Mom

When my mom was interred next to my father at Arlington Cemetery in 1991, I remember thinking, "There's no one left now". I was not sad as much as I was relieved. Her end of life suffering was over. We got back in our car and drove home to Maine.

We had been back in Acton for awhile and her birthday came around. That is when the pent up guilt hit me. I was not sure why I felt guilt, but I certainly did. The moments of self denial and taking her for granted descended on me and for a day or so, I was in pretty bad shape. Then Time did what it did best. As each year passed, my guilt settled into the the cracks that Passing Time seems to leave in its wake. My memories of her began to leave a smile on my face again.

I still remember the anger I felt at being treated like the red headed step child. Only now, I know, most of the pain I embraced was self induced. My mom was a good woman who passed through life as best she could. It was not her who should have apologized. It should have been me. 

Today would have been her 109th birthday. And though I often forgot her birthday while she was alive, I seldom forget it now.

Happy Birthday Mom, I hope you were right and are now enjoying a new life somewhere.

________________________________

I had decided on a wonderful and timeless Blues tune by Nina Simone for this post. But the song just did not fit how I felt. I continued to flip through my memories for a better fit. Beth Hart came to mind. Here is her wonderful tribute to her mom, "Mama This One's for You".