The Turkey From Hell

Some months ago, a client of my wife's dropped off a couple of frozen turkeys as a thank you for having her taxes done . One went to the woman BA works with and unfortunately, as it turned out, one came home with my wife.

It was a sizable turkey I pulled out of that bag. Not a monster, but big enough to tell me this bird was destined for the coffin freezer in the basement. One look at its immensity and I knew it was going to disrupt the organized calm in the freezer I had finally attained after years of effort. Irregular shapes of a large turkey size did not lend themselves well to fitting into a tightly packed and efficient square cubic freezing medium. I hated this bird as soon as  I stuffed it in that coffin freezer. 

I entertained no notion of processing the gobbler into some kind of foodstuff anytime soon. Secretly, I hoped to find a home for it at the dump someday when it had become a freeze dried turkey carcass with really cool freezer burns on its previously pale skin. But no. BA mentioned one day last week we needed to do something with the turkey. 

She suggested we ought to turn it into soup and not bake it. She said her assistant had cooked hers months ago and it was a disappointment; tougher than a boiled owl I imagined. 

A few days ago, I began the process of turning the ole bird into turkey soup. Having little or really no domestic kitchen skills under my belt, I have made the process much harder and anguish filled than I needed to. I realized that later as I relaxed for a moment and considered the absolute agony of clueless cooking I had just brought to a close.

My wife, with her decades of domestic bliss in the kitchen, (I'll pay for this comment should she read it), ........ My wife, who spent many years in support of our family at home, while I chased wages to keep the supplies of living consistently coming in; well, she acted like making soup was no big thing. She was right of course as she often tells me. But I still had my doubts every time I cussed that frozen carcass as I moved it out of the way or had trouble finding room for new freezer items because it hogged so much cubic footage.

As it turned out, not including de-frosting, the process of bird to soup took me three and a half days. The amount of soup is north of four gallons and we will feeding on this for the next eternity. It came out well, but then as BA assured me, there's nothing hard about making turkey soup.

Yeah, right.

Ya'll have a great Thanksgiving, ya hear .................................................

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Music today is that all time hit, "Turkey Hokey Pokey"......... Enjoy!