I was heading back from the doc's office this morning on my bike. I was not in a hurry. It was a gorgeous morning. Brilliant and almost cool. I had to pedal hard to break a sweat. I'm only pushing about 15 mph and rubbernecking the neighborhood. I hear a car come up behind me. I do not move. I am over to the right, there's nothing coming the other way, and besides it was just another of the hundreds if not thousands of cars that pass me all the time.
This joker decides to get up right behind me and honk his horn. Mildly annoyed, I do not move. I keep my line. He blasts again. I move into the lane a tad just to establish my right to it. Then I guess he wanted to teach me the lesson he was attempting to share with his horn only. He revs up beside me, slows down and through the half open passenger window starts in, "What the Fuck are you doing? What are the fucking sidewalks for?" I turn to him and smile and continue on my way.
He zips ahead and pulls the classic cop pull over at an angle to cut me off trick. "Oh Great", I think, "another beautiful day and some jerk is going to try and ruin it for me." He throws open his door and gets out. The bonehead has pulled too far ahead, giving me plenty of time to avoid this tactic and I easily go around him. I keep the same pace. I don't speed up. As I pass him he is spewing epithets and as I pedal away, I envision spittle and bulging eyeballs. Definitely someone I want to avoid. But I can't. It isn't in me.
He does his best imitation cop stop again and this time I pull up. Before he has a chance to get out of his car, I jump off my bike start pounding on his car and screaming, " You want a fucking piece of me Asshole. Just get the fuck out now and we'll fuckin dance. Come you fucking pussy." I do the best imitation of him I can. The man thinks better of it, closes his half open door and speeds off. I smile and continue on my way. What a beautiful morning. And I smiled all the way back to the shop.