Sunday, November 01, 2009

Time is Not on Your Side

It is going to take me a month to get used to it. It always does. They claim it is done for the "Common Good" or for the "Kiddies" or some other lame ass excuse. But I know what they are up to. They just like messin with my head. They know that by keepin me off balance twice a year, they have a better chance of keepin me under control. "Give him an hour now, we'll take it away in another 6 months or so." And insane cackling breaks out in the halls of the Department of Transportation. Bureaucratic humor- I guess you have to be one to understand.

If you think I am wrong, then why all the confusion over do we gain now and lose later? Or is it lose now and gain later? How can you gain or lose something you don't have and doesn't exist in the first place? Jeez, get a freakin clue. They offer up school kid associative ways to get us on board like "Spring forward and Fall Back". What the Hell is that? Some kind of game?...........Yeah it's a game alright. A deadly serious game.

We used to be free. We used to have control over not just what we thought, but also when we thought it. Now it seems those evil beings who want to take control of the planet want to not only own the thoughts we think but the schedule by which we think them. Oh they are sneaky alright, these Time manipulators from outer space. First they come here and get us hooked on the idea of Time. And then they use this addiction to something that doesn't really exist to control our movements. Their ultimate goal being the establishment of a local food supply for their march across the Universe. In another coupla years or so, we will be the foodstuffs for awful looking beings who like their food fresh and still wiggling. After all galactic conquest is tiring work. An alien's gotta eat ya know.

I know what you are thinking. I can see your eye brows rising. Don't turn away. See the truth for what it is. I am not crazy. I have found out their game. That you might even think I am insane is a sign they are winning. Or maybe they have already won, and my efforts to save us and the planet of my birth are all for naught.

I could escape. I could leave you losers behind and save myself. With the help of that old Popular Science article - "Star Drives, build your own for under $40", I have finally finished that space ship I started in the basement so many years ago. Yeah, I could turn my back on you mindless drones. But you know what? I think I am going to stick around another 6 months and see if I can pound some sense into a few of you before I blast off into the Sunset.

And far out in the far reaches of Outer Space, a clawed hand flips off the monitor and turns to their commander, "Great Orifice Whistle, it seems the Humans are almost ready to harvest. We should be arriving about 2012, Earth Time. I don't know about you, but I'm famished."

Get with it before it's too late............................



susana said...

aliens or not, tonight I get 2 extra hours of sleep. One at bedtime because I will be real tired at 9, because it is "really" 10 and another in the morning when I wake up at 6, but it is "really" 5.
Wow the Yankees just woke me up!

BBC said...

I've always adjusted to it pretty well even though I think it's stupid.

Now that I'm retired and doing my own thing as I please it has little effect on me, other than I have to take time to change the times on the clocks.

I haven't bothered with the times on VCR's and DVD players, microwave ovens and such for years, if they don't know what time it is that isn't my frigging problem and there is no point in making it my problem.

At least my computer is smart enough to know what frigging time it is.

BBC said...

But my Atomic clock is a frigging idiot unless I reset it.

sunshine said...

The only thing that I like about the time change at this time of year is that at least it's light (sort of) when I get up in the morning now.

Other than that.. it's only been two days and I'm screwed up already. It takes me at least a week to get back to normal.

Let me know when you're ready to blast off. I may come with you. :P


Kulkuri said...

I like the Native American saying that says, "Only a White Man would think that if you cut off a foot on one end of a blanket and sew it on the other end, it makes the blanket longer"!!!

Back in the Sixties there was a lot of debate about time and at one time UP on the Tundra there was their time and our time. The state and federal offices were on daylight savings and everyone else was on regular time. The local paper took a picture of the bank clock at 2:22 and retouched the picture (before PhotoShop and confusers) by erasing the horizonal bar on the twos and came up with ??? and did a caption that said, "Even the bank clock doesn't know what time it is"!!

El Cerdo Ignatius said...

They offer up school kid associative ways to get us on board like "Spring forward and Fall Back". What the Hell is that? Some kind of game?...........Yeah it's a game alright. A deadly serious game.

More than you know, sir. Check auto accident fatalities for every Monday of the year. Then check the Monday after the clocks move ahead in the spring (and everyone has lost an hour of sleep over the weekend). It spikes just about every year. And there's no offset in the fall, when everyone gets another hour of sleep. In other words, the silly and misnamed manoever known as Daylight Savings Time is bad for one's health and could result in death.

As you say, Don't turn away. See the truth for what it is. I am not crazy.

I agree with you. The aliens are behind this.

Demeur said...

Is that Star Drive peddle powered? I just may join you.
"Captain Captain beam me up there is no intelligent life on this planet".

MadMike said...

I hate Daylight Savings Time, then again I hate the sun. I didn't always hate the sun, but after living in Key West for 20 years, where the sun shines 355 days a year, I learned to hate it. Give me the night, the clouds, the rain, rainy days and clouds, rainy days and clouds at night....Yes! that's the life:-)

Mauigirl said...

Glad you finished that spaceship - what about the time machine? I always wanted one of those!

BTW, I gave you an award over at my place!

Randal Graves said...

Are you calling Mick a liar?