Thursday, November 03, 2022

The Firebrand

Cult members with adoring eyes and clinched fists surround their new messiah. They want to touch him, but he pulls away. That is okay. Just to be near him is enough. 

Their eyes glaze over as he tells them he gets them and understands the tragedies that make up their lives. He promises the impossible and they believe him. They are sure this Heaven sent messenger will set them free and smite down all those who they have been programmed to blame for all their troubles.

The Orange One smiles. He knows now these minions here in East Bumfuck, Alabama are his to do with as he pleases. He has stirred the mob up into a single mouth frothing frenetic maniac. Just a few more words of imagined dangers to really set the hate and discontent accompanied by appropriate hand and arm flourishes and these brain dead stooges will be ready to mount the new crusade that will make him king.

He smiles his best insincere smile, steps back from the podium, raises his arms and does a victory lap in his mind. As he turns to step off the stage, his handler gently grabs his arm to guide this new pretender looking for a throne to the back stage exit and into the limo.

The Firebrand settles his imposing figure into the plush leather seat in the rear of the limousine and leans back. Looking up at the crushed velour fabric ceiling, he mutters to the limo driver, 

"Did you smell the crowd behind me? Sure hope the next crew bothers to take a shower. ........Damn I love the Stupid, just wish they washed occasionally." ........... Where we off to now?"

"Uh, no sir, I noticed no bad smells. I was with the limousine.....  The itinerary says Mobile sir, but it has been canceled. I have been told to head back to the plane."

The Orange One continues to stare at the ceiling. He wonders why Mobile has been canceled. As if he is a mind reader, the limo driver anticipates his next question.

"Your man in Mobile said there was not enough people there and he knows how much you hate small crowds."

"Well okay then. .........  I'm feeling like McDonalds. A Big Mac and fries would be just the thing right now. Oh, order a vanilla shake while you're at it."

"Sir, I am not allowed stop anywhere but the hotel or the airport, you know that."

"Don't tell me what I know."

The Orange One leaned forward and through the sliding window separating him from his driver, he hissed,

"By the way driver, when we get back to the plane, you are fired."

"Yes sir." 

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** Thanks to Duff Moses for the best political cartoon I have seen in years.

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I had chosen the music for this post before I wrote it. I offer up "Megalomaniac" by Incucbus. Perfect for this post, especially if turned up to wow. Enjoy.