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Listening to classical music has been a guilty pleasure of mine over the years. I blame my parents, specifically my father. He was not a fan of the human voice as a musical instrument. Classical music, marching music and some Jazz were what he liked.

The above post is a direct result of the Classical music I listened to as I wrote.

Please enjoy, or if that isn't possible, endure Mozart's "Flute Quartet in D, K. 285". Played at a low to moderate level is what I would advise and then relax.