"A Little Dab'll Do Ya" - Part 1 - "Impressing the Ladies"

My first effort at impressing the ladies was in First Grade. It was 1958 while I attended the elementary school on Hickam Air Force Base in Hawaii. My brothers were much older than I and were experts at impressing the ladies. Damn, they even liked those pesky females. 

I noticed they were constantly utilizing the magical properties of a popular hair grease called Brylcreem, . They would often stand in front of the bathroom mirror primping and preening before they headed out for their night fun. Their grooming rituals always ended with a dab of Brylcreem on the front line hairs of their flat tops in an effort to accentuate the overall effect of the flat top they wanted everyone to notice. They wanted everyone to know that they were hip, they were with it, they were not square.

I had been impressed with the Brylcreem commercials at the time. They had a catchy jingle, and a catchy slogan, "A Little Dab Will do Ya". Apparently girls went gaga over guys who used Brylcreem.

I had no real interest in impressing the girls at the age of six. As a matter of fact, I was an avowed girl hater at the time. They were weird and scary. Sadly though, the need to impress the ladies comes with the male gender. It is embedded in our genes and we have to at least try once or twice to impress before we give up and move into our parents basement for the rest of our lives. 

After I had absorbed one too many Brylcreem commercials, I decided I would test their product to see if their claims on TV were true. I grabbed the half used tube of Brylcreem that my brothers used way too often and took it to school with me. In the few free moments between the blah blah blahs from the teacher, Johnny Freedman and I came up with the "Brylcreem Plan".

At recess, we slathered ..... Uh, when I say slathered, I mean we applied an over the top layer of Brylcreem to our buzz cuts. We then tormented the girls by running after them and repeating, "A Little Dab'll Do ya". At first they didn't understand. well, you know girls right? Not very quick on the uptake. 

One of the girls waiting her turn in the hop scotch line finally understood. Just like that, Johnny and I became the prey, not the predators. Many of the recess girls began chasing us and damn if a couple of them didn't catch us. We were tackled, overcome and manhandled by those creepy girls. They were loving it. Johnny and I weren't so sure. ...... Finally, a teacher stepped in and broke up the party.

Johnny and I were reprimanded for creating chaos and a I had to take home the first note of several that would go home with me that year. I remember handing the note to my mom. She read it and looked at me. Touching my hair with a finger, she began laughing and shaking her head. That may have been the most humiliating moment of the whole ordeal. My mom wasn't being predictable and punishing me. She was laughing at me. She made me take a bath and wash my head several times before I was done. I put the tube of Brylcreem back on the counter in the bathroom. It had almost no Brylcreem left in it.

I should have remembered this incident when I was older and attempting to impress the ladies. Sadly, the intervening years found me totally unprepared for that unanswerable question:

"How the Fuck does a guy impress the women if they're not rockin the blue eyed handsome look of a  Paul Newman or some other chiseled faced Man-god who has to beat the ladies off with a stick?"

 I tried and tried to catch their eye, but usually fell short. It was the women I did not try to impress that found me and for whatever reason decided I beat a blank and a romance was born.

As always please Keep it 'tween the ditches ..............................

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A two-fer video treat today. First up is a Brylcreem commercial from my childhood that may have been at least partly responsible for the recess riot I caused in First grade.

 

 Second video is from a much underrated band from the 1960s. This band was the inspiration for the TV series, "The Partridge Family". They were the real deal though. A family who played their instruments and sang. Here is The Cowsills with their cover of "Hair".