Tuesday, April 17, 2007

Cranial Torture

My current troubles with my sinus/ear/head in general feel like this sculpture looks. It is odd how inhaling a a full cup of coffee and then blowing half of it out both nostrils would be Tee Time for the 4 week bad acting my head aches and throbs melodrama.

"Thar She Blows! Port Starboard, a tad astern of the bow. Why Harold, it's a duet."

" Watch out Scout, projectile coffee! .....Uh......Sorry dude. Were those new kicks?"

So the rest of the day whenever I took a good hit of O2 through the snauze, I smelled Starbucks-Verona Blend, brewed stronger than is advisable if one is planning to suck it into their sinuses at 60 mph. I got used to it after an hour or so.

"Say Mike, wanna a cup of coffee?'

"No thanks, I'm still working on that last cup", as I huck up a decent dollop of caffeine infused flem and let it drain down the ole throat.

So in a day or two, An invisible tormenter begins to drive an icepick into what I thought was my jaw. And he didn't just stick it in. Once impaled, the asshole twists and rotates the handle. I degenerate immediately into a pitiful sad feel sorry for myself loser for the next 4 weeks. When I finally decide to turn off the dumass button and actually visit a doc, Doc drops the ball. Several times. And I am still a suffering bastard.

This Photobucket image strikes a chord here in Acton. Maybe If I looked like that I'd score more sympathy from the little woman. Right now the only place I can find sympathy is between shit and syphillis in the Webster's Dictionary.At least I know where to look.

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