It's all about economizing, squeezing every penny out of everything I do to try and regain something close to profitability again. So I spend 3 hours on the Internet after a full work day comparing the same parts on different sites trying to make up orders that will maximize the money I have this week to spend on re-stock and special order parts.
At some point, trying to place a value on my time based on dollars per hour is lost as I maybe hope for dimes per hour. It doesn't fuckin matter anyway. There is no profit or paycheck until I somehow find my way back into the black.
After 12 years of this shit I would say the honeymoon has been over for a long time.
Mind you, I am not bitching, whining or complaining. Just stating it the way it is and has been now for several years. So if I seem to not be quite so peppy or friendly, well maybe it is because I am not peppy and not feeling all that friendly. Many days I often look at the recently fired, the recently pink slipped and mumble under my breath, "You lucky bastards. At least there is some kind of support structure for you."
Obama's Jobs bill does not do squat for me or my area to any great degree. The offered loan monies for small businesses seem to stop at businesses much larger than mine. Yet everyone cries about how Main street is turning up in Walmart now. Everyone whines about all the empty storefronts on Main street. And in the meantime, we bail out people who could afford the hit and are now issuing themselves huge bonuses again.
I understand no one owes me a living. I chose this self employed lifestyle. But when I see the favoritism shown some to the detriment of others, I get angry. When I see the leaders of this country with their heads so far up the ass of big business they need air pumped in to stay alive, I get angry. When I see people falling lock step in behind liars and crooks because they sound good on TV, I get angry.
I hear all this talk from the leadership about how we shouldn't rush things. Health care, finance reform, etc. What a bunch of crap. All they are doing is making excuses for dragging their heels in hopes we will once again lose interest and Wall Street can have carte blanche to exploit us as they wish with DC's stamp of approval.
All they have to do to change things is to do it. Stop the petty bullshit deflection that is called partisanship. Stop asking the insurance companies what they think. Stop asking Wall Street what it thinks. Make some changes and screw em if they can't handle it. Our population is entirely too large and talented for business to bail on us. Business will adapt. It always does. Up to this point the last 30 years we have allowed business to run our lives for us. The market runs us we don't run the market.
When I said I wasn't bitching and complaining, I guess that was wrong. I am. But I feel like I deserve the pleasure of a good bitch and whine session. I earned it.
Angrier by the minute.......................