Saturday, November 14, 2009

FFF #10 - The Galloping Gourmet

I figured I would try something new this week. After reading Paul D. Brazil's excellent short fiction, I thought I would give it a shot this week. After my effort here and other previous attempts, let me say it is not simple to tell a story of sorts in under 150 words. Paul does wonderful stuff with six lines. Me well, I'm trying here to sneak up on that idea. I trimmed it down to eight. Well, not eight maybe, but it's short. Nothing verbose about this piece.

Thanks to Cormac for putting this together.

The old camera had been in a box for decades, the pictures never developed, and now with the prints in his hand his blood ran cold from looking at the images that came from it.

It wasn't that the images were out of focus. They weren't.

It wasn't even the subject matter. Dead people and blood did not bother him.

It bothered him not the slightest these photos might become evidence used against him.

And yet as he handled each print, each and every one told the same story.

It was that jacket, the one he still wore to this day

It always went better with an ascot, not that flippin Red Bow Tie.

After all, it wasn't what he cooked, but how he looked when he cooked that mattered.

See Ya............

(130 / 10,010)


sunshine said... likey!
Very good Mike. I think that you did an excellent job telling the story in so few lines. Good stuff!


Beach Bum said...

Great story! Writer's Digest did one of their prompts a while back that had me intrigued to the point I had to try it out. The only problem was that it was suppose to be under 500 words and I found myself counting every word.

It was damn hard getting my idea for the the story to work under such a restriction.

Randal Graves said...

I don't know why, but I'm suddenly very hungry.

Chef Cthulhu said...

Excellent...after finishing 17- and 19- page term papers in the last two weeks, eight lines is awesome.

Cormac Brown said...

Dang, you've inspired me, but I don't want to rip you off. At any rate, concise and sweet.

And I'm glad you left the fava beans out, I hate fava beans.

BBC said...

I don't read much fiction anymore, I find non-fiction fucking strange enough.

BBC said...

See if you can find a copy of 'What Looks Like Crazy On a Normal Day'.

I think that is the title of it anyway, as I recall.

BBC said...

Ah, it's, What Looks Like Crazy on an Ordinary Day.


BBC said...

I think that it is non-fiction, but who knows, many lines are crossed these days.

Not all things are as they seem to be.

S.W. Anderson said...

Nicely done, Macrum. Leaves a reader wanting more, which is good.

MRMacrum said...

sunshine - Glad you liked it. One day I'll do it in six.

Beach Bum - Over tha past couple of years I have joined in on some writng challenges that put word limits on the piece. 100 word challenges, 500 word challenges, 150 word challenges. All in an attempt to teach myself to not be so long winded. I think all it takes is practice.

Randal - I can understand your hunger. I mentioned blood and the dead.

Chef Cthulhu - I have imagined you on some grand quest into the belly of some beast. Good to hear you made it back intact.

Cormac - Actually I also have a longer piece started i may yet finish. And it is odd, but Hannibal never once came into my mind for this one. But Graham Kerr did.

BBC - I didn't know you were not into fiction, maybe you should tell me again. Oh yeah, you have. Thanks.

S.W. Anderson - Thanks. And yes it does leave it hanging in a way.

susana said...

excellent! That was brilliant.
I have been watching #FFF for about a week, ever since I followed the link from you page. I don't think I will play, but I sure enjoy the read. Thanks

David Barber said...

Very nice piece of writing, MR.
Presentation it the food or yourself.
Regards, David.

P.s. How do you put a link for a blog into a comment box?? Mines up but I couldn't put a link on the comment I left on FFF.
Tips would be appreciated. Thanks.

El Cerdo Ignatius said...

Crum, that was positively (deliciously?) awesome.

P.S. You're a sick man.

Mauigirl said...

Excellent! loved this!

MRMacrum said...

susana - I am glad you enjoyed it. Thank You.

Not sure why I had not gotten into this sooner. I saw them out there, but was shy about trying it. It has been a much needed break from the normal rantings I usually come up with.

David Barber - Well thanks David. I had hoped to write something longer, but this just came into my head as the start of an outline. And then it morphed into what I ended up with. It was fun.

El Cerdo Ignatius - All in the name of brevity. As you well know I can ramble and ramble and ramble. Glad you liked it. Appreciate you stopping in.

Mauigirl - Thanks for the attaboy.

Paul D. Brazill said...

MR Macrum. First,thank for the complments. Really appreciated.

And very well done sir. Top story. A well juicy snack!

Freida Bee, MD said...

Funny last line. Enjoyed this. Thanks!

Doc said...

"Clothes maketh the man," someone once said, and you should be proud of this effort regardless of what you are wearing!


Alan Griffiths said...

Great piece MRM, the story lost nothing from being concise. Good tight writing and food for thought!