As we transition from children into adults, most of us go through similar phases. The phases of discovery, rebellion, re-discovery become part of what makes us the adults we become. Each phase brings with it a little more maturity of body and mind. Yet each experience is totally unique to each of us. Where we were raised. By whom were we raised. Small town, big town or all around - each and every one of us goes through similar changes but with the specific backdrops tweaking that experience and folding it into the character we ultimately develop as adults.
I was no different. I looked at the life of my parents and told myself, "Not me. I am going to follow my path, not theirs" I then actively sought a life completely removed from the traditional professional trades both sides of my family had been involved in for generations going back hundreds of years. I was not going to be a doctor, a lawyer.........a boss. I would carve my own way. Yeah right.
I did start out on a different path. Out of college, I pursued the blue collar life of an over the road truck driver. And for 8 years, I lived out of a suitcase and collected hundreds of hotel room keys. I saw things. I did things my middle class family would never have dreamed of. Yeah, I was showing them.
I had not considered that the value systems I had been exposed to as a child would eventually win out. At some point while pounding the highway between point A and Point B, I had a revelation. I was damn sick and tired of being on the road. I had had it with being alone. The time had come for me to leave this life of truck stops and clothes smelling of diesel fuel. I wanted to sleep in the same bed every night. Suddenly the idea of settling down became important to me.
I had become what I vowed not to become. I know it was no small satisfaction to my parents that they had been right all along. I just had more rebellion in my belly to work through before I understood that the Life they had been grooming me for was going to happen no matter what I did to fight it. It would be great to say I beat the system. But I didn't. I just put off the inevitable a tad longer than others might.
And now after almost 30 years of domesticated existence, I sit here waxing nostalgic about the Life I left out on the super slab somewhere. I could go back to it I guess. Trucks still operate the same as they did many years ago. But no. I have made commitments and promised myself to other endeavors. I am in a life long relationship that requires my attendance and focus every day. And even though it is a struggle sometimes, I have no regrets. What I have, I built for myself. Both the good and the bad.
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