Friday, January 07, 2005

Cookie Monster

I am currently dealing with computer glitches of desperate proportions. As posted in previous rants, I feel that a severe manic reaction is just around the corner. My lovely wife is graciously going to attempt to bail me out by re-formatting the Hard Drive. We have never done this before, but we understand and take seriously the dire consequences so many folks have emphasized, as their brows raise when they hear of our "final solution". But I figure at this point I have nothing to lose. The computer is 5 years old and has been sucking in etheral hob goblins from the internet since day one. We have made hallf hearted efforts to protect this machine and it's questionable cargo, but in the end, our efforts were always, too little, too late. An ongoing battle in a campagin of battles and now we realize we are losing. It is time for the doomsday bomb, the re-format.

Which brings me to my update on how's it going so far.

A few days ago as I perused my file manager in hopes of catching one of the nasties hiding out in the open, I happened upon my cookie cache in Windows. There were, and this is embarrassing, thousands of them hangin out. A Festival, a Rock concert, a mob. And an unruly mob, given the increase in locked screens, pop ups from Hell, and the sloth like behavior of the bytes as they struggle through the throng to carry out the business of computing.

Upon viewing these uninvited guests, I decided the party was over. It was time to kick them out. I punched up the useless Help icons and looked for that one hint that would rid me of these ingrates who took up space and whose only function was to report back to some evil busybody who lived to know what I was doing. Being only slightly smarter than the keys I was punching, I found the Help sections, no help. So I did what I always do. I improvised. I first dumped every one of them into the hopper and flushed them. I then floundered around until I found out how to disable them with extreme prejudice. I put the cookie reception feature on manual. Now, every cookie seeking entrance into my home has to have my permission to do so.

This new strategy has been both good and bad. Some of the cookies still punch their way through. And some sites absolutely will not let me on without them. But overall, the satisfaction I get when I punch the "block Cookie" icon is indescribable. One in particular, "-My Web-" is especially satisfying to punch into oblivion.

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