Thursday, May 12, 2011
Wear Clean Underwear on May 21st
One of our walks was through Central Park. Apparently there is one area of the park where all the whack jobs congregated. They would stand at some prominent spot, a park bench or on a concrete wall surrounding a fountain holding signs or the Bible and voice their opinions on any number of subjects. "The End" was apparently a hot topic. More than a few had distinct views on when we humans would finally wear out our welcome. I can remember one fellow was sure we only had a few months left. He assured me and the small group of onlookers that unless we repented our sins, God was going to plow us under and start over in a few weeks.
Eight year olds tend to take anything an adult says seriously and even worse, literally. What followed my exposure to this new world view, was probably one of the first serious conversations I had with my mom about anything other than the real world, real time things kids think about. The guy scared me. He was serious. He was an adult. And he told me the World was going to end. I had been well schooled by that point to listen seriously when an adult got serious. I believed him. My mom talked me down, trying so very hard to keep a straight face.
Anyway, ever since then I have been fascinated by End of the World theories and warnings. Over the years I realized that at some point one of the whackos was probably going to nail down the right date. Odds being what they are and all. So whenever I see a new End of the World date pop up, my first thought is, "Hey, maybe this one is going to be right."
Imagine my delight when I heard the other day an interview with a fellow who is positive May 21, 2011 is our day of reckoning. And by October 21, 2011, it is a done deal and only a select few will be allowed into Heaven. The rest of us will end up in some galactic landfill somewhere. The man went on to explain that once he was convinced it was all over in a few months, he actually became a happier man. He stopped worrying about mundane realities of the physical world and concentrated on the world he was sure he was headed for. He hoped to be one of the "chosen" who would end up poolside in Heaven sipping cool drinks and swapping tall tales with St Peter, Gabrielle, or maybe even the big guy himself. He even claimed he had stopped paying bills, had not filed his taxes, and had given away almost all his worldly possessions.
Is May 21, 2011 the date that will finally win the Armageddon Lottery? Maybe, maybe not. All I know is just to be safe, and make the right impression in the right circles, I'm going to be sure I'm wearing clean underwear on May 21, 2011.
See ya soon.........................or not. ;)