Friday, February 25, 2005

Getting some Religion

I engaged a rabid, foaming at the mouth, Bible thumping maniac in polite conversation the other day. At least it started out that way. For a minute or two. Then I mentioned UFOs. Whoa dude. Wrong subject. It went from wrong to a disaster in communication when I took the stance that we likely had neighbors in the heavens and they were likely smarter than us.

Now the Right Reverend Billy Bob Baker (name has been changed to protect the insane) got up on his pulpit and set down a sermon that left me astounded that an otherwise smart guy could lose it like he did. In a nutshell ( so to speak) the Rev contended that God made Man in his image. That there was only one God and he didn't repeat himself by conjuring up any competition.

What just took me two sentences to Clif Note took Billy Bob 15 minutes. Between the "and God saith's" and the "In the beginning", I managed to digest his point. When it seemed he was done and not just catching another breath for his fire and brimstone, I made another mistake. I said, "Well, cool Bob. But if we are his chosen people, and we're the best he could come up with, then I'd say he needs to try again. He might just get it right the next time".

The Rev didn't say anything. He just looked at me. Kinda creeped me out. Then he seemed to grow larger and the veins in his forehead began to pulsate. His hands began a spasmatic clenching. I could see that Old Testament gleam in his eyes. One cannot stand up to religious convictions held by a manic madman. Add in the purposeful tweak of his nose, and beating a hasty retreat seemed wise. So I did. Hope I don't see him for a couple of weeks.

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