I still felt my face flush, though no one saw the mistake or worst of all could not see my face. I hate embarrassing myself in front of myself. It is the worst kind of embarrasment I can imagine, ............ Uh well that is not exactly true. No, it is not even close to true. Over the many years I have been alive, I have managed to embarrass myself in front of others many times. It has been a chronic issue, always waiting just around a corner, only a misspoken word or misstep away. Some of those moments were definitely more embarrassing than the moment I suffered a little while ago.
As I grew up, I became used to my self inflicted uncomfortable moments. I considered them an integral part of my Life cycle. Some of us have to be the fools for the Hipper Cool Kids to maintain their aura of superiority.There has to be someone we they can laugh at. I stepped up and sacrificed my self respect like a good soldier many times.
What I hate though is when I cause myself to flush red and no one is looking. It seems like such a waste if no one notices; especially since years ago I embraced my tendency to create laughter in others at my expense. Doing it solo does nothing for me. It just pisses me off.
So, today I decided to admit that I spent more than a few minutes floundering around and totally screwing up the job I had been tasked to perform.
You can laugh now. It's okay. Matter of fact, I hope to see some laugh emoji's. I deserve them.
Keep it 'tween the ditches ................................
___________________________
So what song would drive home the point of my post? Don't know, but maybe my choice will add to the embarrassment I crave and deserve.
When I found this tune, I switched gears. I was going to offer up "Loser" by Beck. But then "Pepper", by Butthole Surfers crossed my feed. I have been looking for this song for many years. I just did not remember who sang it.
Well on second thought. I am including "Loser", by Beck as a bonus.
Regardless, here is the day's offering.
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