Mansions in Heaven

The Pew Warmer

For someone who scoffs at the notion there is actually a God who gives a shit about us and our petty lives, I sure think about religious stuff more often than one would think.  My feet are firmly planted on the maybe there is a God and maybe there is not fence. Why?  Well, this God has not introduced themself to me in person and basing my loyalty on faith is a crap shoot at best.


The Bible is the Lord's word written down by humans setting up a framework that neatly explains, excuses, and condemns every last one of us to the role of slack jawed minion to one of two masters.  I won't belabor the point, but I think organized religion is bullshit.  Done more damage over the ages than it has helped.

But that does not mean there is no Creator.

Regardless, the notion of Rapture has popped up it's silly head recently.  I checked my favorite Rapture website for the latest and well..................

Apparently, moving the US embassy to Jerusalem is another sign the End is just around the corner.

Add to that now we can expect China to invade the Middle East in our near futures with a 200 million man army, while Israel will ally itself with Russia to , well, I guess I am not really sure, but you can bet they are gonna whip someone's ass.

 Oh yeah, and Bill Gates is responsible for the latest Ebola outbreak in Africa.  This site has its fingers on the pulse of ........ hmm, not sure whose pulse or what pulse, or is it they just like to make shit up.  Anyway, the site is a hoot.

I spent some time on "Rapture Ready"  .  After all, it might behoove me to prepare myself some.  I won't need to bring clean underwear I guess.  All that will be provided when I step up to the allotment counter just inside Heaven's Gate.  That is where all Christians find out what neighborhood they will be living in.  The site's page, "Mansions in Heaven" set forth the type of home one can expect based on their level of piety and subservience to the Creator.

The Quitter's Mansion

Unfortunately I do not rate even the "Quitter's Mansion".  Apparently this is the heavenly home of those who  ......  was a believer in name only. Angels began to build him a mansion, but they stopped work when it was clear the client had no intention of fulfilling his commitment.

Sadly, based on the choices available to me and the time I have left to maybe get in God's good graces,  it looks like it will be a cardboard box under an overpass for me.  And that is if I am lucky.  Most likely scenario has me deported south of Heaven's border where Satan knows how to deal with heathens like me.

And I do believe in Satan.  I have not met him yet, but I have seen him on TV.  He has orange hair and is the greatest president in like forever.

Later ...........................................................