Saturday, September 10, 2005

Wake Up Fool!

The other morning I awoke. Not my standard birth of awareness that comes with that first sip of coffeee. I remember opening my eyes. I must have been on my back. The first thing I focused on was the white ceiling overhead. But wait, no, it was moving. And it was furry. Damn! Fernando was standing belly down over my face. I coughed, gasped and tossed 'Nando across the room. Nothing worse than waking up with a mouthful of cat hair and a kitty butt 3 inches from my nose. I hate that.

No easing into this day. I was not going to enjoy the gradual process of becoming aware. Waking to some dumb pet antic has the potential to get a day off on the wrong foot. And sometimes not. I sat up in bed. Fernando, that big dumb tom, jumped back up into bed, stood up on his hind legs and threw his front paws on my shoulders. Briefly he looked me in the eye. I think he was checking out my P-oed index. Satisfied I wasn't going to bounce him off another wall, he head butt me and bit my nose. Fernando is huge and a clumsy lummox as cats go. His idea of gentle will make you want to cry sometimes when he attacks your feet or decides that ear looks tasty. His nose nip caught me perfect in the nerve that goes right to pain central in the brain. The one that also turns on the tear reflex and makes me want to sneeze. Damn, awake 45 seconds and I am already trashed by one of our little darlings.

I sneezed and quickly rubbed my nose to soften the intensity of that perfect bite. I did not toss Fernando. He stayed there front paws perched on my shoulders and hitched his head sideways and it seemed he was smiling. "Wake up fool. Time to rough house. No, let's get the string and, uh , not that, the jingle ball! You throw, I'll go. Get it and then not bring it back." So I obliged and threw him down on the bed and gave him a screamin belly rub. I tossed him, beat on him, picked him upside down and threw him into the pillow. 'Nando gave as good as he got. Those big paws and mouth made me pay. I walked down to the kitchen with shredded hands and a smile on my face.