An Email to my Other Brother

The image I picked for this post has nothing to do with my brother/s.  It is just one of the few pictures I have taken I considered a keeper.  I took it in the summer of 2010.

It reminds me that no matter how awesome and beautiful something is, there is always an undercurrent of ugliness that comes with that beauty.  Life is indeed a bowl of cherries, but one needs to be watchful when consuming said cherries, they do not choke on the pits.

Without Ugliness, Beauty cannot exist.
___________________________________

Below is my attempt to contact my other brother.  The hard feelings between he and I run deep, much deeper than any I may have with D, my other brother.  Although by the roar of silence I have received from my first email to D, Politics may have been a poor choice to use as an ice breaker.

Without further comment........................ my first attempt to contact J in at least 20 years.

J,

Timing is everything I have heard.  So, I figured that I needed to stop telling myself I should contact you and actually put words to paper and send them your way.  And what better time than now?  Right in the middle of a country wide hate and discontent-fest.

But then, when is a good time to try to renew a connection lost years ago?  I thought about it and decided there was no good or bad time.  What was important was that I at least try.  I have no expectations that you will reply or not.  I hope that you do, even if it is to call me an asshole.  In my past, I certainly called you one a time or two. And while I make no judgement as to whether you are an asshole now, I will tell you yes, I am often still an asshole.  Remember what tree my apple fell from.  Nobody could do asshole like Dad could when he was so inclined.

So, how you handling the Old Fart gig?  Me, well since I am still just a rookie Old Fart really, I do have a clue now what's coming at me down the road.  We all pay for the play of our past.  Right now, it's all about how I deal with it.  Give in like Mom did, or fight it tooth and nail with my middle finger wagging in its face?  So far, I am choosing to go down fighting. I still crash on my mountain bike on a regular basis.  And every time I think, "If I had given in to aging, I would have missed this trip to the urgent care clinic.  Ain't Life grand?"

Anyway and besides, or maybe in closing, I just wanted to roll a small ball your way to see if we might not at least create a dialog.

Take care and my best to all at your end,

Mike

I sent this a few days ago.  As of yet, no reply from either of them.

And that is okay with me.  I am looking to check off one of the things on my bucket list of regrets still hanging around.  If we never speak to each other again, I will know that I at least tried to bury the hatchet.  And that will take the edge off that particular regret.

Later  ..............................................................

Email to My Brother

I found myself a few months ago, getting too fired up over this election. In an effort to retain some sanity through the summer, I backed away from button pushing media and political hacks as much as I could. The BoZone was one of my first casualties. Every time I sat down to write, I felt more pressure to vent about the sad state our election process was in and suddenly I could feel the bile rising.

 What, you might ask, does this have to do with my brother? Well, the opening paragraph is maybe a lame excuse for having ignored my blog.  Or it is a mechanism I am using to get warmed up to relate some personal pain I have safely closeted for over 25 years.

 I have been estranged from my brothers since my mother died in 1990. She was the last physical connection we had going for us. There have been hard feelings over the years and when she passed, I blew my brothers off and got on with the rest of my life. In that I felt they had already blown me off, it seemed a mutually beneficial situation for all of us.

 So now I am 26 years older. They are 26 years older. Maybe it's time for me to stop being an asshole. Not talking to someone because of real and perceived insults, denigration, and belittling in the years prior to 26 years ago seems kinda stupid. None of us have that many years left, and I for one intend to try to renew a line of communication to them that has been withering on the vine these past 26 or so years. As it turns out, holding a grudge after a certain period of time does no one any good.

Since all three of us grew up eating dinner while politics were passed around the table like another side dish, I figured I would start emailing my brothers using something we all enjoyed fighting over. What better way to renew old friendships than with hate and discontent about politics. That way we can, or should I say, I can avoid the personal pain that caused our rift in the first place.

Or I can just relay what is on my mind at the moment.  Regardless of whether they read my emails or not, I will feel better about my self-inflicted silent treatment these past many years.  Before we get planted 6 feet deep or scattered over some lake in Maine, I will try to learn about the third of their lives I know nothing about and maybe they will learn about my last quarter century trying to make sense of this madness we call Life.

Without any further fuss or commentary, my first dedicated effort to establish a dialog.

So D, I would be interested in your take on the recent farce being passed off as an election.  Will the GOP regroup after Nov 8?  Will the Democrats take lessons from the GOP's experience?

I have to say that from my seat here in the upper decks, the GOP leadership and the Religious Right look like a bunch of spineless waffling losers who do not practice what they preach.  At least the Dems have been consistent and stayed on message.  Whether one likes their message or not, they are not in self destruct mode as it appears the GOP is.

This election is a gift from Heaven for the media weasels and fear mongering political hacks on both sides. I have done my best to turn off the noise, the useless, petty bullshit being tossed back and forth.  But it is hard sometimes, especially when I hear Trump or one of his surrogates  open their mouths.

Of the many things I have learned over the years, especially at election time, two stand out.

That no matter whether I think the country is going to Hell in a hand basket or heading in the right direction, the country weathers the storm and survives to fight another day. 

The other is that we can never go back.  Nor should we want to.  Somehow we always manage to keep moving.  We stumble, fall down ,get stupid, but in spite of our best attempts to screw up a good thing, the system and free spirit we have show us a way through.

There is no need to "make America great again".  We have never stopped being great.  It is just the bullshit of the moment that makes us forget this from time to time.

I'll close now.  Stay safe and remember to breathe.  That is really what it is all about.

Your Pinko Commie brother.

There you have it.  A baby step, but a step nonetheless.

Later ............................................