Sunday, January 17, 2010

What, No Check?

sunshine, my favorite lady Canadian, has decided to pay me back for some perceived quality she has managed to find in the mish mash I call my blog. Even though she is from north of the border, it is impossible for me to not like her. For one thing she isn't planning on sneaking down here and taking that job down to McDonalds away from me for a quarter less an hour. Hmm. I wonder maybe what with things all gone to shit here in the US, maybe she should be concerned about me sneaking north.

Blog awards are funny things. I never know just how to handle them. Now if they came with a check for a million bucks, I might be able to figure out a proper response. Yeah, if a fancy chauffeur driven car rolled to a stop out in the dooryard and some fancy panted fellow wearing wing tips and a big city power tie got out with one of those Golf Tournament checks you can read from 100 yards, well, I would probably make sure I had some clothes on when I opened the door.

Out of respect for sunshine and her odd opinion of my blog, I made sure I put some duds on before I sat down to type my thank you.

Unfortunately when I woke up this morning, I woke up goofy. Not even close to alert. Serious intake of caffeine has not remedied my befuddled condition. And since I no longer partake of illegal substances like I used to, I know now I will just have spend this day in a fog.

The World still spins out of control, garbage is still picked up, and the post office is always busy screwing up my mail no matter what frame of mind I find myself in. Duties and obligations are there whether I am bright eyed and bushy tailed or barely alive like I feel this morning. sunshine's kindness deserves timely response and action. So, thanks much sunshine.

Here's the part where I try to meet the requirements of accepting this award. I need to share seven things about myself you might not know.

1 - Contrary to rumor and innuendo, I am indeed a homo sapien. I know sometimes I give the wrong impression, but well hey, I gotta be me.

2 - Under the all the fur, the puffy epidermis and rolls of extraneous lard, I am indeed one handsome devil.

3 - Briefs - Why? Never thought it important enough to wonder why. Now maybe I should. Will my life reach new heights should I switch to boxer mode? Somehow I think that train left the station some time ago.

4 - I have met 2 US Presidents. Kennedy, the last summer before he died up to Mt Desert Isle in Maine. Bush the elder in Kennebunkport, Maine. Gave him a tour of the house next to his.

5 - I gave shit to Reggie Jackson in an elevator in Detroit once. Given how big he was and how small I was and the fact we were in an elevator, not the smartest thing I ever did.

6 - I can't carry a tune in a bucket. Not even close.

7 - My first rock n roll gig as a driver was in Baltimore in 1972. The moving company I worked for that summer received an emergency shout out from the folks who ran Memorial Stadium, then home of the Baltimore Orioles. Seems they had some gala country and western show planned to fill the void between the games of a double header. The morning of the event thinking they had all the details covered, someone pointed out they had no stage. WTF? Anyway, I was tasked with driving a flatbed onto the infield and parking it between home and the pitcher's mound. The Country Singers and Swingers did their thing and I hung out feeling really cool. Little did I know, this would be my life on a daily basis in a few years. I remember the head groundskeeper was not happy. He told me if I left one tire dent in "his" ball field, I would go home nutless. The O's split the double header with the Red Sox.

So there it is. Seven things. And seriously sunshine - Thank You.


sunshine said...

Now I can't sneak down and take that job at McDonald's I was wanting! You called me out big guy!

You look very handsome. Thanks so much for dressing up to accept this award! You're so effin classy! :)

I would have loved to have seen you give Reggie Jackson shit!
Oh, I would have been all over that!!!


El Cerdo Ignatius said...

You've met two U.S. presidents, Crum? That's pretty cool.

I can't speak for Laura, but I for one shall be patrolling the US/Canada border (at an undisclosed location) in case you try to sneak across. If you make it that far, the least I can do is help you make it in.