The Cone of Shame

Maggie is now in recovery from a surgical procedure to remove a mast head tumor from her leg. Mast head tumors are very problematic. They can get ugly and spread or stay local and not bother the animal. A biopsy showed Maggie's was one that was likely to spread. So we agreed to have it removed. 

The surgery went well. Maggie seems to be handling it well at this point. But I wasn't handling it so well knowing I was expected to install a "cone of shame" to keep her from licking at the sutures, bandages, etc. I gave it one shot that lasted long enough to take the picture and began a search for an alternative solution. But first, my theory on how the "cone of shame" came about.

Over the many years of sharing our house with those four legged beasts politely known as pets, we and various pets at different times have had to deal with an evil conjured up in the darkest basements of some veterinary convention in Las Vegas, Atlantic City or more likely Philly. It was during the symposium held in an underground garage near the Liberty Bell. The discussions did not start until well after that third or fourth keg of Schimdt's had been tapped.

A vet of dubious reputation from Dallas, Texas whose specialty was midget donkeys and toy Shetland ponies suggested that the industry should embrace a new device intended to keep house pets from licking surgical sites, their butts, and pretty much anything they might hanker to run their tongues across. He called it "the recovery collar".

He claimed it would be like printing money. The pet owners would be glad to pay for this as it would be a long sought out remedy for post surgical damage done to the patients by the patients themselves. Besides, he claimed, it would provide hours of entertainment for the pet owners as they endured the frustration of trying to keep their pets tongues in their mouth where, as any polite society knows, is where their tongues belong. Never mind the extra money filling their coffers, the vet network could pass around and snicker over amusing anecdote's about the comedy that ensued. 

Well, I was having none of it this time. I attempted a brief incarceration, but there was no humor watching poor Maggie have trouble walking through doors and not being able to lick unaffected body parts she enjoyed on a daily basis. So with at least 5 minutes of thought, my eyes spotted a pair of fleece socks I wear around the house instead of slippers. Hmm. Maybe. ......  I came up with the polar fleece sock. 

So far, so good. Now she can have as stress free a recovery as I can give her. We will see. 

Keep your fingers crossed.

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Once again, I had a song in mind as soon as I finished the post. Here is Charlie Parr's version of the old folk song, "Old Dog Blue". Charlie's covers never sound like anyone else's.