Wednesday, April 22, 2009

This Post Was Supposed to be About Coffee

Accidentally he regained his stride. Without a clue or an idea, somehow he relocated his center. For months his life had been out of sync. Off kilter and without direction. Oh sure there were duties, obligations, and those day to day situations he could not avoid. He side stepped what he could, putting off the inevitable for as long as possible.

About the time he was sure it was too late, he discovered it really is never too late. Starting where you are, you move on, put one foot in front of the other, deal with the task up front. It is but a matter of finding a gear, any gear to move forward in.

Nothing corrodes the soul like sitting in idle for too long. Comfort zones often become life sentences. Fear of the unknown or loyalty to the familiar can stifle Life's many pleasures along with Life's many evils. Erecting walls is often not selective. Much of what we should probably experience or would definitely enjoy if experienced is kept out along with the ugliness we seek to avoid.

I certainly fell into the comfort zone trap. Domestic bliss brought with it a whole new set of priorities. No longer could I chase whatever butterfly floated by. My life was part of another's and hers part of mine. Normal roads were traveled. Steady work sought, homestead founded, and family begun. One day led into the next. A child was born, was raised, and set free. Matters of importance centered on physical needs. Food, new school clothes, and gas for the truck replaced dreams that once flitted through on occasion. When the dreams re-visited, they were often not even given a first thought, never mind a second one. Immediate concerns about being a good parent, a good provider and a decent partner took their place.

It all changed the day the last chick left the nest. I was suddenly without a reason to exist. My job had been done. My purpose fulfilled. Time to wander off into the forest. And basically that is what I did for a period.

I sought excuses. I found them easy to find. Seems no matter where you look, a convenient excuse sits. I made use of them for far too long. Lost too much time wallowing in the comfort of my self pity. When I realized what I had done to myself, the cycle had been well established. Insidious and relentless, it kept me in emotional shackles. I could not find a way out. Life was busy all around me, but I had quit.

Today I sit wondering just how I fell into such a hole. And at the same time I try to understand how I seemed to have climbed out of it. Crisis has a way of re-adjusting attitudes and focus I guess. I will credit my troubled bike business with this latest goose to bring me back to the land of the living. Life's cycles move in mysterious ways. Ups and downs can visit without rhyme or reason. And often I will come out on the other side and wonder how the Hell I did it.

See Ya.............

(526 / 10,438)


El Cerdo Ignatius said...

Nothing corrodes the soul like sitting in idle for too long. Comfort zones often become life sentences.

Truer words were never written. If I had half your courage, I would write a thoughtful post about idleness, self-corrosion and "comfort" zones. But I am not sure where such an attempt at expiation might take me.

Randal Graves said...

I have to second that. Still have some years left until the second of two leaves the house, so I figure something will need to be done to shift the paradigm, as know-it-alls like to say.

Gary ("Old Dude") said...

sounds like your recovering from "Empty nest syndrome", and have rejoined the human race---congratulatons---the truth shall set you free-----FLY DUMBO, FLY!!! (LOL)

BBC said...

Nothing corrodes the soul like sitting in idle for too long..

Never been prone to that myself, other than maybe for a few days. When things happen I shrug or shake it off and move on.

Can't say that all in all I'm not all that disappointed with the results.

No mate since moving here, but a wise old lady sticks with me and I have many friends, I just don't hinder them with some of my thinking because they wouldn't get it.

The wise old lady does, and one wise male friend, but that is about it.

Anyway, spend more time with your business and less time fucking around on the internuts.

Leave that shit to retired monkeys like me that doesn't give a shit about money in the first place.

Gary ("Old Dude") said...

In that your into bicycles, you just have to go vist Matt's blog, "That Tears it---" and check out the video he has posted 4/24 titled Danny MacAskill-----just what a bicycle shop like you have should have going for your young customers.(the link to the above blog is on my blog role of my blog)

Linda McGeary said...

You put it very well, there are cycles to life and we move through them. Can't really avoid them. Part of nature.
I often look at it like an orbit. I have an uneven orbit. Some times I'm closer to the sun and sometimes I'm farther away.
Never quiet realizing how I got so far out, until I look back over my path and see where I was knocked out of alignment. OK, course adjustment.
That done, then I remember it's just life. It happens.
There is a song by Christine Lavine, which says, "There's a fine line between a grove and a rut..."
Sometime we don't know which one we're in until we can't see over the top of the hole we're in.
But it sounds like you have a pretty good introspective mirror to help you get back in the grove.
I really like your writing,the way you word things.
I feel the melancholy underneath.

BBC said...

I posted about my boating mishap and losing the new motor this morning, did losing it bother me? Na, shit happens, move on.

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.