Prince of Darkness

I never liked to use the word "the Devil" as a name for the corporeal representation of Evil we have been programmed to believe lives and rules in underground caverns populated by dead multitudes of evil doers our various factions of Christianity have decided were sinners whose only sin was well, almost everything they did.

In my mind, the word "Devil" conjures images of a cute little red guy who inhabits the outside of small cans of various foods. The insinuation is "devilishly" good food exists inside and it's almost a sin to eat it. As a youngster, I consumed the contents of many said cans with , wait for it, ... a fork. Apparently I was doomed to the fires of Hell before I was ten.

The name "Lucifer" sounds like the name of some dude you might remember from that last Kegger or Rave but cannot place his face even when shown a picture. He's the guy you sit next to on the bus who always stares at his feet and only listens to his I Pod with one ear bud because he wants to hear the trouble coming with the other ear. His name might be Lucifer, but everyone calls him Luke, because calling him by his full name might possibly be tempting fate, which is always out there waiting to screw up our day.

I prefer the word "Satan". The word "Satan" exudes wickedness and champions the evil he is accused of. It is a word best whispered in dimly lit rooms where people in dark robes form circles and chant rock tunes backwards while rubbing lard on each other's naughty bits. ..... Well. something like that anyway. The image changes day to day , week to week and is always at its best when I hear church bells ring.

But most often, when I build up an image of Satan in my mind, I see a dark lord parked in a fiery barco-lounger sporting sharpened teeth and the best tats in any world, above ground or below. Idly as if he is bored, he casually impales humans rectum first on rusty crooked spears and dips them into pools of fire. After a good dipping and swishing around, Satan bites their heads off and washes their leftover grit and gristle down with copious amounts of their blood lapped up out of human skulls. A kind of Under World version of a fondue party.

"Beelzebub" would be a satisfactory stand in for "Satan", if "Satan" was not available. But as "Satan" is available, any further discussion regarding the name "Beelzebub" is moot. Besides. "Beelzebub" is an anachronism from back in the days when humanity couldn't make up a coherent word to save their lives. Too many e's and the suffix "bub" gives the name a kind of Good Ole Boy slant, which in my mind does not conjure up a fearsome countenance sporting red eyes and forked tongue.

And finally we come to the PC name entry; "Prince of Darkness". I am not sure what feel good bonehead thought this name up, but they certainly did nothing to keep the fear and loathing of Evil at the high pitch we humans need it to be in order for us to toe the line drawn up by God. It is a name for the light weights, the polite society helicopter parents who don't want their children to think bad of anyone, not even Satan. When I think of the name Prince of Darkness, I imagine a fairy tale Princess with horns to die for giggling as her man "the Prince" fits a lost shoe on her left hoof. 

These are but a few of the many names used that personify the acts of Evil humanity heaps on itself 24/7, 365 days a year. It boggles my mind that some of us actually believe this poster child of the wickedness in our world actually exists. I cannot say with certainty though that they are wrong. Just as I cannot say that God exists either. What I can say is I doubt either one is watching us too closely. That we are still here after all these years, neither Good nor Evil have conscientious stewards who give a shit about the puny efforts of a puny species to rise above the spiritual squalor they exist in.

Should have saved this post for a Sunday. Oh well, Saturday works. Later .......................

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Just as there are an infinite number of names and images of  Satan out there for our imaginations to chew on, there is just about as many tunes written over the course of Human history that are about or mention Him/Her. I did not need to search for a tune however. There is only one song that popped into my mind. It is a tune by Procol Harum from the early 1970's. I bought the vinyl version of "A Salty Dog" out of the back of a music store van that stopped weekly at the gas station I pumped gas at. The driver restocked the 8-track rack that nestled next to the snack rack in the office. He also carried thousands of vinyl albums for record stores on his route. He charged me $1.50 per album, cash. I did not save much money that summer. I wore that album out quickly and had to buy another. Damn, I love that album.

With no further to do, undo, or ado for that matter, here is "The Devil Came From Kansas". Again I advise tuning it up to wow as a good choice.

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Disclaimer - I more often than not, knee jerk these posts into existence relying on the random thoughts that so often overwhelm my mind. I try to make them coherent with as many grammatical and spelling errors repaired as possible. BUT - I don't waste too much time. This is Fun writing. And Fun writing does not always stay between the lines.