Monday, October 29, 2012

An Exercise in Stupidity

Storm A comin!  Storm A comin!

The media has not only made sure we know a big storm is going to have it's way with the Mid-Atlantic Seaboard, they have outdone themselves with their efforts to instill the needed panic to drive the aftermath for more than a few news cycles.  Store shelves up and down the East Coast are emptying.  Generators are being crammed into car trunks, pick up beds, and ole lady handbags in anticipation of widespread electrical failures.

Brilliant news folks are asking the questions that need to be asked of the various authorities who will have to deal with the clean up.

"How long will it take to get electricity restored for 50 million people?" - one smart news  woman asks a FEMA honcho.

I watched and listened to this unanswerable question come out of this woman's mouth and I imagined what the FEMA guy was thinking as opposed to the company line that came out of his mouth.

His Mouth:
"Of Course Connie (not her name, but who cares what her name was)... Of course Connie, FEMA stands ready to deal with whatever comes our way.  We have strategically placed teams in the areas we feel will take the brunt of the storm.  We are ready."

His Mind:
"You dumass broad.  What kind of question is that?  When will we be able to restore electricity for 50 million people?  I don't have a fuckin clue bitch.  But I would love to tell you one thing.  If 50 million people lose their electricity, we are all screwed."

Connie doesn't get it that this guy is giving her a chance to not look like a total idiot.  Instead she presses him.  "Well that's fine and good, but you did not answer my question.  How long until power is restored?"

FEMA guy smiles tightly and says, "Connie, FEMA is doing what it can to prepare for the worse so that we can bring back normalcy as soon as possible once the storm passes.  Predicting any kind of time frame for clean up is impossible given that the storm has not even made landfall yet.  We can only do our best to prepare for it and deal with what it leaves behind."

"So you are telling me FEMA is not ready?"

"No Connie, I am trying to not tell you that you are an idiot."

Okay, okay, so I took some liberties with the last parts there, but it certainly is a plausible conversation between a media idiot and a bureaucrat.

It is interesting that this particular weather event has made every metereologist on the East Coast wet themselves in anticipation.  A "super storm" they are calling it.  Two unusual things that do not normally happen are what will possibly make this storm one to remember.  Instead of behaving like a good hurricane and heading out to sea, Sandy is proving to be a juvenile delinquent.  She is taking a sharp left hand turn at Atlantic City, NJ where she will hook up with a rather large system who prefers to remain anonymous that dropped down on us from Canada.
( Nothing good comes out of Canada.  But I do appreciate the fact that they keep us so far away from the North Pole)  Romantic sparks will fly as  Sandy and Storm Doe party like there's no tomorrow and well, there will be some unhappy hosts when they finally move on their way.

But predicting who will be unhappy and how many there will be is an exercise in stupidity.

Batten down the hatches and I will see you later....................................


jadedj said...

Having grown up in Florida, I've heard it all before, many times. I take weather and political predictions with an over abundance of salt.

Mr. Charleston said...

I hear so much of this type of crap from the news, particularly local news, that I want to... well, that's what martinis are for.

Kulkuri said...

I survived hurricane Bob on Cape Cod in '91. We lost power for a day, some places didn't have power for over a week.

I know what you mean about the talking heads on TV being clueless. Sometimes I wonder how they can find their way to the TV station by themselves??

BBC said...

She is taking a sharp left hand turn at Atlantic City, NJ where she will hook up with a rather large system who prefers to remain anonymous that dropped down on us from Canada.

And a bunch of Atlantic City hookers, blow jobs for everyone. :-)

BBC said...

Anyway, being without electricity for a week or two would seem normal to me.

Mauigirl said...

This "storm of the century" actually may qualify - shockingly they were right in the predictions;usually the greater the hype, the wronger the forecast. Thankfully we still have power but a lot of others in my area (NJ) don't.

Ol'Buzzard said...

It is actually a relief to turn on the TV and not hear political posturing - and news talking heads talking about poles, poles, poles, poles..........
There may be many people who will need help in the aftermath, and we tend to help each other up here in Maine. However, a good number of people who are injured or become Darwin Award statistics are dumb asses and do not follow their own common sense instinct for self preservation. For instance,people partying on the beach during hurricane events deserve to become shark food.
the Ol'Buzzard

The Blog Fodder said...

Considering the storm passed through the Caribbean and wreaked havoc with property and lives, how is it that from all news, the storm seems to have magically appeared off the USA east coast?