RIP 'Lil Buddy, RIP

 

My little buddy is dead.

I saw him sleeping on top of some laundry on the coffee table last night. He was in an odd position. I thought nothing of it. Felix loved to sleep on the laundry, clean or dirty. Besides, pets sometimes fall asleep in random positions.

BA called me for dinner.

We finished dinner and when I came back out to the living room. He was in the same position. Okay, so what, I thought. I turned on a "Saint" rerun with Roger Moore and settled in. Fell asleep and when I woke up around 10:30PM, Felix was still as I found him several hours ago. I became concerned and actually checked him out. Rigor mortis had set in, yet his belly still had a hint of warmth. He was gone just like that....... Just like and in the same exact spot Fernando died some years ago. Both seemed to go to sleep and not wake up.

At the moment I can't really make any sense of two cats dying in the same place 4 or 5 years apart. I have neither the experience nor the inclination to try to understand. All I know is another member of my family is gone.

Now comes the period of mourning I tend to fill with guilt, anger and dread. He was my wing man around the house. He was sometimes a pain in my ass. He was my 'Lil Buddy and goddammit, today I already miss him terribly.

Later ..............................................

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I am not only sad, I am also fucking angry. Loss to me is like that. I am guessing it is not outside normal parameters of the grieving process. ............... Anyway, because I am still harboring a boatload of anger about Felix, I decided to play an angry cat song. Nobody plays angry quite like Primus. Here is "Tommy the Cat".

It's not a tune for some folks, maybe even most folks; but I like it.